|
A defendants plea 11/30/2004
"So let me get this straight, " the prosecutor
says to the defendant, "you came home from work early
and found your wife in bed with a strange man." <br>
"That's correct, " says the defendant.
<br>
"Upon which, " continues the prosecutor,
"you take out a pistol and shoot your wife, killing
her." <br>
"That's correct, " says the defendant.
<br>
"Then ...
1 Comments, 13 Views,
6 Votes
,5.36 Score
|
|
busy blonde 11/29/2004
how do u keep a blonde busy for hours???
Scroll Down for answer......
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
...
0 Comments, 33 Views,
23 Votes
,4.18 Score
|
|
Something's wrong somewhere 11/29/2004
After 9 years of sex in the dark, a wife discovers her husband
was using a vibrator. She asks for an explanation, he says,
"I'll explain the vibrator, but you first explain
the !"
1 Comments, 27 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
|
|
Open question... 11/29/2004
HEIGHT OF UNEMPLOYMENT: Cobwebs in the pussy of a .
<br>
HEIGHT OF TECHNOLOGY: A condom with a zip.
<br>
HEIGHT OF SOPHISTICATION: Sucking nipples with a straw.
<br>
Now, what's yours?
1 Comments, 14 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
|
|
State Mottos 11/28/2004
State Mottos
<br>
Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity
<br>
Alaska: 11, 623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
<br>
Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat
<br>
Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything
<br>
California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your
Honda
<br>
Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
<br>
Connecticut: Like ...
0 Comments, 61 Views,
28 Votes
,5.40 Score
|
|
A man's 80th Birthday present... 11/27/2004
A man's doorbell rings on his 80th birthday. He answers
the door to find a beautiful woman in her 30's, dressed
to kill and looking stunning.
She says, "Hi, your friend Saul sent me as your Birthday
present. Are you ready for some super sex?"
<br>
He replies, "Well, now that you ask... I think I'd
like the soup."
0 Comments, 33 Views,
19 Votes
,3.39 Score
|
|
The 10 most important people in a Women's life 11/26/2004
1. The doctor because he say's, "Take off your
clothes" 2. The dentist because he say's "Open
Wide" 3. The hairdresser because he say's "Do
you want it teased or blown" 4. The milkman because
he say's "Do you want it in the front or the back"
5. The Interior Decorator because he say's "Once
you have it all in, you'll love it" 6.The banker
because he say's, "If you take it out you'll
lose ...
1 Comments, 52 Views,
31 Votes
,5.64 Score
|
|
Long but funny (if you're not a cop) 11/25/2004
A guy is driving down a long country lane at 100mph, a police
officer is at the side of the road with a radar gun and catches
the guy speeding, he follows and signals the guy to stop.
When he gets over to the car he asks the guy why he was speeding,
the man replies that he'd been fishing all day and he'd lost
track of time and if he didn't get home soon his wife would
staple his balls to ...
1 Comments, 13 Views,
4 Votes
,5.57 Score
|
|
Huh. 11/25/2004
There was a class and each student had to go up to the front
of the
class and say a sentence using one of their spelling words.
First
Juan goes up and his word was love so he says, "Sara
says she loves
me". Then it's Chase's turn and his word
is hate. So he goes up and
says, "Sara says she hates me". Then it's
Chris's turn and his word
is dictate. So he goes up to the frount ...
1 Comments, 10 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
|
|
I was crying by the end 11/24/2004
> >>If you can read this whole story without laughing
then there's no
hope
> >>for you. I was crying by the end.
> >> > > >
> >>Note: Please take time to read this slowly.
If you pay attention to
> >>the first two judges, the reaction of the
third judge is even
better.
> >>For those of you who have lived in Texas, ...
0 Comments, 37 Views,
17 Votes
,4.96 Score
|
|
A Definition about what a Gay AOL member is all about 11/15/2004
A Definition about what a Gay Aol'er is all about
<br>
Basic Facts - The defining key words
<br>
TOTALLY TOP
1) I have masculinity and control issues 2) I'm ugly
and since most gay men are bottoms, I can hopefully get laid
this way.
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
TOTALLY BOTTOM
1) I'm selfish and lazy. 2) I was never properly toilet
trained. 3) ...
0 Comments, 107 Views,
13 Votes
,2.98 Score
|
|
what do Michael Jackson and Wall-Mart have in common 11/10/2004
(Q) WHAT DO MICHAEL JACKSON AND WALL-MART HAVE IN COMMON?
<br>
(A) THEY BOTH HAVE BOY'S UNDERWEAR HALF OFF
0 Comments, 3 Views,
18 Votes
,4.90 Score
|
|
The Good Excuse. 11/3/2004
A man goes to work one morning, only to find that his secretary
is sick so he calls the secretary pool to get another one
for the day. A little while later, in walks a pretty blonde
with huge tits, he smiles to himself then proceeds with
the business of the day.
<br>
After a long day of work, he was feeling bad for keeping her
late, so he offered to take her to dinner. At ...
2 Comments, 114 Views,
25 Votes
,7.23 Score
|
|
How to keep a woman happy 11/1/2004
It's not difficult. To make a woman happy a man only
needs to be:
<br>
A friend
<br>
A companion
<br>
A lover
<br>
A brother
<br>
A father
<br>
A master
<br>
A chef
<br>
An electrician
<br>
A carpenter
<br>
A plumber
<br>
A mechanic
<br>
A decorator
<br>
A stylist
...
0 Comments, 9 Views,
19 Votes
,5.23 Score
|
|
Cabbie pics up a nun 10/28/2004
A cabbie picks up a Nun.
<br>
She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop
staring at her.
<br>
She asks him why is he staring.
