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Cleverly Disquised As A Responcible Adult!!! I'm just a girl with a brain that never sleeps, it's always working nonstop. I am a survivor seeking to be a thriver, a wife, an ex-wife, a lover, a polyamorous bi-sexual, a mother, a step-mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, an anima l & nature lover, an open adoption birth mother, an educator, a swinger, a cheater, an abused child and woman, a survivor of that and so many others, always striving not to be the abuser, I need a place to be, to put it all out there, "maybe if it's no longer inside of me it won't keep threatening the life it belongs to". This is my therapy couch. I appreciate you reading, commenting and watching. Thanks for listening or not.
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Home Again - This Stranger in a Strange Land
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Posted:Aug 15, 2015 12:46 pm
Last Updated:Aug 30, 2015 6:53 am
107700 Views
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Well sweet pervs. Turns out Turkey doesn’t like 04j.com and I couldn’t get onto the site at all while I was gone. So you’re going to get a very long initial post when I get home. The week started like this.
Hope springs eternal but so does misery. Which one I’ve just guaranteed is going to be dumped on my head has yet to be seen? I flew into Turkey last Sunday to visit the Viking for the week. As you all know, the Mistress was still here. I tried really hard to be nice and keep my mouth shut but on our walk back from dinner I spouted off to her that her “free time” was up with my husband that if he was sincere in what he said about wanting to work on our marriage that she needed to know I was going to be here an awful lot and I was done tip toeing around her. I told her I’d given her 6 months to figure out what she wanted and I was done. She apparently didn’t understand a word (according to the Viking). I’m pretty damn sure she knew exactly what I meant.
He sent her on to the apartment while he blew a gasket at me. He immediately turned into a dick ready to walk away from our marriage. I told him I should have just stayed home and to take me back to the airport that I’d sleep there and get the next flight back so he could do whatever the fuck it was he needs to do with her. When he said I was driving him into her arms I had to walk away. He kept walking. I don’t even know where I went, I just turned in the opposite direction from him and walked. My vision went red and I had to dig my nails into my hand to keep me from saying or doing something really stupid. Eventually I just sat down on some random steps and cried. I was going to just catch a taxi until I realized I didn’t have my wallet, ID, passport, nothing but my phone (with an almost dead battery), my sunglasses, a hair clip and my inhaler. Luckily, I had put the apartment address along with military police and other emergency numbers into my phone. After I cried it out for a bit and realized he wasn’t going to go looking for me, that I couldn’t just go back to the airport and get a flight back, I plugged the apartment address in my phone. He did say he went looking for me, yelling my name until the cops started trying to ask him questions. Once I got back to the apartment I sat on the curb and texted the Viking to bring me down my carry on stuff and I’d have our friend Kelly come get me. He came down with a totally different attitude and said he it was over with the Mistress if that was what needed to happen for us to be back to working as a team and loving each other. I won’t make the same mistake I made in February again. She has to go. Question is, does he really see it, will he actually cut her out or is he just placating me because he doesn’t want to lose me? Time will tell I suppose.
He said he told her that they were over but she didn’t believe him and told him they could talk about it when he was less upset. Which says to me that she is going to be hard to get rid of. If he’s actually going to do what he said he would. He went to a lot of trouble to make sure that the people she met from his work community knew that we had overlapping time here together and she was just a friend. I’m sure some of them figured it out but from the way he described it there is plenty of plausible deniability. He’s inviting a bunch of the office over Friday for a housewarming party so they all meet me. I haven’t decided yet how I want to handle the inevitable questions but I’ll probably just be my normal brutally honest self, depending on who is asking.
He has been fucking the shit out of me since I got here. Not that I’m complaining but it is a bit unexpected. He says the sex with her is boring because the only way they can have sex is missionary. I’ve been bent over the couch, the recliner, the table and the end of the bed so far and we’re only 2 days into the week here. The intensity and frequency has been slowly decreasing.
I only have 2 days left here with the Viking. Since she left he’s been nothing but attentive and loving. I just pray it isn’t all an act after she left. We’ll soon see. We’ve booked 2 trips for Lil Bit and me to come out here to visit in Sept and Thanksgiving. I reminded him that we were going to need to figure out what we want to do for Christmas soon so the flights aren’t outrageously expensive. I am so dying to see some evidence of movement on his part with her.
The sex stopped abruptly Thursday and I left without a fucking. No signs that he has any intentions of keeping his word to me about getting rid of the Mistress but then again he did ask me to let him try to do it easily. It should be noted that I did NOT agree. I will continue to work on me and be happy. I have hope now that we have turned that critical corner where it was almost over. We both thought so this week. I went expecting to have a blow out with him and the Mistress resulting in him cutting me off. He didn’t think I would come at all and that would have ended it for him. He was really scared for me the night I walked off and he had no way to find me. We’ll see how long that feeling of remembering just how much I mean to him lasts.
I have a ton to write about the week there. I’m so happy to be back in the land of porn! I could NOT live there. More on that to cum. Here’s a sexy pic.
Kisses,
L
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Wonders Never Cease
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Posted:Aug 7, 2015 1:46 pm
Last Updated:Aug 16, 2015 7:47 am
104035 Views
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The Viking had a major epiphany over the last few days/weeks apparently fueled by the Mistress being a bit too overzealous in her attempts to outdo my domestic Goddess skills and pushing him way to hard for commitments he isn’t ready to make with her. He actually told me I was right about several things in regards to her and asked for my advice. As if that was shocking enough he actually listened and took my advice, acted on it and said it was the best things he could have done and thanked me!!! I feel like I just fell down a rabbit hole and I might very well have. There are limited ways for me to know how much of this is true. I’ll be able to confirm once she’s back in the states and they are back to digital but I think he’s very sincere. I don’t know what else happened besides her telling him that she expected an “outward visible symbol” of his commitment to her but it didn’t have to be a ring or tattoo. I got so upset by that declaration that I puked but for him I think it was a major eye opener to what she really wants from him.
