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Some steamy stories of what I have done and/or would like to do
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Halloween Humor
Posted:Oct 7, 2011 10:33 am
Last Updated:Nov 7, 2011 10:07 am
16785 Views


You ever wonder where pumpkin pie came from?

Well, now ya know!
28 Comments   (Page:)
Half Nekkid Wednesday - Autumn Edition
Posted:Oct 5, 2011 9:37 am
Last Updated:Nov 4, 2011 4:50 pm
22164 Views

Fall is my favorite season of the year......luv the Autumn theme for HNW this week.......

[image]

Happy HNW y'all
54 Comments   (Page:)
The Meat Man
Posted:Oct 3, 2011 9:04 pm
Last Updated:Nov 8, 2011 12:19 pm
17502 Views
The other day I was sitting watching TV (I do far too much of that LO when I couldn't help but notice a truck go by very slowly......with a freezer in the back.....that can only mean one thing out here in Trailer Towne

No! It does not mean Insane Shane went off and killed somebody and is driving around with the body parts in a freezer.

It means the "Meat Man" is making his rounds again.

So, we flagged him down and made his job damn easy - we bought a case of steak and a case of chicken. This was a new driver as we hadn't seen the last guy in several years. A little back story on the last guy was he was a shameless flirt which irritated the other half.

This new driver was staring at me.........

After an awkward moment he says "I know where I know you from"

I was dying of suspense for what he was gonna say......my idiot brother was staring at me thinking what has she done while the other half was staring at the "Meat Man" and I was thinking this could end poorly......

He says "you used to live in those apartments on such and such street - right?"

Whew!

No, I have been a resident of Trailer Towne pretty much my entire adult life. So anyway, the new "Meat Man", Jay, gives me his card and says I can call him for all my meat needs.

37 Comments   (Page:)
Sex after 40
Posted:Sep 30, 2011 4:52 pm
Last Updated:Nov 8, 2011 11:58 am
18471 Views
Last night I was feeling pretty darn frisky so when the other half got ready for bed I damn near ambushed him!

I wrapped my arms around his neck a layed a passionate kiss on him running my fingers down the small of his back in a circular motion and grinding against him. He responded instantly grabbing a handful of my hair and pulling me closer to him while kissing me back.

He paused a second to nibble on my ear and lay a trail of soft kisses down my throat......our breathing became faster and our actions more frantic.....

I fumbled with the zipper of his jeans releasing his rock hard cock. He practically ripped my shirt off and fumbled with the always complicated bra - I helped him remove it.

He cupped my eager breasts in his hands as he tweaked the nipples with his thumbs and an excited moan escaped my lips.....

Then he suddenly all but dropped those puppies to the floor and jumped back with a quizzical look on his face. Confused I looked down at my own boobs.............and started laughing hysterically!

There attatched firmly to each now hard nipple were the stickers from my mammogram I had earlier in the day.

Laughter is not exactly good foreplay and "Lil Pete" (what he calls his cock of course) went from full on hard to limp noodle in two seconds flat!

Really?

I said fuck it, put on my duckbilled platypus (C-PAP mask) and called it a night......sexy!

Y'all gettin' any?

42 Comments   (Page:)
Half Me Wednesday - Sports Edition
Posted:Sep 28, 2011 2:30 pm
Last Updated:Oct 9, 2011 5:46 pm
17478 Views
Here is my "Half Me Wednesday - Sports Edition" () She was up for a week long visit from Florida and I couldn't resist a play on HNW.....



P.S. I have her permission.....and she is 27 years old!
36 Comments   (Page:)
The Collection
Posted:Sep 26, 2011 8:21 pm
Last Updated:Aug 16, 2013 9:30 pm
18128 Views
My best friend just added to my shot glass collection (we all have our vices, eh?) Her hubby is a trucker and picks me up new ones here and there when he is on the road. Yeah, he's a sweetie. Yeah, she is too!

Well, the newest one had me cracking up pretty good - here's what it says:

I SWEAR TO DRUNK OFFICER I AM NOT GOD!

They knew me so well.......aaahhhhhhh, the good ole days!

What do you collect?

33 Comments   (Page:)
The Trials and Tribulations of Trailer Towne
Posted:Sep 23, 2011 2:39 pm
Last Updated:May 3, 2012 5:51 pm
15681 Views
My best friend's lived out here in Trailer Towne till recently and he posted something on a certain social network that had me laughing so hard I almost peed my pants - I mean it was close!

