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CHEAP SUNGLASSES
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Posted:May 8, 2010 12:08 pm
Last Updated:Jun 3, 2010 2:14 pm
16105 Views
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The other day it was a bright, sunny, beautiful day here and I grabbed my cheap and gaudy white sunglasses (my favorite ones)as I headed out the door to work.
As I climbed into Eggbert (my car) and took off my eyes felt funny, like making me a lil dizzy or feeling like I was looking cross-eyed.
I took off the sunglasses, cleaned the lens of the left eye which was the one that felt "funny", put them back on and continued on my merry way.
Had to stop at the gas station and feed Eggbert again. Ya know, I noticed a few people looking in my direction and wondered hmmmmmm......."whats up?" I used to get looks when I was driving my last car, the Monte........it was a sexy nice car. But I am usually invisible in Eggbert.
Well, after paying for the gas I continued to work, put my glasses on top of my head, went in and did my work, finished all my work and started out for home.
Walking out of the dim, dank bar into the sunshine was an assault on my eyes. As soon as I pulled the sunglasses back down they felt messed up again and I got frustrated. I yanked the glasses off to look at them.............................
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OMG!
There was only one lens in the damn sunglasses!
I drove around all day with them like that, I must have looked like a complete idiot! How could I not notice that? I took them off and cleaned that ONE lens............Guess that explains the "looks" at the gas station, eh? 
I am such a nerd. 
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Tulip Time 2010
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Posted:May 6, 2010 12:17 pm
Last Updated:May 21, 2010 8:45 pm
14665 Views
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The local festival called "Tulip Time" is in full swing here. Even after all the years I have lived here it continues to amaze me that people will travel miles upon miles to attend a festival celebrating........a flower!
Ok, Ok, Ok.........so we have thousands and thousands of those flowers, but I am still fascinated and amused by the thought process I imagine people going through as they make plans to attend the festival:
Maude:Honey, I wants go see them there Toooolips they got up north in Meeshegan.
Dexter:Tooooolips? You want me to drive the jalopy all the way to Meeshegan to take a gander at Toooooooolips?
Maude: But they're boootiful Dexter and I wants to see em!
Dexter: Maude, we gots purty yeller flowers all throughout the holler just look out yonder winder.
Maude: But honey......they gots all kind of food booths there too. Cotton candy, elephant ears, funnel cakes, and deep fried everything! Sheet! I even heard they gots deep fried twinkies! They's high class all the way up north in Meeshiegan.
Dexter: Git yer big butt in da car Maude we be headin' north!
I'm starting to see how we Michiganders are the second fattest state in the US. There are enough food booths set up here to feed a starving third world country. All healthy choices too......
Deep fried twinkies?
Really?
Who thinks of these things? LMAO
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Just Sayin'
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Posted:Apr 22, 2010 8:56 pm
Last Updated:Sep 7, 2011 10:37 pm
16483 Views
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My other half and I are currently sharing one vehicle.......Eggbert is back.......and I gotta tell you I am less than impressed!
The WORSE half works ridiculously early in the morning so I get up at 4:45 a.m. and drive him to work, then it's back home for a bit. Next I drive myself to work, then it's time to get the old man. Aaaaaaarrrrrgggggggg!!!!!!
I came up with a lil catch phrase that sums it up quite nicely. Remember that commercial a while back where the poor guy is always getting up to make the Dunkin Donuts...............he'd say "time to make the donuts"..........................
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I say:
"Time to go get numb nuts!"
Just sayin'
Pic is our .......see, he did at least one good thing! LOL
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Already..........Really?
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Posted:Apr 9, 2010 8:52 pm
Last Updated:Apr 22, 2010 8:58 pm
17565 Views
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LMAO
Murphy must be back..............
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My new job may already be over y'all.
The big wigs held a meeting the other day and decided to shut the club down. INDEFINITELY!
The guy who trained me was out of state so he called me and asked me to go hang up signs stating we were closed until further notice. He was hoping it would be three days but it will be at least a week best case scenario. Worst case scenario we will never open back up again. 
Today in the paper there was an article regarding this situation on the front page! (perhaps it was a slow news day, eh?) The club has had some issues in the past and were shut down for three days. Last year there was another issue and they were threatened with losing their liquor license. Now with the recent physical attack on Toad, and the liquor license due to expire the end of this month.........they say it remains undetermined as to whether or not we ever re-open.
This could be one of my shortest jobs ever! LOL
What is the shortest job you ever had?
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Ytailer Towne Nicknames
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Posted:Apr 3, 2010 10:48 pm
Last Updated:Sep 7, 2011 10:42 pm
18397 Views
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I love to write about the colorful characters out here in good ole Trailer Towne but in the interest of protecting the guilty and keeping anonymity I have used only nicknames. A few people have gotten a giggle or two from some of those names and I have had several questions regarding how the nicknames came about.
"Ziggy" closely resembles the face on ZigZag rolling paper packs plus partakes of the herb like a fiend. I did in fact, not even know his real name for the first six years after I met him.
"Doug The Bug" has some issues (who of us doesn't, eh?) not to mention it is kinda cute how it rhymes.