Turns out the bed argument on my birthday was all him. She agreed immediately to move to the spare bedroom for that one night with no issues. So all my worrying about a confrontation with her over the bed was for naught. I think he figured he’d better fess up since I seem to be in a very “rational but combative mode” as he put it. I was flabbergasted by him admitting that but he really seems to have seen the light so to speak. Of course the proof will be in the actions that follow this up but I have more hope than I have in a very long time. The conversations that followed really seem to reopen the communication between the Viking so I’m glad.
The Mrs. M and I meet and had our sit down to try to see what we can repair. She of course wants all to be forgiven and go back to the way it was. That won’t happen. I’ve already told her that I won’t be joining her and Mr. M anymore. The relationship will be between the 2 of us due to her accusations about using her to get to her husband. She tried to convince me that wasn’t what she meant and she just can’t write, shouldn’t have said it, yada yada but for now I’m sticking with no sex with the Mr. For right now I’m not having sex with her either. Hugging her was awkward for me, I don’t know how much we can repair but I guess we’ll see.
The scale made me happy with a 123 lbs tonight! I’ll be busy packing tomorrow and I leave super early Sunday. Not sure how much time or if I’ll be able to access the site in Turkey but I’ll try to get some sexy pics to you my favorite pervs. Take care and love each other well.
Kisses,
L
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Really? What would you do?
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Posted:Aug 4, 2015 12:02 pm
Last Updated:Aug 15, 2015 12:11 pm
103279 Views
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I have to tell you sexy pervs that I was shocked by the overwhelming response that I should avoid confronting the Mistress. I’m also a bit stymied on what I should do as an alternative?
So my blog therapy couch listeners, I take those questions to you.
If when you showed up the Mistress had not vacated the bed you intend to sleep in with or without the Viking who agreed to this as a condition of your visit just without agreeing he would make sure she agreed. What would you do?
I said I would ask her to vacate the master bedroom and bed because I am sleeping there for the following reasons: the bed was mine long before I met the Viking. I bought it specifically so that I could get a good night’s sleep for many years to come despite my neck and back problems. I am the Viking’s wife and there for my place is the master bed. I have the legal, moral and logical up hand. Resistance is futile but will be answered with a promise to call the local American authorities to come settle the issue.
So tell me dear more patient than I readers what would you do?
I fully acknowledge that it is possible that the Viking has indeed secured her agreement to said condition. When I get there she will not be in the master bedroom and everything will proceed as if everything is hunky-doory. I’m just not real sure how long I can play that game anymore after all the bullshit I’ve put up with.
I do have the Relationship Plan and it is as he said, not drastically altered from the original other than taking out the veto and some of the language about ending other relationships that threaten ours. He says she knows we’ve revised it and doesn’t need to be in the middle of it so we shall see. It is just a matter of whether or not he will stand by it or not when it is time to make the hard choices. I’m just glad he got it to me so I have time to mull it over myself before I go and he didn’t wait until the last minute or worse not sent so I had to not go again to stand my ground.
What other possible scenarios do you see playing out in the 12 hour overlap between the Mistress and I, assuming that she is there at all? At one point there were rumblings of her going to a hotel if I was there too long. I’m interested to hear what you pervs think may happen and how I should react. Let me hear it!
Celebrating tonight as I have achieved my weight goal of reaching 125 lbs! Now I'm going to maintain and tone. Gotta make my goals a bit harder apparently.
Kisses,
L
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Just Needed to Write - Your Car Might be a Guy
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Posted:Aug 1, 2015 1:14 pm
Last Updated:Aug 6, 2015 1:29 am
101530 Views
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I just need to write. My head and my heart are a mess right now. Emotionally I’m just feeling raw. The break up with Mrs. M wasn’t unforeseeable but it was much more sudden than what I expected and she got mean fast. Now she’s going to want to reconcile and I can’t. I just don’t need that kind of Jekyll and Hyde bullshit in my life. No amount of bi-sexual romance and sex is worth it. Timing wise I don’t know if it was fortuitous or tragic. With the Knight out of town until a week or so into Aug and the Gentlemen not really living up to his moniker, Mrs. M’s leaving left me truly alone. Oddly, it felt really good to just be alone and not have to think about anyone else for a while. John Mayer’s song “Perfectly Lonely” played literally and figuratively often the last few months…lol…It made me realize how tense I’d been trying to please everyone.
I did have a few days over the last 2 weeks that I just didn’t get out of bed for much of anything. I missed a therapy appointment but I just didn’t feel like talking to anyone that day. I am bone weary of the worry and wonder of what is going to come of my Viking and me. He and I argued vehemently all day long on my birthday about whether or not I was going to go see him in Turkey next week. He made a big deal before the Mistress got there out of telling I had an open door policy and could come anytime but he wanted me to either wait until she left to come visit or if I came before she left to stay in a hotel or the spare bedroom so her feelings weren’t hurt. I’m sure you can imagine how much of a valued priority in his life that made me feel like. I flat out told him that she could move to a hotel or the spare bedroom but that I would be sleeping in my bed in the master bedroom. That bed was mine before I met him and I know I can get a good night’s sleep even with my neck and back problems. My rightful place is in that bed. I told the Viking if he wanted to sleep with her in the spare bed that was up to him but I would be in my bed from the time I come in until I leave. I don’t know how much of the argument was him and how much was her. I half expect to get there and have her know nothing of the conditions I set to come out there. I told him I wasn’t coming if we hadn’t discussed and agreed on time and money issues around the Mistress, have a working Relationship Plan, and my bed being mine no matter who else is in the house.