OK.....I will call best friend's XXX He is young, 21 years old so I guess I will have to cut him some slack......LOL
Here is his post in all it's glory:

Just helped some old lady who had no legs in her car, she was drunk and had ran out of gas a 1/4 mile from the trailer park so i drove all the way to meijer gas station and put 1 gallon of MY MONEY into HER gas tank. and it was 4:30 in the morning. my good deed of the week is done

Here were the responses he got:

Paco Angel: of the week? dude that should cover a fucking year... *thumbs up*

Trevor: damn Kody, keep this stuff up and you'll end up being a recognized humanitarian!

David: So, let me get this straight...you enabled a drunk to drive, and you think you did a good thing?! I'm not sure I should laugh or cry. You are such a martyr, Kody!

Cameron: u should get a standing round of applause, well execpt from her she can remain seated

Judy: David, thats what i was thinking lol WTH?? u should have just brought her home lol

Debbie: Karma just got upgraded

XXX: David- she was like a quarter mile from home and i couldnt drive her home cuz i dont have room in my back seat and she was a big lady

Timothy: Damn, i'm turning into an evil bastard. I thought that all that was a build up for a ground beef joke or you were going to tell her to hoof it.

Nikki: ummm a few questions 1. how was a lady with no legs driving??lol and 2. if she was drunk why would you let her drive home!!!!...especially being drunk with NO LEGS!!! very nice of you and the thoughts though

XXX: if you have no legs and need to drive you get almost like a joystick for a video game and she was like a quarter mile from home thats why i let her drive

Purpletrashcan: ROFLMFAO


23 Comments
Half Nekkid Wednesday #6
Posted:Sep 21, 2011 6:39 am
Last Updated:Nov 8, 2011 11:52 am
21173 Views
Woot Woot!

It's Half Nekkid Wednesday again



Well, it's half a leg - best I could do today LOL
47 Comments   (Page:)
Sneaky and On The Sly
Posted:Sep 19, 2011 10:49 am
Last Updated:Nov 8, 2011 11:51 am
16058 Views
Y'all can file this under "useless information" but purp felt that she should share it with ya anyway......

When it is required to be sneaky and on the sly to do something you are NOT supposed to.........do NOT I repeat - NOT do it at a place where people "know" you......in front of witnesses!

Purp had a hankering for some Hot and Sour Soup - and nothing else but Hot and Sour Soup. The dilemma was that my other half was with me and he fancies himself the food police. No, he really does.

With reckless abandon I pulled into my fave place for said Hot and Sour Soup......C'mon people, they don't have it setting around in a soup kettle - they make to order

I told the other half that since I was allowed up to 1800 mg of sodium per day, who cares if it is all in one bowl or spread out over many items.....yeah, he looked skeptical. I said "look honey, I hardly ever eat what I am not supposed to......gotta live a little, eh?"

By then it was our turn at the counter and the guy says "Hot and Sour Soupwith no pork, right?"



Busted!

I turned to my other half and said "you can tell me I can't have this damn Hot and Sour Soup the minute you stop smoking!"
35 Comments   (Page:)
Soap Opera Time
Posted:Sep 17, 2011 2:23 pm
Last Updated:Sep 19, 2011 7:28 pm
16610 Views
I am so easily amused........no kidding - I should probably be ashamed of myself - but I'm not!

My bestest nest friend in prison paroled out this year (finally) as did my idiot brother. Perhaps their newly found freedom is a bit overwhelming.........perhaps the fact they went to prison in the first place is a lil indicative of their personalities and or nature.............who knows - but they lead some interesting lives.

Earlier this year purp was FREAKING when ABC announced they were discontinuing the long running soap opera's of "All My " and "One Life To Live". Watched them since I was 16 years old.........

Time has calmed ole purp down somewhat and then it dawned on me......purp don't need no stinkin' soap! Who needs a network soap when they have "The Trials And Tribulations Of Trailer Towne" as well as the ongoing saga of the parolees.......?

My idiot brother spends his time wallowing in the mire of the world of ........no really......his best friend (maybe only) turns tricks for a living, dates a married man, dabbles in stupidity.......the things he tells me would make your hair curl! On a recent adventure they booked a lil too nasty of a motel room apparently and a critter of some sort bit him on the knee........................

It started out as a small raised red area with two puncture marks in the center surrounded by a larger area of red swollen skin - no big deal, eh? Wrong! He ended up in the emergency room to have it lanced, treated with antibiotics etc.......it opened to a gaping, weeping wound the size of a quarter surrounded by an angry red swollen area the size of a softball and his leg was red and nasty loking from ankle to hip! amp;

He stayed here for a couple of days during his recovery and I actually nearly got sick when he was messing with it......all his skin came off around the entire knee area and he said he was "lactating" from his "kneeple" amp;

Purp is currently gathering intel on the characters of the other saga involving the bestest best friend......storyline to follow soon...... (what? Purp has no life of her own.......)

