JOKES for the men and women
|
Posted:Feb 21, 2007 5:08 pm
Last Updated:May 26, 2008 9:14 pm
4722 Views
|
A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterward, the doctor comes in.
He says, "I have to tell you something about your baby."
The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby, doctor?" The doctor says, "Well now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different.
Your baby is a hermaphrodite. " The woman says, "A hermaphrodite? What's that?" The doctor says, "Well, it means your baby has the
features of a male and a female."
The woman turns pale.
She says, "Oh, my god! You mean it has a penis AND a brain?"
============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
Question: What is the difference between men and women?
Answer: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
       
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
A Night To Remember
|
Posted:Feb 21, 2007 12:37 am
Last Updated:Oct 5, 2008 10:48 am
4683 Views
|
The night started out uneventful for Sara. She was thinking that it was just going to be another boring night alone. She was on her computer flirting with one of her friends, when without warning it turned serious. He asked if he could come over to see her. She thought why not this could be fun. She told him to come. He lived far enough away for her to get ready before he got to her house. As she showered then put on her black silk negligee, she thought of the night a head. For she had been with him before and know that it was going to be good. The excitement of the thought of him shot through her making her wish he would hurry and get there. So, she laid down on her bed to wait for him with the thoughts running through her head. Not even thinking about she starts to touch herself. First touching and pinching at her nipples that stood hard and erect for her. While one hand played with her nipple she moved her other hand down her body, heading for the place that needed the attention the most. As she touch her already wet pussy, amazed just the thoughts that went through her head was enough to cause her to be so wet. As she touched and rubbed her clit, feeling the sensation running through her was amazing. She continued touching, then she put one finger inside her and then another one, moving in and out. Using her thumb to continue to rub on her clit. The sensation flowed through her body, taking her mind to a place where she only felt the pleasure of what she was doing to herself, so she didn’t hear him knocking at first. Not until she came, and hard, and came back to the world.
She finally heard him knocking and went to the door to let him in. As he walked through the door, she grabbed his hand pulling him into her room. “Wow, hold on baby. What is the rush?” She laid on the bed, pulling her gown up. Teasing him, she said, “Come, take me.” He moved next to her kissing her, touching her. Hearing her moan, made him crazy. He wanted her, but he wanted to please her first, wanted to hear her moan some more. Pulling the straps down her arms to reveal her beautiful tits. He couldn’t wait to put his mouth on them, to suck on them, which is what he did. Her moans of pleasure tacked his body with a powerful pleasure of his own. Pushing the gown up and then off of her. He moved down, and touching her first with his hand. As he rubbed her clit, feeling how wet and ready she was for him. He went down on her, he wanted to taste her. He already known that she tasted good and want to taste more. She moaned as he moved down between her legs. First kissing one of her thighs and then kissing the other. Hearing her moan again he moved to where he knew she wanted him to be. Licking her clit, feeling her move with the sensation that cause her. He continue as he listen to her moans getting loud. He put a finger inside her as continued to lick her. Moving with her as moved against his finger. Knowing she was close to her releases now. And then there it was, he felt her release, felt her cum. And he was there to lick it up. As she laid there, still feeling the sensation running through her, he moved up to kisses her. She kissed him eagerly, tasting herself on him. Moving him to where he was lying on his back. Kissing down his neck, hearing the change in his breathing. Moving down light kissing and biting. Sucking on his nipple than lightly biting, hear him moan pushed her on down. Moving her hand down ahead of her mouth. Grabbing hold of his cock, moving her hand up and down. As she kissed her way down. Then she was there, ready to put her mouth around his cock, just what he wanted. But first she would tease him, licking around the top, and down the side. Licking his balls then back up to the top, licking some more. Hearing his moaning she wrapped her lip around taking him deep into her mouth. Then back up, grazing her teeth lightly along him. She continue sucking him this way, stopping only lick around the top, then continuing her work on him. Loving every moan that escaped him mouth. The moans pushing her on, until he stopped her knowing that she doesn’t want like to swallow, which was fine. He had other plans for her. He wanted to be inside her. He know how good she felt and didn’t want to wait any longer to put himself insider her sweet pussy. As he enter her he felt the sensation he had before. He said to her, “Oh, you feel so good.” She could