I still don’t have the Relationship Plan. He says he’s done with it just mulling it over. He never used to mull so much. I have reminded him that I won’t come without it being done. He assured me I would have it soon.
I get in around 6pm the night before she leaves at 8am the next morning. Assuming that what he says about the plan being essentially the same and his declarations that I’m his priority are true, I intend to have a few words with her in front of him. I’m still formulating all I feel like I need to get across to her in front of him. I think that he is still not telling her the truth about all kinds of things so she and I have an open communication isn’t to his benefit. Basically I think I need to tell her that I am his wife, I’m not going anywhere and that isn’t going to change. I’m not just a wife he tolerates we actually enjoy each other’s company immensely. Other than for work it is unusual for us not to be together most of the time. The closer he gets to retirement the more time I expect to spend with him not less. This 25 day stretch of time without me only happened because he asked me for time to figure things out with you, he and I were fighting and I didn’t want to be here. That is all about to change as our marriage gets repaired. I’ve given him/her 6 months to figure out what she wanted and how to fit into our life and I see absolutely nothing to point to her being capable or willing to do that. I think 6 months of waiting around wondering what was going to happen with my marriage is long enough. No more will I step back and let them have the time she wants. If I can and want to be with the Viking I’m going to be. If she’s ok with seeing him a few times a year for a vacation week or two then it may work with us just having minimal overlap like this. If she wants more than that, which I’m quite sure she does, then she needs to find someone else to meet those needs, find a way to fit into our life so there is more shared time to meet those needs and stop trying to coerce my husband into giving her more at our family’s expense. She agreed to join us (me & Viking). I agreed to her being part of our life not her having her own little private life with my husband. I plan on telling her that I will be there every opportunity I get and when I’m there I will expect to be in my bed. The Viking can decide where he sleeps but I decide where I sleep. I’m done tip toeing about her. If she can’t put on her big girl panties and get with the program then she needs to get the fuck out.
The Viking will no doubt go ballistic but the only thing that seems to work with him is standing up to him and going toe to toe. He or she wants to argue about whether or not I get the master bed I will just call the local American authorities to file a complaint against the woman they need to remove from my marriage bed. I’m pretty sure that marriage license gives me the right to be in that particular bed anytime I want to be. Especially since she bragged to him about knowing one of the Americans in charge there through her work. OMG would that be fun!
Since the argument about sleeping arrangements he has surprised me with coming home for over a week in September for a conference that is nearby. He didn’t think he was going to get to come because someone more senior wanted to go but he got the approval. Then right before they left going to Rhodes for the weekend he told me he took the week off from work while I’m there to try to show me that I’m his priority and he wants us to work again. Once again I feel like it is déjà vu all over again. He is saying all the right things and seems to genuinely mean them until he is confronted by her over sensitivity and emotional intolerance. Then he goes back into fuck you mode with me. I spoke with a friend of his. She has over the years become my friend as well I just know that her loyalty is to the Viking. Anyway, initially she seemed to like the Mistress but has now gone to avoiding having to be alone with them and her at all costs. The Mistress tried to play Gatekeeper to control when this friend saw him/them and a few other things that ticked her off big time. My problem is that I can’t really tell him that without breaking the confidence of the friend who is also my safety net if the Viking goes bat shit crazy again and I have to bolt. I told her part of the reason I wouldn’t go was that I had no out if things got ugly with the Viking. I don’t even know enough of how to get back to the airport to get a flight back out sooner. She offered to come get me if things got bad and at least get me to the airport if I wouldn’t stay with her. She said his whole demeanor changed after the Mistress got there which I also noticed immediately. I’ve occasionally gotten glimpses of the real Viking but only in bits and pieces.
Some ladies friends were supposed to float the local river with me but they canceled and about the time today I got motivated to go by myself the clouds moved in and it rained. I took the opportunity to clean up around the house and outside since I’m having 10 or some people over tomorrow for a small BBQ. Which reminds me that I need to go marinate the lemon pepper wings for tomorrow. I made 2 huge pans of eggplant parmesan yesterday and have 10 ribeye steaks marinating. I don’t think I’ve entertained without the Viking here before so this should be interesting.
Last weekend I got brave and decided to go to the local swing club alone both Friday and Saturday night. It was great fun people watching and dancing but no one interacted with me other than the bartender and the waitress who sat down to talk to me when she realized I was there alone and an American. She said the staff said they’d never seen any woman in there alone…lol…It is a very safe feeling place and I really enjoyed it. I’m hoping if I go often enough someone who speaks English will engage me. I did share a window with an American man watching 2 couples fucking but he bolted before I could really talk to him. I don’t know if I’ll go tonight or not probably not since it is raining and part the fun of going out is driving the Z3. The Z3 doesn’t like snow or rain. He’ll (yes I said the Z3 is a guy) make his way steadily through both with extra caution but not preferred driving conditions.