He replies, "I have a question to ask you, but I don't
want to offend you." She answers, "My , you cannot offend me. When you
are as old as I am and have been a Nun as long as I have, you get
a chance to see and hear just about ...
2 Comments, 620 Views,
89 Votes
,7.44 Score
|
|
A bear and ... 10/26/2004
A bear and a rabbit was takin' a shit in da woods, then
the bear turned to the rabbit and asked:
"Hey rabbit, d'you mind if shit is sticking to
ya fur??"
The rabbit looked at the bear and said:
"Ummm....no....not really.."
<br>
And then....the bear....wiped his ass with the RABBIT!!
;o)
0 Comments, 5 Views,
7 Votes
|
|
Degenerate Dictionary 10/24/2004
3-Eyed Turtle
Basically plug every orifice of a girl in the following
manner: thumb in ass, fingers in pussy, and dick in mouth.
<br>
3-Way Lunch
Anytime you got three women laid out on your bed begging
for some hot muff action. Happens all the time to men in the
Miami club scene. Requires much patience.
<br>
6 Pack
Have that bitch stand on her head, and stick your ...
3 Comments, 296 Views,
24 Votes
,4.38 Score
|
|
what's wrinkled and rides a ? 10/24/2004
the lone prune.
0 Comments, 53 Views,
2 Votes
,0.34 Score
|
|
daddy why? 10/11/2004
i father and his go fishing
as they are fishing the dad lights up a cig
his asks daddy can i try to smoke to
NO you're to young
why daddy
does your dick reach your asshole
no
then you're not old enough
then the dad opens a beer
the asks dad can i try the beer
NO you're to young
why daddy
does your dick reach your asshole
no
then you're not old enough
on the way home they ...
2 Comments, 49 Views,
5 Votes
,5.10 Score
|
|
Hookers and Lawyers 10/7/2004
Q: What are the two main differences between hookers and
lawyers?
1: There some things hookers will not do no matter how much
you pay them.
2: Hookers stop screwing their when they die.
1 Comments, 17 Views,
2 Votes
,1.04 Score
|
|
the lone ranger and tonto 6/18/2004
the Lone Ranger and his faithful Indian companion Tonto
were out riding range one day when the Indian jumped down
off his and put his ear to the ground and said Ugh, Kimosabe,
buffalo come!! The lone Ranger looked with amazement and
said, "Thats incredible Tonto, how'd you know
that?" the Indian replied---"My ear's
all sticky!!"
0 Comments, 104 Views,
18 Votes
,2.58 Score
|
|
courious old man 1/17/2004
one day an eldery man was sitting on a park bench when a young
came up and sat down next to him, the eldery man
glanced over to notice the youngsters hair, it was multi-colored,
it was orange, red , blue, green, and yellow, the eldery
man kept staring at the youngsters hair. finally the youngster
got alittle aggrevated at the old mans staring and turned
to him and said "Look old man didn't ...
1 Comments, 37 Views,
0 Votes
|
|
getting even 12/19/2003
I was talking to one of my coworkers and our sexual preferences,
and she told me about this one man she used to work with. On
the day he quit he told his boss that he had slept with his
. His boss got furious. Then he said, your was
better
1 Comments, 117 Views,
8 Votes
,0.93 Score
|
|
Attitude 12/8/2003
A husband to be is walking with his father a few weeks before
the wedding... His dad tells him you have to be sure to
put your wife in her place now a days... He tells his on
your wedding night I want to take off your pants and hand
them to your wife, have her put them on... When she complains
they dont fit tell her thats right you are the man and you
wear the pants in the family, that ...
4 Comments, 785 Views,
99 Votes
,7.49 Score
|
|
THE PASTOR AND THE SONUVABITCH 11/13/2003
One day a local man asks the pastor to go fishing with him.Off
they go and its not long before the pastor hooks a big one.As
their landing it the dude exclaims "look at the size
of that of a bitch" Startled, the pastor lets out
a grunt of disaproval, the dude quickly covers his ass
by explaining thats what kind of fish it is, a "sonuvabitch".
The pastor takes the fish back to the church ...
1 Comments, 35 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
|
|
Viagra variations 9/30/2003
With VIAGRA such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole
line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance
of men in today's society..
<br>
DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving
on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions
when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.
<br>
PROJECTRA - Men given this ...
1 Comments, 54 Views,
7 Votes
,3.04 Score
|
|
Truck Driver 3/7/2003
A truck driver walked into a house in Vegas , he put
$1000.00 down and told the madam he wanted a meanest, nastyest
fatest , in the place, the madan said mister for a thousand
you can have the best looking woman in the house, he said
mam you dont understand im not horny im homesick!!
1 Comments, 97 Views,
87 Votes
,7.26 Score
|
|
threes guys and a mormon 5/4/2000
Three guys and a mormon were standing around talking one day and the
first guy says , "I have 4 , one more and I'll have a basketball
team," the second guy says so.. "I have 8 , one more and I'll have
a baseball team,".. The third guy says, "SO I have 11 , one more
and I'll have a footbal team"... The mormon laughing says thats
nothing.."I've got 17 wives, one more and I'll have a ...
3 Comments, 134 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
|
|
Jokes for U 6/23/1999
Joke#1
An old man went to his doctor and complained that he had toilet problems
'Well, let's see', said the doctor,'How is your urination?'
'Every morning at seven o'clock on the dot'.
'Good. How about your bowel movements ? '
'Eight o'clock each morning as regular as could be'
'So what's the problem?' asked the Doctor.
'I don't wake up until nine!'
Joke#2
A big game hunter was engaged by a ...
3 Comments, 139 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
|
