This Day In History
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Posted:Apr 20, 2009 1:23 pm
Last Updated:Apr 25, 2009 2:57 pm
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I don't even want to browse random blogs today. Not that I have lately, but that's not the point. Given that it's 4/20, I just know every pothead on the site has written a post about it. I did my post on that number two years ago. In February, as my sense of timing was definitely off. OK, I just didn't want to wait two months to post the research and I was in a mood.
For those who never got to read it, here is that blast from the past. Dude, is it 420 Yet explains the origin of the term.
But I don't want to leave you with a misleading title. So here are a few tidbits about today.
Born on this day was Adolf Hitler. OK, I guess I can find something better than that.
Today in 1980, Fidel Castro announced the Mariel Boatlifts. Sort of ending the open arms policy we had with Cuban refugees, as Castro decided to send us a number of criminals, mental patients and others the country just wanted to be rid of. Which really put a damper on Cuban/American relations that were just starting to improve.
OK, that's not too happy either. Um...
In 1999 two in Littleton Colorado decided to visit Columbine High School and... Oh shit! This day in history just keeps getting worse!
Um...
Johnson Space Center in 2007, disgruntled employee goes postal... Great.
ATF raid on a white supremacist cult compound in Arkansas in 1985. The cult was called The Covenant, The Sword, and the Arm of the Lord. The head of the cult surrendered, lots of guns were taken, instead of a Waco like siege, after member Richard Snell killed a pawn shop owner he thought was Jewish and a black Arkansas State Trooper. So, it didn't get a lot of press.
Motherfucker! The trouble this cult caused missed hitting 4/20 by one day. Richard Snell was tried, convicted and put to death by execution on 4/19/95. The same day fellow hate monger and known member of the Elohim City group Snell founded Timothy McVeigh blew up the Murrah Building in Oklahoma City. Which is the same day as the Waco Siege in 1993. Two cults, two days... I've got to find some happier stuff.
Hold on. I'm looking.
Well, there are a few things in the, "and just how is that working out for you?" category.
In 1884, Pope Leo XIII published the Humanum Genus, which condemned among other things, Freemasonry, public education and the separation of church and state. The statements about Freemasonry in this publication still fuel conspiracy theorists to this day. Luckily for Catholics who wanted to join a secret society, the Knights of Columbus had been formed two years earlier. But we can all see how well the condemnation public education and separation of church and state is working out.
Also in this category, in 1861, Robert E. Lee resigned from the U.S. Army to take a position with the Confederate Army. We all know how well that worked out for him.
In 1961 this day brought us the Bay of Pigs invasion. Yeah, that worked out well too, didn't it?
OK, I found some good stuff. Today isn't a total washout in history.
Today is Patriots Day in Massachusetts, which means bunches of people are causing traffic tie-ups as they run the Boston Marathon. The day is to commemorate the Siege of Boston in 1775 during the Revolutionary War.
Louis Pasteur and Claude Bernard completed the first test on pasteurization on this day in 1862, which means our milk doesn't go bad before it reaches the store. That's good, right?
OK, it's Don Mattingly's birthday. Meaningless unless you're a baseball fan. OK, a life-long Yankees fan.
For you Red Sox fans, Fenway Park opened on this day in 1912.
In 2001, China stepped into the 1980s and declassified homosexuality as a mental disorder. Of course, they were more progressive than this country, when same gender sexual acts were decriminalized in 1997. The United States had to wait for the 2003 Lawrence v. Texas ruling to have such acts made legal by the Supreme Court. Which in turn, made Rick Santorum's obsession with dogs public. Which brings us to...
Rick Santorum's famous interview with the AP was printed on this day in 2003. In which he came out against the right to privacy and a few other things. Here's the famous man on excerpt:
SANTORUM: Every society in the history of man has upheld the institution of marriage as a bond between a man and a woman. Why? Because society is based on one thing: that society is based on the future of the society. And that's what? . Monogamous relationships. In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on , man on dog, or whatever the case may be. It is one thing. And when you destroy that you have a dramatic impact on the quality –
AP: I'm sorry, I didn't think I was going to talk about "man on dog" with a United States senator, it's sort of freaking me out.
SANTORUM: And that's sort of where we are in today's world, unfortunately. The idea is that the state doesn't have rights to limit individuals' wants and passions. I disagree with that. I think we absolutely have rights because there are consequences to letting people live out whatever wants or passions they desire. And we're seeing it in our society.
You know, when the best things you can find in the history of a day are experiments into pasteurization and the start of political career suicide, maybe the Waldos were seers who could see well into the future. Who could see what hideous things would come to be associated with 4/20.