Yeah about the gender of my car. I love my car…sigh….I grew up in a culture of motor head muscle guys so the idea that boats, cars and motorcycles are women is natural. A friend of mine that I work with in the non-profit pet project with me owned the Z3 before me. She literally bought it while I was away on vacation talking the Viking into buying it when we got home…lol…Anyway, her husband said it was a guy and that was why he didn’t like to drive it so they sold it to me after I rented it to drive to Amsterdam. They called the Z3 Beemo. I have recently discovered a list of somethings Beemo does that makes him distinctly male. Although in other cars I might say it was the bi-sexual female car…lol…
If every time you drive the car in a skirt that skirt somehow winds up around your hips,
your car might be a guy. p
If no matter how fast you are going when another car passes you, you MUST go faster!
Your car might be a guy.
If you find yourself holding the gear shift even when you’re not changing gears. (Especially if you stroke it!) Your car might be a guy!
If even being near the car makes you want to get fucked.
Your car might be a guy.
If the first time you let that 4th gear wind out into 5th and just keep going for the first time in a day or two and it feels like a little shot of orgasmic freedom.
Your car might be a guy.
I picture Beemo as my first true love, Robert, the baker, half Jewish on his dad’s side(NY) and half Italian on his mom’s side(VA). His sister, Cookie, owned the bakery I worked at for years. He was 5 years older than me. With me at 16 those 5 years made a big difference. For some reason even my dad approved of him dating me. Anyway he was this short (only a few inches taller than me, stocky fireplug of sweet southern/Yankee weird mix that would charm the nipple out of a hungry baby’s mouth. He was not classically handsome. He had that exotic look really dark curly hair but green eyes and a full mouth. He had really broad shoulders. A tiny waist and perfect bubble butt over massive legs. He worked out but not a ton his body just naturally held a lot of definition. He was good at maintaining. Anyway he swaggered but he could always back it up. He was strong, steady and loved me fiercely. I wish I knew what happened to him. Anyway he’s what I imagine my Z3 would look like. I NEVER would have thought I’d love a convertible so much. I’ve always loved the Z3 but figured I’d never put the top down. I put that thing down whenever I can. It isn’t fun when driving fast but in town the top down is a blast.
I had my first massage in over a month yesterday and it was fucking painful. So much buildup in my muscles it was like cracking glass. I have 2 more next week in hopes of getting some relief before I head to Turkey and may be back in a corner balling again. Surely not. Let’s hope for the best shall we?
You sexy pervs take care and love each other well. I will try to get a few more posts and pics in before I fly into the war zone. Not really the fighting is on the complete opposite part of the country but still not a fun thought. Be well and be happy.
Kisses,
L
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Who me? 43?
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Posted:Jul 25, 2015 5:30 pm
Last Updated:Sep 19, 2015 6:04 am
101893 Views
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Why yes I am 43 but it doesn't bother me! At 127 lbs I've only been this size 2 or 3 times in my life. My early 20's, my mid 30's and now. Hope life is treating you pervs well.
Kisses,
L
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Nap Time for Nympho
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Posted:Jul 21, 2015 3:05 pm
Last Updated:Aug 1, 2015 7:10 am
102331 Views
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Hello Blogland,
It is good to be back. We left Amsterdam at midnight Saturday and got in just after lunch Sunday. I took a 3-4 hour nap before I hit the road and managed to stay awake until 6:30pm Sunday. I was out until about 7am Monday morning then I was wide awake. It was a fabulous drive up and back. The trip was great too. The zoning in the city center is changing and I hope it isn’t going to spread out from there. The trip wasn’t quite as much of a cathartic release as I had hoped it would be but it was fab none the less. Amsterdam is without a doubt my favorite city in the world. If I could have a 2nd house in Europe that would be where I’d want it. The weather was gorgeous but still cooler than I expected. I have a new rule about packing for there. Always pack warmer clothes than you think you need! I always hate leaving there but happy to know I’ll be back soon. I was really needing some home down time anyway. I feel like I’ve been traveling, packing or unpacking since the beginning of June. I’m happy to have a break to just hang out here at home. I have no travel plans until maybe the middle of Aug and those are big maybes right now.
I came home to a clean house full of beautiful flowers courtesy of my gorgeous GF. She is sooo sex. She went a little overboard with the flowers because now I feel guilty about probably killing and certainly messing up her bday presents to me. It was incredibly sweet. Her who is Lil’ Bits off and on BFF even cleaned Lil Bit’s room for her. I love coming home to a clean house with flowers. Unfortunately that honeymoon only lasted until yesterday when my request for a break after an argument lead to her breaking up with me. Ahhh well.
The Viking has been in Turkey a few weeks. He just moved into his apartment as the Mistress was coming in for almost a month. He was really hurt and pissed that I didn’t go to see him before she came and made a big deal out of telling me that I could come anytime I wanted no matter who else was there. Too bad I don’t believe that for a second other than as a way for me to possibly piss her off enough to leave him and I’m not going to be the bad guy for him. He’s supposed to be working on the revised relationship plan but he had said he would finish it this weekend. If I get it by this weekend I’ll be surprised and if it is worth what it is printed on that will be even more shocking.