not help but to say the same to him. He smiled at her. Moving slowly at first, but knowing that she wanted it fast and harder. But he didn’t want to cum to fast, so he moved slowly. Moving her legs to rest on his shoulders. Now moving into her harder, loving to hear her moan with each hard thrust. Then asking her what she wanted next. She smiled up at him and he known the answer to that. He moved back letting her move to her knees. He eagerly moved in behind her putting his cock back into her. Moving slow, teasing her. Wanting her to beg him to move faster and harder. But she was not ready to beg him yet, but she wanted more. She wanted to make him wait to hear her beg. She felt his nice big cock moving into her, moaning with each thrust. She moved with each of his thrust. The sensation racking through her body now. The moaning stopped and she started begging him. “Harder, please.” she begged him. “Would be my pleasure baby, but I want to hear it again, beg me again.” he told her. So, that is what she did, “Harder, please. Please baby.” she begged. After that please baby, he could no longer hold back. He started thrusting harder, and faster into her. The sensation was overwhelming, her head was swimming now. And he was thrusting so hard now she could barely stay up on her knees. He seemed to know that reaching up to her shoulder and grabbing hold. Which sent a fresh set of sensation right through her as he dug his nail into her shoulders. She was nearing her release and knew he was too. She could feel herself cumming all over him, as she felt his release shot into her. They fall next to each other breathing heavy. He pulled her into his arms, content to just holding her, until they were ready for another round…
By Rosebud
 |
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Baby Planes
|
Posted:Feb 20, 2007 7:45 am
Last Updated:May 26, 2008 9:19 pm
4534 Views
|
A mother and her young inquisitive were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago.
The (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?"
The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her to ask the flight attendant.
So the boy dutifully asked the flight attendant, "If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?"
The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"
The little boy admitted that she did.
"Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Now, let your mother explain that to you." 
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
Hospital Chart Bloopers
|
Posted:Feb 19, 2007 6:54 pm
Last Updated:May 26, 2008 9:19 pm
4584 Views
|
Actual writings from hospital charts:
1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
10 Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
1 3. Whil e in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Patient has two teenage , but no other abnormalities.
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Short and Funny
|
Posted:Feb 19, 2007 12:29 pm
Last Updated:May 26, 2008 9:20 pm
4660 Views
|
I dialed a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but
Thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the
Beep. If I do not return your call,
You are one of the changes."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I LOVE THIS NEXT ONE!
My wife and I had words,
But I didn't get to use mine.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blessed are those who can give without remembering
And take without forgetting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The irony of life is that, by the time
You're old enough to know your way
Around, you're not going anywhere.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
God made man before woman so as to give him time to think.
Of an answer for her first question.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was always taught to respect my elders,
But it keeps getting harder to find one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
SING IT GIRLS!!!
|
Posted:Feb 18, 2007 5:18 pm
Last Updated:Feb 11, 2009 5:27 pm
4540 Views
|
SING IT GIRLS!!! (maybe in your head,
if you are reading this at work!) Ready... set... go...
At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died! But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long, That I grew strong, And I
knew that I could take you on...
But there you are, another lie, I was ready
for a Big Mac and you've brought me a French Fry! I should have known that it was bullshit, just a sad pathetic dream,
Should have known there was no Anaconda lurking in those jeans!
Go on now - go, walk out the door, Don't
you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4! Weren't you a brat to think I wouldn't find you out!?
Don't you know we're only joking when we say size don't count??!!
[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries, My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex, with a handful of latex! I will survive! I will survive!
..Hey! Hey!
It took all my self control not to laugh
out loud, When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud!
But to hell with your ego and to hell with all your needs, Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed!
[Chorus]
I will survive! I will survive!
Cuz as long as I have batteries, My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex, With a handful of latex! I will survive! I will survive!
..Hey! Hey!