So smoke 'em if you've got 'em. Looking at the history of this day, pot sounds like a good idea and I haven't gotten good and high in years. Maybe I should start again.
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Fakes Walk Among Us
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Posted:Apr 16, 2009 5:34 am
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2009 11:29 am
91267 Views
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I know it's no surprise that there are fake women all over the site. Hell, I've even seen male celebrities all over the place. Then there are the Nigerian scammers. All of these are old hat and the blogs have grown enough that most of the fakes are lost in the shuffle now, no longer getting the attention they want. But there is one fake here right now, who is doing it just to have you all on. Morally reprehensible character, if you ask me.
I just don't know what to call this incarnation. He? She? Heshe? It? All I know is this person is posing as a tranny and is using a pictures from an old TV show. I don't even know what to call the Heshe/It in the photos. Other than bizarre and possibly hilarious.
I'll be honest. In spite of knowing this person even off the site, I was completely and utterly lost when that crap with some woman I don't know from Adam was going on. But he seems to be making digs at people who claim he is she. But to use old photos of Aunty Jack to do it? Is he unaware of the international DVD market? Or the Tube that is You?
Don't believe this man! I have spoken to him in the past with the roommate listening in and I can tell you, any references to anything less than masculine would send them both into fits of discomfort. So I can't believe he's masquerading as a Heshe. I would think that would go against every bit of moral fiber he has. Oh, who am I kidding? Moral fiber? Henry has more moral fiber.
Then there's the fact he's insulting just about every cross dresser on this site with his masquerade in the name of humor. I can only assume that Aunty Jack looks better in a dress than he does, but he won't put on a dress and send pictures to prove it. The idea of actual cross dressing makes this poseur very uncomfortable. The least he could have done was find pics of someone who didn't look like a fat Vincent Price in a dress. Like stills from "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert." That would have been just as obvious to many of us as Aunty Jack.
First he was a pair of lesbians with fake tits. Now a cross dressing has-been. What is next? A pair of gay gynecologists? Wait, that would probably turn him on. Posing as gay to get to see pussy pics. He is a crafty one, so I wouldn't put it past him.
The worst part is, some people are retarded enough to believe that this is evidence for their claims, as they have the mental agility of an ox. They're not even up to realizing they've been had. So how can he possibly be having fun when idiots take him seriously?
This is my outing of Lofty, as he really is a he. Not a heshe and most certainly not Aunty Jack. The jury is still out on if he's really Graham "Abo" Henry or not. I'm guessing not, but he seems to like to lead people on to believe he's men who's first names are Graham. Then again, I could be wrong. He's a crafty one, he is. So if he was the latter, it wouldn't surprise me at all.
But don't let this man lead you on to believe he's a tranny or even a hermaphrodite. Force him out of the closet, so to speak. But don't believe for a moment that he's Aunty Jack.
This has been a public service announcement.
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Does Anyone Without Mental Disease Think This Is Bad?
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Posted:Mar 14, 2009 1:13 pm
Last Updated:Apr 20, 2009 5:51 pm
77406 Views
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One of the many things I've been doing in my absence is hanging out on a chat site with some really interesting characters. Recently, I visited a room that was full of very odd conspiracy theorists. From what I can tell, these people all take what Alex Jones, Clyde Lewis, Ingo Swann, David Icke, Jeff Rense and Sherry Shriner way too seriously. Between hearing about reptilian aliens who possess world leaders and the New World Order, which has been coming for nearly 100 years according to the conspiracy theorists and of course, the perennial worry about the Illuminati, these people were on about House Resolution 45. Which I found interesting as most of these people are from Australia. The rest were from Texas, which well, let's just say visiting Texas is like visiting some weird foreign country. I really do think these people were who the writers of "King Of The Hill" followed around in Home Depot and Wal*Mart, to find dialogue for Dale Gribble.
H.R. 45 is all about proper gun licensing. But of course, according to the conspiracy theorists, it is chipping away at the second amendment. You know, the ONLY part of the Bill of Rights that the Bush Administration didn't defile. But the whackos are screaming that this will lead to removing guns from the hands of responsible gun owners. Um, let's take a look at the first section of this bill.
The actual name of H.R. 45 is Blair Holt's Firearm Licensing and Record of Sale Act of 2009.
SEC. 3. DEFINITIONS.
(a) In General- In this Act:
(1) FIREARM; LICENSED DEALER; LICENSED MANUFACTURER; STATE- The terms `firearm', `licensed dealer', `licensed manufacturer', and `State' have the meanings given those terms in section 921(a) of title 18, United States Code.