The same day the Mistress was flying in my mom was telling me that she has cervical cancer. It hasn’t been staged yet so she doesn’t know how bad it is but she’s already decided to treat it as aggressively as she can. She was glad I didn’t freak out. My sister did and posted something on FB which caused a freak out among the family. My sister will tell the despite my mom asking her not to. Lil Bit is off with her daddy vacationing and he’s been warned about it so I’m not too worried about her reaction but it is going to be really hard on her. This will be the first time she’s really had to deal with someone close getting really sick. I am worried about how this will play out. Thankfully my mom’s husband has the money to take care of her. I wonder if she didn’t know this already? Hopefully whatever she needs she’ll get without family having to go take care of her. I know for sure that looking my mom’s mortality in the face is going to be an emotional roller coaster for me and yet nothing like when I took care of my Grandmothers as they died. Don’t get me wrong I’m not putting my mom in her grave early but it is an inevitable consequence of her getting cancer at 60 years old. Literally on her birthday.
Most of you haven’t been here long enough to have read my real therapy sessions where I poured my full life’s history in all its sordid glory here. This place has always been a therapy couch for me just more at times than others. My mom and I have a very strained relationship. I keep her at a safe distance for myself and Lil Bit. I try not to let my past horrors at her hands color my judgment with her as a grandmother. This is going to make that harder if I have to help her. My sister certainly isn’t capable of caring for anyone or anything and I am worried my mom is going to try to charge me with my sister’s care if she dies first. Not something I want to have to deal with.
Mrs. M returned the 2nd vehicle I’d loaned her while I was gone yesterday evening. The timing was bad because the Viking had just IM’d saying he was free to talk on the phone. I haven’t talked to him on the phone since the night I got into Amsterdam and that was only for a few quick minutes. Before that I haven’t actually talked to him since before he left. We’ve chatted a few times and a few texts but nothing of significance.
So I asked her if she needed me to drive her home and told her why. I said I was going to hang out on the balcony for a few minutes while he found his phone and then I needed to call him. She said she’d planned on walking home and would leave in a few minutes. She asked about my day and of course we got to talking about the Viking. Something I said she didn’t like and the conversation went downhill. I tried to steer it back to I need to make a phone call not have an argument but eventually had to tell her to leave that I was done with the conversation and she needed to leave. Not how I wanted to spend my evening. She just can’t accept that I don’t have to take or even listen to her advice and I don’t have to drop everything when she’s here. She texted 13 times by this morning. Basically she sees me asking for a break as with holding love and affection. I just need some fucking time to myself away from everyone.
I slept all day today. I talked to the Viking on the phone for a few minutes last night after Mrs. M left but we won’t really get to have any significant discussions until the Mistress leaves or I go there and maybe not even then. I spent the day in bed with Buster Boo. It was fabulous. Of course I’ll probably be up all night but I don’t have to be anywhere until 3pm tomorrow so it doesn’t matter.
The Viking accused me a doing exactly what Mrs. M is accusing me of; that my choice to not go to Turkey or to not continue a discussion with her is me “unconsciously” manipulating them by withholding my love and affection. Since when is setting a boundary for myself a mechanism to control and manipulation others? I told the Viking I would talk to my therapist about it. She disagrees with them and says they are most likely projecting onto me because that is what they would do in my situation. She suggested that I think about and look for patterns in the relationships I choose. Particularly looking for patterns of choosing people who are not able to make healthy attachments with me. I’m beginning to think I may have a bad habit of picking people with very narcissistic traits which triggers many of my abandonment and abuse issues. Not a good choice for me.
On the positive side I’m now down to 127! Planning to get my but back in the gym tomorrow with Pilates and work my way back up to Power Pump on Friday for my Bday! My mom’s cancer of course has me thinking about my own health and mortality. I plan to ask my provider here when/if there’s a way to get full body cancer scans done. Can’t hurt to ask.
I have nothing on my calendar this week other than to veg and enjoy being home. I am now lover-less until after Aug 6 and maybe not even then. Good time to focus on me. I hope all my favorites pervs are having a great summer. I’ll try to get some pics up soon. I’m feeling good about my body and looking forward to getting it in the best shape I can.
Kisses,
L
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Nympho Fourth
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Posted:Jul 5, 2015 2:06 pm
Last Updated:Jul 20, 2015 8:21 am
103119 Views
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A Nympho 4th of July Weekend
Happy (Belated) Fourth of July! Long live our nation of freedom. I’m not feeling particularly poetic about our country but I do love it dearly and celebrate our independence. I hope you all had a great long weekend.
Last week was just an insanely busy and stressful week for me. It really has been that way since I got home from the states. I have had so much insanely amazing sex in the last week + since I’ve been back. There is just something sensual about this country.
I had a 3am pet drop off on Monday for the pet project. Early morning drop-off for the Viking on Tuesday along with getting my period. The later in the week it got, the quieter and more peaceful it seemed. I got to hang out with M&M and just the Mrs. The Knight surprised me by deciding to come stay with me Thursday night. I really didn’t expect him until late Friday night. I love the way he fucks me. Yummy! Then he further shocked me by staying the whole long weekend other than a few hour Sat afternoon and going to the local swing club with me last night! It was the best swing club experience with anyone other than my Viking. Like everything else with him it was tons of fun and easy. I’m looking forward to going back with or without him. I think he liked it enough to want to go back too.
Mrs. M. did my hair for me yesterday for the club. It was really just an excuse to get naked with each other but it worked. I know how much she really wants that alone cuddle, sex time with me and I need to push my comfort zone with her. It was incredible! I just worry that she wants more from me than I can give her.
I dropped the Knight back off to his lonely single bed and am going to go visit a friend. I was supposed to go to their BBQ yesterday and didn’t but I have tomato plants for her. I’ll write more about my weekend with more in depth details soon. I hope my favorite friends in perv-land had half as great a weekend. Life is good and I’m going to love every moment.
Kisses,
L
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Countdown is on and now gone!