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
First Encounter
|
Posted:Feb 18, 2007 1:00 pm
Last Updated:Sep 30, 2008 10:57 pm
4987 Views
|
We met for the first time at Denny's. I was still a newbie to having an open relationship and had yet to meet anyone. Judy and I had only exchanged a couple of emails and perhaps we rushed meeting each other based on the convenience factor that I would be in her area. Knowing that meeting other people was a fickle science, I had made plans to meet three different women that weekend. My first date canceled on me, and my third date never confirmed our plans to meet. I called Judy after my first date had canceled and because she finished work early that day, we made plans for an early dinner. That's how we ended up at Denny's. I arrived late, having encountered rush hour traffic on a Friday evening. I had called Judy and left a message saying I was running late so she had gone home to freshen up. We arrived about the same time and greeted each other in the parking lot. She was very cute, about my height with an abundant, yet hourglass figure, brown hair, a smile that lit up her face, and deep crystal blue eyes that seemed to grab my very soul. But it was her soft, sensual lips that would be a distraction later during dinner. She kissed me on the cheek and we went in, hunger dictating our current course of action. It was a relaxed dinner in which we covered some basics; what we were going to school for, where we grew up, siblings, basic small talk. I was rapidly losing focus because all I wanted to do was kiss those lips of hers, having learned in an earlier email exchange that like me, she enjoyed kissing. I for one will never tire of making out with a good kisser and feel that I can make out with the best of them. However, being the newbie that I was, I was hesitant to push anything and managed to keep my desires in check. Fortunately though, I wasn't the only one who was feeling the need to explore lips. Judy looked at our half-finished meals and said, "Why don't we go somewhere a bit more private?" My pulse quickened and after a brief moment's hesitation I said, "Sure, where to?" She suggested we go to the parking lot and decide from there. We paid for our meal and headed to the parking lot, where she led me to her car and we sat in the first back seat of her mini-van. Then without warning she said, " I hope you don't mind but I want to kiss you," and with that she gently started to kiss me. I practically melted as our lips met and we started to explore each others mouths. I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and my body start to melt into hers. We broke apart and Judy said, "I usually don't do anything on the first date, especially with someone I don't know all that well, but you're different that anyone I've met and from the moment we met I wanted to kiss you. Now that I have kissed you, I want to explore more of you. Do you think we could do that? I know you don't usually do anything on the first date either, but I think the chemistry will be fantastic." I was stunned and started to blush. "Judy," I said, "I feel the same way but didn't know if you felt that way. I didn't want to push anything but knowing that we feel the same way, I see no reason why we can't explore each other." She kissed me again, long, slow, and passionate and said, "Let's get a room." We went to a Motel 6 around the corner and headed up to the room. "Mind if I change into something a bit more comfortable?" Judy asked. "Not at all," I replied. She went to the bathroom and I took my pants off and laid back on the bed. I gasped when she came out; she had on a dark blue corset that perfectly fit her and accentuated her gorgeous breasts. She wasn't wearing any panties and I could see her shaved pussy, glistening with a hint of arousal. My own hard-on must have been apparent as she said in a teasing tone, "Oh it looks like someone is trying to get free!" With that she seductively crawled her way into bed with me and once again planted her sensual lips on mine, easily melding her soft body with mine. I could taste a slight hint of fruit on her lips and when her tongue darted in and out of my mouth, I knew she was as eager as I was to have her mouth all over my cock. She helped me out of my shirt and began to kiss her way down my chest, teasing my nipples with her tongue and nibbling them, sending electric pulses through my body. She continued her way down, getting to my straining bulge and nuzzling my cock through the fabric of my tighty whites. She purred," I wonder if I should release him?" and all I could do was moan and look pleadingly at her, acknowledging with my eyes that she was in control and free to take me any way she pleased. She pulled my chonies off and my cock sprang to attention, upright and ready for action. She kissed her way up my thighs and fondled my nut sack, making me harder still. She looked at me as she grabbed my shaft with her hand and still staring into my eyes, took the head into her warm, wet mouth. I thought I was going to explode right there, waves of intense sensations radiating from my cock head. She looked at me with those blue eyes and ever so slowly took my rigid penis into her mouth until she hit the base. She had deep throated me without breaking a sweat! It was right about then that I knew I was in for the ride of my life