"Doug The Half Bug" was the second person of that name, also with issues, but not as severe as "Doug The Bug's" issues plus there had to be a way to differentiate them.
"Bobby Buttlicker" was involved in a game of Euchre with myself, the old man, and "Bob Springer" aka "Drunkbob Pisspants" and I had to have a way to communicate with my partner without confusing him with the other Bob and in the state of mind I was in that was the best I could come up with. Now the fact that it irritates him immensely is just an added bonus! 
"Bipolar Girl" announced that she was bi-polar, off her meds, AND drinking the first night I met her......nuff said. Oh wait....... not it isn't.......she grabbed my hair in both hands pulling it quite hard at the end of the night and said "Did your mother ever grab you and yell: you damn you?" After I extricated my hair from her grip with the assistance of Toad and Bobby Buttlicker I said "No, my mommy loved me!" and promptly left.
Crazy Ron" is ........well, crazy! Once again there is more than one person with that name so there has to be a distinction. Am I sure "Crazy Ron" is crazy? Yes I am! LMAO One day when I was taking a walk with my boyfriend he said "Looks like Ron is getting him a little" to which I responded in a smart-ass tone "how would you know that?" at the same time glancing in the direction my boyfriend was looking. I screamed! "OH MY GOD!" which caught ole Ron's attention and he looked out the window catching me standing there and staring. He was completely naked, having sex in the front bedroom which had NO curtains on the windows!
"Toad" got his nickname after I wrote his real name on one of the headstones in my fake cemetery I assemble in my yard near Halloween (my fave holiday). He then proceeded to have a heart attack the day before Halloween. They saved his life with emergency surgery placing 2 stents. He died on the table twice but was revived. I went directly out with a marker and changed the name on the headstone to "Toad".
Do y'all think I am crazy?   
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What Have I gotten Myself Into?
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Posted:Apr 1, 2010 6:31 pm
Last Updated:Apr 9, 2010 2:43 pm
12950 Views
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Well, my new job has turned out to be quite the interesting trip! Who would have thought a secretary job could be considered "exciting". 
My buddy Toad, who helped me get this job, holds a position at the club. The club has had some issues in the past. Some of those issues came blazing to the forefront in the second week of my employment.
A disgruntled former employee showed up just before closing time and an ugly confrontation occurred. Toad got the short end of the stick.
After a short verbal disagreement, the disgruntled one sucker punched Toad in the face knocking him out cold! The crazy guy then proceeded to start stomping and kicking Toad in the head
and face. Blood was everywhere!
It took three burly biker types to pull him off putting an end to the brutality. An ambulance had to be called and Toad was pretty fucked up. Yeah, that's a technical medical term y'all. He has two VERY black (more like purple) eyes, several cuts that required stitches, and multiple facial fractures.
Can't help but wonder what I have gotten myself into. Hmmmmmmm.............
There has been talk of more people on the disgruntled one's shit list including the man who is training me. I warned him that if anyone comes in the office looking for him - I am taking off immediately! LMAO!
Purple is a lover not a fighter! 
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10
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Old Folk's Humor
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Posted:Mar 27, 2010 7:21 pm
Last Updated:Sep 7, 2011 10:43 pm
13144 Views
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My daddy's brother passed away this past week and the funeral was today. Normally I hate going to funerals but when they are for the elderly who have lived a full life it is not nearly so bad and my uncle was 84 years old.
The services were nice and afterwards there was a luncheon in the basement of the church. I attended the luncheon with my folks and saw relatives I hadn't seen in years!
I was commenting on the food served as being very salty, it was the usual fare for these events: cold cut sandwiches, cheese slices, macaroni salad, veggies and dip, chips, and cookies. That's when my mom told me a lil story regarding these spreads.
The ladies of the church who host these events are called "The Basement Ladies" and when they are hosting a luncheon for a funeral it is called a "Dead Spread".
Yes, I nearly spit my water everywhere!
Thank heavens I was only nibbling on some veggies since the other food was all on my "banned" list cuz that would have ruined my appetite! LMAO
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Does It Ever End?
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Posted:Feb 26, 2010 11:13 pm
Last Updated:Apr 3, 2010 12:36 pm
18479 Views
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This whole "sickness" thing is getting pretty carried away. I have been so very tired, sleeping like 12 hours/day and major shortness of breath so of course I was concerned about all the recent heart issues........
The heart is doing fairly well. Thats the good news.
The bad news is I just got referred to a pulmonologist and have been diagnosed with Sleep Apnea, Restrictive Lung Disease, and COPD.
Are you even kidding me? I have never smoked.
Three more medications added to the ever growing list bringing the total to twelve. Thats just wrong!
Landed in the ER the day before my birthday (Sunday) with low Potassium - AGAIN, heart palpitations and that terrible shortness of breath. They did a CT scan looking for a blood clot in the lungs which thank heavens didn't exist. They DID, however, find a tumor on my left adrenal gland.
One to four percent of the population gets them and 80% are non cancerous and non secreting (hormones) so with my symptoms I have to get further testing to see if mine is secreting hormones willy nilly wreaking havoc on my system.
Who hates me?
Don't answer that......I don't wanna antagonize Murphy!
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