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Posted:Jun 30, 2015 10:48 am
Last Updated:Jul 4, 2015 7:24 am
103667 Views
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I started writing this a few days ago and never had time to get back on to finish typing. Forgive me if the timing seems odd at first.
Less than 36 hours until Viking departure (he flew out this morning) and for the first time in the entire 5 years I’ve known the Viking I’m looking forward to that. I have never before wanted space and time away from him but I do now. I don’t know if our relationship will heal any other way. I know that sounds terrible and like we haven’t been having a good time together which isn’t the case. We’ve had a ton of fun in the last couple weeks but we also have not dealt with any relationship issues and there is only so long that I can play ostrich. I am a giraffe by nature despite my family of ostriches.
We went scuba diving while we were in PCB and had a blast. I only went out once because I got a little banged up on the rocks coming back in. I loved getting to dive with him again though. It is like being in a whole other world when I’m diving. I love it. Finally got my ears to really clear and now pain so that was awesome news.
Last Saturday night we climbed through the vacant neighbor’s bedroom window to walk the roof naked in flip flops so the Viking could fuck me on a rooftop in Italy. The crazy shit we do for love, right? Earlier in the evening Mr. & Mrs. M were over for dinner and a strap-on fashion show. The Mrs. & I ordered strap-ons and were eager to get to try them out. The 2 of us took turns fucking each other until I needed a break. Mr. M decided he only wanted to watch so the Viking mostly watched until the Mrs. Reminded us that she was happy to play videographer for our first porn together. It was a very fun night even though it didn’t play out as we originally thought it would. The Viking was not happy that Mr. M wasn’t fucking either me or Mrs. M and was persistent to the point of being rude. I doubt he would want me to treat his Mistress that way when she is visiting. He was extremely aggressive and rough with me the last week. To the point that I said something to him a few times and I’m going to remind him and let him know that it was on the high end of my tolerance and too abrupt. M&M commented to me that he seemed too heavy handed with me. I need to work up to it and back down from that level. More than anything right now I just want to be held and understood, appreciated.
The Viking spent a lot of time and effort making me feel loved and wanted the last few days. He’s saying all the right things and doing all the right things but it just feels forced right now. I wholly admit that feelings is mine and may not have any reflection on his intent. It feels to me like his desire to be my soft, safe place, my guard has turned into a desire to dominate and control me. I don’t know if he’s willing to figure out what caused and how to alter that.
My plan was to have a snuggle, cuddle fuckfest for the next couple weeks while I work on getting my garden and house back up to living standards. I woke up this morning to my period so I will be cuddling with the hounds and a heat pack while craving homemade peach ice cream…grrrrr……
There’s so much going on but I’m too damned tired to write it all right now so I’ll just post another pic until I can write more. You crazy sexy pervs take care and love each other well.
Kisses
L
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Back to Italia
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Posted:Jun 23, 2015 9:38 pm
Last Updated:Jul 4, 2015 7:23 am
102554 Views
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As I pack my bags to leave the states again I'm torn between missing everyone here and missing everyone in Italy (including my cuddle bug Dane). To help you guys enjoy your Wed and give me some comments to look forward to reading when I get home here is a gratuitous naked pic. Take care and love each other well.
Kisses,
L
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6
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Nympho Back in the US
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Posted:Jun 20, 2015 10:11 pm
Last Updated:Jul 6, 2015 6:12 am
103349 Views
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6/3-5/15
So much going on inside my head this week. So much weighing on my heart.
Ultimatums and demands, how do you rebuild trust? Surely that is no way to start.
Wonder why I still worry if you’ll truly still be there when all you do is reassure me that you aren’t going anywhere.
As soon as the name is invoked your very manner and tone change and then you only seem to see me as an obstacle in way of your change
Where are the lens of love and respect for the woman who stood firm by you through these 5 years?
When did a take a demotion to the ranks of those you get your contempt?
Why does it take her voice for you to see reason?
Since when does another woman need to stay your hand from hurting me?
Each time I think we’ve moved closer to an understanding you start to pull away.
What role am I supposed to give up, your best friend, your lover, your wife, your mate?
How much of us will you give away to satiate?
06/18/15
The Viking and I had an epic fall out a little over a week before our trip back to the states. I decided in the aftermath of that argument which included him telling me he wanted me out of his life forever as soon as possible as well as many other choice hurtful things he could find to say to me, that my only option to voice my not accepting him treating me as sup-par was to refuse to go to Turkey. He threw out my veto and the entire relationship plan so I have no way of knowing what he is or isn’t committing to with me or what our relationship actually is anymore. In the weeks leading up to this trip we were like roommates sharing a house who were cordial but not overly friendly. Aside from the occasional hug, kiss or grope the Viking would randomly bestow on me out of the blue generally accompanied by some endearing sweet nothing of everlasting love, also totally out of character with his actions. As I’ve told him repeatedly him saying the right things is never a problem it is actually backing the words up with action that is an issue.
I hadn’t planned on telling him that I wasn’t going to Turkey this summer as planned until he left but he just kept on pushing me about the time I was supposed to be in Turkey with him and gushing over how much he wanted to spend time with me that I finally just told him. I told him to stop pretending like he really wanted time alone with me after he spent the last 1-2 months avoiding me as much as possible. When he can’t be bothered fucking me unless it is to mark his territory because he knows someone else either is or has been fucking me. When he tells me repeatedly and several friends that he’s a dictator in our relationship and I just have to accept it. Yep, not real conducive to making me want to fly a couple of hours to be treated like a 2nd class citizen, if that. When I can stay home and have several very sexy hot men and one very sexy hot woman love on me as much as we can schedule. Thanks but I’ll stay home.