with her. This girl clearly knew what she was doing and she was good! She worked my cock over, coating it with her saliva and using her tongue to create different sensations. Most of the time she looked at me as she sucked up and down my shaft, delighting in my reactions and my squirming. She was going to drive me over the edge with her talented mouth and that would have been more than enough but then she started to massage my balls again and began to tease my perineal area with her fingers. I thought I was going to pass out from over-stimulation and moaned, begging her to stop, but she shook her head no, not losing her rhythm as she milked my engorged cock. Soon I felt the beginning of my orgasm and she must have sensed it too, as right at that moment she squeezed my testicles and as I exploded into her mouth she kept sucking and squeezing, completely driving me over the edge as I screamed, "I'm cumming!" She swallowed all my cum, the first girl who had ever sucked me to completion, and she kept sucking my cock, even after I had stopped spewing baby batter. She licked me clean, even licking my slit with her tongue to get every drop before working her way back up to kiss me, her lips salty with my cum. She collapsed in my arms, her head resting on my chest and she said, "That was delicious!" I replied, "That was out of this world! No one has ever done that to me. Let me return the favor!"
Judy laid back on the bed, spread her thighs, and pulled her hefty breasts out of her corset and started playing with her nipples. I admired her freshly shaved pussy and then started to kiss her thighs, working my way to her glistening slit. I paused before gently licking her pussy, starting from the bottom and working my way up. She shivered and moaned and I continued licking, applying slightly more pressure with each pass. Then I pushed my tongue in her slit and she arched her back to meet my tongue. I could feel her pussy muscles tighten around my tongue and marveled at her control. She whispered, "Suck my clit," and I did as she asked, working my way to her pleasure button. I could feel her swollen nub and teased it with my tongue and gently nibbled on it, slipping a finger into her soaking wet pussy. Her pussy easily accommodated my finger so I slid another and then another until my amazement, I was starting to fist her. This really turned me on, as I had never been with a woman who enjoyed fisting. And Judy REALLY enjoyed it! She moaned loudly and met my thrusting hand, making it hard to keep my mouth on her clit. I finally gave up and sat up, my fist still inside her, and using my other hand, started to play with her clit. I could tell a massive orgasm was on its way but I wasn't prepared for what happened next. Judy screamed, "I'm cumming!" and I felt her pussy muscles clamp down hard on my hand, her body awash with waves of pleasure. Then she started squirting, HARD! She sprayed my chest with her girl juices, COMPLETELY soaking me AND the bed. I exclaimed, "You never told me you were a squirter! I love it!" I withdrew my hand from her core and licked my hand clean; Judy tasted so sweet. I made my way to her and kissed her again and she whispered, "That was the best anyone has ever fisted me...you can fist me any time!" I replied, "Maybe we could do that again in awhile but are you up for more right now?" "Oh yes!" and with that she pushed me back on the bed, unhooked her corset and tossed it on the floor, then went down on me like a girl who hadn't had her fill of man-meat. I could feel her tongue working her magic and soon she had me hard in her mouth, slick and eager to feel her. I didn't have to wait long as she straddled me and slid on my cock, clenching me with her pussy muscles. I moaned and she smiled as she began to ride me, every stroke heaven. She was soaking my cock and I could feel her juices running down all over me. I was loving every minute of it, her breasts bouncing in rhythm as she rode up and down my cock. I reached up and squeezed, pinching her nipples between my thumb and forefinger. She moaned approvingly and rode me harder and I could feel my need for imminent release. Judy sensed it as well and with a final squeeze, she coaxed my cock to spray her pussy walls with my cum and she flooded me again as well, squirting all over me and adding to the wetness of our sex. I was spent, but Judy looked at me with a gleam in her eye and slowly got off of me and then looking me in the eye, put her mouth on my flaccid cock. She was going to suck my cock again! In her teasing mouth it wasn't long before I was rock hard again. She looked at me as she said, "Take me from behind now, lover!" I didn't need to be told twice! She was on all fours and I entered her slick pussy from behind, pushing into her till I was buried deep in her sweet core. She moaned and met every thrust, urging me on and screaming, "Do me harder!" I was pounding into her like there was no tomorrow, smacking her wide ass and leaving my hand prints on her ass cheeks, my shaft ravaging her pussy and my balls slapping at her clit. I felt her cum hard on cock as she soaked me yet again, and I kept sliding in and out of her, then cumming once more, our juices running down her thighs and onto the already soaked bed. We collapsed together, spent, kissing again before falling asleep in each other's arms, on a euphoric sexual high...