23 Comments
The Trials And Tribulations Of Trailer Towne
Posted:Sep 15, 2011 9:58 pm
Last Updated:Sep 17, 2011 11:10 pm
15324 Views
Trailer Towne continues on it's crazy path.....path to where? Who the fuck knows - but I bet it's crazy there!

Insane Shane was mowing my grass the other day.......what?

NO!

That was not a euphamysm for anything sexual you dirty minded freak shows! He was literally mowing my lawn (one of my restrictions I don't mind is NO mowing)when suddenly he appeared to be break dancing.

A snake was by the tree and slithered under purp's deck. Did I mention how much I HATE snakes? Insane Shane says it was just a garden snake - not the elusive Michigan rattler supposedly spotted in the neighbors yard.

When he got home from work my highly intelligent other half had to mess with said snake (it's his duty) He got it out into the front yard from under the deck and was trying to grab it. I don't know why.......he's highly intelligent? Well, the damn snake is like lunging at the man and looking pissed as hell. He snatched it up and it bit him - twice! Finally he dropped the stupid thing and it slithered off to parts unknown......he said it was a Blue Racer. I am gonna have to google that!

Around the corner at Beer Gut's place, his newest neighbor just up and walked into his house and announced "Those are my slippers - and I want em back!"

Beer Gut was confused at first but when she started with the crazy looks and walking further into the house he had to literally push her out the door. She wandered a few places down to the Harley hotties place and climbed onto his bike and started messing around like she was riding it saying "Oh yeah, this is my sweet bike"!

The ambulance came and took her to One North (psych ward at local hospital).................

She'll be back.

They always come back

*Pic is me a LONG time ago.....

27 Comments   (Page:)
Half Nekkid Wednesday #5
Posted:Sep 13, 2011 9:39 pm
Last Updated:Mar 4, 2012 12:43 pm
23747 Views

[image]Here's hoping y'all have a fabulous humpday........Happy HNW

Go big bootie!
69 Comments   (Page:)
My Idiot Brother
Posted:Sep 12, 2011 8:14 pm
Last Updated:Sep 15, 2011 8:56 pm
17872 Views
Now this is a disclaimer for the following story - it takes place in the past - before ole purp quit drinking..... OK, sit back and enjoy.

My idiot brother wanted to go camping with me and begged and bugged me till I finally caved in and let him come with us one particular weekend. The following is proof of what a HUGE mistake that turned out to be.

Shortly into day one of the camping trip the group ran out of liquor. Say it isn't so! Well, idiot brother and I got volunteered to gather supplies - we were way out in the boonies at a "rustic" campground and had to drive a ways to the closest hick town party store.

The minute we entered the store my idiot brother initiates the following conversation:

Idiot Brother:This is my sister, she's a serial killer wanted in West Virginia and Kentucky.

Purp: Shut up idiot!

Clerk:Looks slightly concerned about what morons are in his store.....

Idiot Brother: We need Captain Morgan, Castillo Silver, Hot Damn, and a 12 pack of Bud Light.

Purp: Hey, idiot, don't forget the whipped cream!

Idiot Brother: How big of a container sis? How much ya gonna lick off me?

We were gonna make strawberry shortcake ya sick freaks!

Clerk: Stifles a giggle while still looking a bit nervous and packaging our supplies - I think he was happy when we left.

Purp: Shut up idiot!

As we exit the store my drunk idiot brother tripped over the door sill and stumbled to the car as I loaded our supplies and the local police drive by.......and slow way down to get a good luck.......and then follow us for several miles untill apparently satisfied that I am not a threat of some sort.

Back at the campsite the next day idiot brother paid no attention to us when we suggested he not drink directly from the beer bottle, but rather put it in a plastic cup. Just as he was tipping a beer the cops drove through and ole idiot brother thought he was ao slick as he set the beer down behind a tree.....the officer asked him what he was hiding, made him dump out all his beer and wrote him a ticket. Thats when idiot brother said "then you should arrest my sister too - she defaced public property!" and pointed to where I had spray painted the horseshoes a brighter color so we would quit losing them in the brush. They were leaning against a tree and so there was paint on the tree too.....

The cops started laughing pretty hard as I shot idiot brother the dirtiest looks I could.

That beer cost idiot brother $125 in a ticket and I have NEVER taken him camping with me again.

Ya can't choose your family.

28 Comments   (Page:)

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