The Meet & Greet with the Mistress went fine but I didn’t expect there to be any excitement. She isn’t going to address any real issues. He isn’t going to if he doesn’t have to so as long as I don’t rock the boat it will be smooth sailing. I couldn’t care less at this point, she is the least of my worries. Why bother worrying about a Triad when the Dyad isn’t working and may not survive. I’ll be interested to hear if they actually worked on any relationship stuff at all while he was with her for the week. Even more interesting will be if he’s willing to work on any relationship stuff with me in the coming days.
Being back home has been kind of surreal. I felt like my life in Italy was some strange alternate reality or time warp and I was just going to drive home to the house in Manchester. It has been very odd. Being home alone right now really made me realize some very interesting things while being back here.
First and foremost is that family is not about blood it is about who will make time to see you when you only have a week back from Italy after not being home for 2 + years. Other than my favorite Aunt & Uncle and my Mom, my family didn’t seem to care that I was home. No one other than those few bothered to make any kind of plan to spend time with me. That also makes me see that my connection to “home” is more about the area and the memories associated with it than it is my people. Other than the people in a general sense of the people who live in the area not the specific people that I know. I got to spend time with some really great friends who love me and support me no matter what is going on in my life.
Second, no matter how bad off I might be compared to now if the Viking and I split I would still be better off than I was before I met him. I would have lived 5 years of an incredible life of happiness unknown before. Many people never get that or anything close to it. I have an amazing life but it isn’t so amazing once the love, honesty, trust, respect, faith and shared dreams aren’t there. Which made me realize that no amount of creature comfort is worth sacrificing my self-worth to the Viking’s episode or whatever this phase he’s in is. I will stand up for myself and if I lose all I have with him then it wasn’t what I believed it was. Only time will tell at this point.
Third, Americans and particularly southerns are really fucking nice people! After being in Italy, southerns also do not seem slow paced anymore. They are refreshingly quick and efficient! Hearing nothing but English being spoken around me was a bit overwhelming the first couple of days because I couldn’t just tune out all the extra conversations in Italian and focus on the English. All the signs in English and traffic lights that you can actually see when you pull up to the light are so appreciated. Drivers who use signals, don’t pacman between lanes of traffic and don’t park the car under an overpass when it rains hard! Fast food is so bad but so fucking good! The 2 Krystal’s burgers I had the day after I got here were some of the best food I’ve put in my mouth. The food here is to die for, peach ice cream, BBQ ribs, chicken wings, steaks, fried everything, fruit beers…..Men actually flirt here and apparently I’ve not turned into a hag in the last 2 years. A very sexy, handsome 37 year old proportioned me for a little afternoon delight after multiple flirting chatting sessions in stop and go traffic on I-85 in Atlanta. I counter proposed that he not only fuck me after my lunch date with a GF but also join us (me & Viking) later for a 3some. His mind was appropriately blown away…lmao….but alas he did not take me up on the offer.
I picked the Viking up on my way south from that lunch day so we’ve only had one night back together. We had dinner with my family at a local favorite since they were also celebrating one of my cousin’s 21st birthdays. After that we went to karaoke for a bit then headed to bed.
We’re in Fla now visiting my Mom and her new husband for a few days before we fly home to Italy. He leaves for a year going to Turkey 4 days after we get home. I don’t have much hope of anything changing in that time. I’m afraid of what this year is going to bring but I’m also ready to face it, deal with it and move on. I don’t like being in limbo. In the meantime I’m trying to focus on what I can control, me, myself and I. I need to take the time to enjoy this last year in Italy and the people there who love me and want to spend time with me. Nothing I can do will change what is to be with the Viking. The outcome is squarely in his hands at this point. I’m just going to make the most of the hand I’m holding until a new one is dealt to me.
M&M, the Knight and the new potential lover are all looking forward to my return and I’m looking forward to getting back to see them. I’m ready for a break and then a nice vacation with a hot young Val Kilmer look alike. Liberally sprinkled with lots of Knight and M&M delights! I’m so ridiculously horny and constantly dreaming about the Knight fucking me. Sometimes the dreams are group oriented but often it is just a replay of the amazing sex we’ve had in different places, times and configurations. Occasionally, I dream about wife M but not often. No matter who I’m dreaming about I wake up wet and wanton. My rabbit has been getting quite the work out this week. I’m ready to get home and get some seriously awesome sex again.
I was down to 133-134 lbs before we left Italy but I haven't been on a scale since we've been here and don't plan to get back on one until I'll been home for a while. I'll get back to the exercise routine while I'm home a few weeks and get toning up again.
I hope you are all having a fabulous Father’s Day weekend. Take care and love each other well. Here’s a new naked pic for you pervs.
Kisses,
L
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Naked Wednesday
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Posted:Jun 2, 2015 2:09 pm
Last Updated:Jun 28, 2015 11:59 am
104458 Views
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Nothing terrible to post just developments and movement in all different directions. I thought you guys deserved some gratuitous nakedness for a change.
Anyone with strap-on experience between 2 women what strap-on type/style did you find to work the best? Thanks for the help in me picking a strap-on for WifeM and I to play with.
Deep conversations from the weekend keep replaying in my mind along with mind blowing replays of the sensual searing sex and all the sweet sext things the Knight said to me all weekend. We're only just starting to really enjoy each other I hope I don't lose him already. We have so much fun and seem to gel so well together. Seems a waste to not have a blast for the time we're here in the same place.