Written by: Eward920778 (handle on site)
|
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
How You Get Off?-Turn Ons
|
Posted:Feb 17, 2007 6:17 pm
Last Updated:Apr 24, 2009 6:14 am
4606 Views
|
Today I was reading a story that a friend sent me, he is very good a writing. He has a very good imagination, either that or he has had some very good experiences.  He once told me that it was part experiences with a little add stuff to make it really good.
Well, anyways my question, if I can get anyone to answer is, does that kind of stuff turn you on. Reading the sex part of a story or short sex story that is really good.
Most time it never does for me, but his story, well, oh my god. They are all so good, almost as if I can feel everything happening, as I read. As if he was there doing all of those things to me.
Maybe I'm just crazy or maybe not. What do you think, how do you feel when you read or even see that stuff on TV or cams?
Never really got off on cams either, but have always watched because the guys seem to get off on knowing I was watching. But the other night I did just that, got myself off watching the guy on the cam. Maybe I just never really gave it a chance because I didn't think I could get off, and then the other night I did give it a fair chance or maybe it was just the guy was really hot and I was really turned on, who knows. But it will be something I will try again.
 |
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
No Responsible
|
Posted:Feb 15, 2007 9:52 pm
Last Updated:May 26, 2008 9:22 pm
4472 Views
|
Well, having a good night. Having some fun playing around on the computer.
Playing around with the music part, listen to stuff I haven't heard since middle and high school. Taking me right back to lose days, when I didn't have a care in the world. Well, except for what I was going to wear the next day to school. Or who I was going to go out with that night or that weekend. Or weather to dump my boyfriend to find another one, which back than that was not a problem. There was another one waiting whenever I dump the one I was with, oh boy, I was such a bitch back then. I think I'm a much better person now. But how I wish sometime I could go back to that time, not to be that person again, but back to the fun, and a basically worry free time. No responsible for anyone but for me, myself and I.
I guess that is what comes from my birthday coming up really soon here. I guess maybe I'm feeling a little old right now. I know that I'm not that old, but the gray that keeps trying to sneak into my hair tells me a different story. No, I'm not really worried about my birthday coming up, I'm kinda of excited about it. I think this year I'm going to go out and have fun on my birthday instead of staying home thinking that I'm just getting older.
Man, these song. Wow, it has been so long since I heard them. Back in school I always listen to rock. If you had told me back then that I would be listen to country now, I would have said you were crazy, hell no, I wouldn't listen to country, but that is all I listen to anymore or at least most of the time. But not tonight. Well, that is enough for me tonight. Nite.
 |
|
|
0
Comments
|
|
Remember the great one-liners from Hollywood Squares?
|
Posted:Feb 15, 2007 7:06 am
Last Updated:May 26, 2008 9:22 pm
4980 Views
|
Remember the great one-liners from Hollywood Squares?
These great questions and answers are from the days when game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking
should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000
years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way
sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old
question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
Q. Why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
Q. You've just decided to grow strawberries.
Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two
subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
Q. When you pat a on its head he will wag his
tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be
afraid of the dark.
Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts
shouting "Poo! Poo! ! Poo!" What does this mean?
A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.
Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put
horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.
Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh.
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (Rosebud322) use [blog Rosebud322] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
222
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
|