So Happy Naked Wednesday from Itlaia!
Kisses,
L
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7
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Monday Nympho News
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Posted:May 31, 2015 11:54 am
Last Updated:Jun 15, 2015 8:40 am
104650 Views
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Organic Orgasmic Couplings of the Nympho
I am a well and truly fucked Nympho after the last 4 days. The Viking and I have been having some pretty spectacular sex of our own but add a full weekend with the Knight plus the M&M pre-weekend warm-up and I’m on sex overload. Meaning I just want more and more of it…lol…My weekend started early. WifeM and I hung out Wed. While the Viking and I were in Cique Terre last weekend M&M working on a gardened balcony at their house to hang out on. I went to get my hair colored on Thursday, HubbyM got to cum, hmm I mean come home early. We had a fabulous afternoon. We are all still figuring out boundaries but having a blast in the process. WifeM & I are shopping for strap-ons. Fun times to come for all.
I timed leaving M&M’s house perfect so that my walk home coincided with the Viking’s return home. He even recognized my ass from behind and stopped to pick me up..lol..We are down to one vehicle since the Italian convertible top installer can’t read the book of instructions for making the new replacement top fit despite it looking too big. So the Z3 is garaged and it is killing me to have this beautiful weather without my car to enjoy.
The poor Viking has been plagued with warship issues but is almost out of this port. I went with him to his work farewell lunch. Time here for him is getting short. I would have felt like I was feeding him to the sharks if I hadn’t gone with him. He rewarded me with a good fucking before I headed out to pick up the Knight for our much anticipated weekend. Summer is going to be busy but hopefully not lonely.
The Knight was very restrained on the drive to Verona. He did get a handful or 2 of boob on the drive down. I didn’t have a dress on like I normally do for our dates so I suppose access was limited. It was a quick drive and as soon as the little old man who was showing us the place walked out clothes went flying. I was bent over the bed and cuming all over his hard cock in less than 5 minutes of the door closing. At one point he handed me a pillow to scream in…lmao….He is amazing.
We spent the whole weekend fucking, talking, drinking wine and people watching from the balcony. We did watch a movie, Divergent. It was good. Mostly we just talked and enjoyed each other’s company. We went out to eat Friday night to the closest trattoria. Bought groceries Saturday after we got up at 1:30pm…lol…and didn’t leave the apartment again until we left today around 11am. He’s so incredibly sweet and sexy.
I may not get to see the Knight much before we head back to Ga for our 10 days. He’ll be gone for work and then with the Viking’s move I’ll be gone most of July. He’ll be gone in late July so hopefully in August we can have a bit of down time to relax and enjoy the summer. I didn’t realize how crazy busy my summer was going to get with just a couple of scheduled trips.
In other news, I finally got all the bloodwork results back and sent into the IVF clinic. They responded promptly with if we weren’t willing to use donor eggs then we weren’t good candidates for IVF. Several key numbers and factors changed drastically since the original testing in Aug 2013. So far I’m still feeling like this is a weight lifted off of me because at least now I know why we aren’t able to have a baby and can be ok with not trying anymore. Frankly it frees me up to have more great sex. I just need to get back into Dr. Palin for some form of birth control. I’m almost positive that they won’t do the double procedure I want done for permanent sterilization but I’m pretty sure she could do a Mirena or something similar.
I’m still worried about what the future holds with the Viking since I don’t have anymore answers now than I did months ago. This year apart is going to be very telling for how our relationship is or isn’t going to survive. I’m just fighting to keep believing that we are stronger than whatever this is and will be stronger for having survived it. I’m worried about how possessive WifeM seems and if that is going to be something of a problem.
The school year is winding down and we’re about to complete all the hoops we have to jump through to keep us (Lil Bit and  here for the next year. Time to finish the winter to summer clothes conversion and get back in the gym despite us only having one vehicle. My weight loss has stalled out fluctuating between 133-137. I’ve got to get more exercise to keep pushing it down.
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Happy Titty Thursday!
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Posted:May 27, 2015 11:27 am
Last Updated:Jun 5, 2015 5:47 pm
104976 Views
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Computer difficulties made this post late...so Happy Titty Thursday instead of Tuesday! Happy Tuesday my sexy pervs. I got some new pics to share while the Viking andI were on the Italian Riviera this Memorial Day weekend. The house we rented was adorable. No internet, little to no cell reception just the Viking, me and Buster having a fun weekend. Lil Bit pitched a fit to stay home so we got a babysitter for her. Don't even get me started on her lastest antics.
I'm supposed to see my Knight tomorrow night and next weekend but that may get complicated since the Z3 is in the shop getting a new top. Of course we were supposed to be picking it up with the new top installed tomorrow but they called Sunday to tell us that the new top doesn't fit.
I've got an appointment with the OB/GYN tomorrow morning because they won't release my bloodwork to me until the Dr talks to me about it. That is never a good thing. Maybe we'll get some answers on why the multiple miscarriages but my fear is its something worse. Fear of the unknown makes my brain try to come up with worst case scenarios that are generally worse than reality.
After that I have a massage so that will hopefully help me feel better. I forgot my neck pillow on the trip so my neck is super stiff. The Viking forgot a jacket or even a long sleeved shirt.
It was a beautiful place but not what some people rave about. Quaint fun colorful little Cliffside sea towns. The food was fabulous but expensive. I'll attach a few pics.
Hope everyone had a great weekend. Take care of and love each other well.
Kisses,
L
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