(2) QUALIFYING FIREARM- The term `qualifying firearm' has the meaning given the term in section 921(a) of title 18, United States Code, as amended by subsection (b) of this section.
(b) Amendment to Title 18, United States Code- Section 921(a) of title 18, United States Code, is amended by adding at the end the following:
`(36) The term `qualifying firearm'--
`(A) means--
`(i) any handgun; or
`(ii) any semiautomatic firearm that can accept any detachable ammunition feeding device; and
`( does not include any antique.'.
Notice this bill pertains to handguns and semiautomatic weapons. It doesn't pertain to your average hunting rifle. Antique handguns and semiautomatic weapons are excluded from the bill. So you're not going to get in trouble if you own Al Capone's Tommy Gun.
SEC. 101. LICENSING REQUIREMENT.
Section 922 of title 18, United States Code, is amended by adding at the end the following:
`(aa) Firearm Licensing Requirement-
`(1) IN GENERAL- It shall be unlawful for any person other than a licensed importer, licensed manufacturer, licensed dealer, or licensed collector to possess a qualifying firearm on or after the applicable date, unless that person has been issued a firearm license--
`(A) under title I of Blair Holt's Firearm Licensing and Record of Sale Act of 2009, which license has not been invalidated or revoked under that title; or
`( pursuant to a State firearm licensing and record of sale system certified under section 602 of Blair Holt's Firearm Licensing and Record of Sale Act of 2009, which license has not been invalidated or revoked under State law.
`(2) APPLICABLE DATE- In this subsection, the term `applicable date' means--
`(A) with respect to a qualifying firearm that is acquired by the person before the date of the enactment of Blair Holt's Firearm Licensing and Record of Sale Act of 2009, 2 years after such date of enactment; and
`( with respect to a qualifying firearm that is acquired by the person on or after the date of the enactment of Blair Holt's Firearm Licensing and Record of Sale Act of 2009, 1 year after such date of enactment.'.
OK, so you have to have a proper, unexpired, unrevoked carry permit to own a gun. I don't see what's wrong with that. You have to buy your guns, except for antique guns from a licensed gun dealer. Not a problem there, either. Chances are, even at a gun show, all the dealers are licensed, even in red states. The only state I can think of off the top of my head this would effect would be Florida and that is a state notorious for supplying illegal handguns to the rest of the country, but especially up and down the East Coast. I see no issue yet.
The next section is long and has many of the points that the hardcore gun nuts object to. My comments are in between, instead of at the very end of the section.
SEC. 102. APPLICATION REQUIREMENTS.
(a) In General- In order to be issued a firearm license under this title, an individual shall submit to the Attorney General (in accordance with the regulations promulgated under subsection (b)) an application, which shall include--
(1) a current, passport-sized photograph of the applicant that provides a clear, accurate likeness of the applicant;
The nuts who even scare most NRA members are screaming about this. "What's wrong with a driver's license?" they're screaming. They don't seem to realize the picture will be for record keeping, your gun license and making sure that the person going in to buy a gun with your license is actually you. Basically, it makes it harder to buy a gun with false ID.
(2) the name, address, and date and place of birth of the applicant;
Letting the government know where you live means they can track you, don't you know. And find out they haven't filed their income tax returns in the last 25 years. How dare they!
(3) any other name that the applicant has ever used or by which the applicant has ever been known;
Aliases have to be listed? What a trampling of civil rights! They had to change their names for good reasons, other than the federal witness protection program. Right? So they have lots to hide!
(4) a clear thumb print of the applicant, which shall be made when, and in the presence of the entity to whom, the application is submitted;
God forbid they submit a thumbprint. When those prints are run, they're going to find out they were responsible for what? You know, in Oklahoma, which is a bastion of right wing thinking and gun nuts, you have to be thumb printed for a driver's license or state ID. If the ID is lost, they run your thumbprint through the database to replace it. But you know, as it's a right wing state, it's ok. It's the liberals on the federal level you don't want having that thumbprint, right?
(5) with respect to each category of person prohibited by Federal law, or by the law of the State of residence of the applicant, from obtaining a firearm, a statement that the individual is not a person prohibited from obtaining a firearm;
How DARE Nancy Pelosi try to keep guns out of the hands of people who are prohibited from owning firearms!
(6) a certification by the applicant that the applicant will keep any firearm owned by the applicant safely stored and out of the possession of persons who have not attained 18 years of age;
BASTARDS! They expect you to practice gun safety in the presence of ! How DARE the federal government insist you be a responsible parent and only let a minor use a gun under adult supervision! A playing with a gun has never, ever been the cause of a catastrophic accident!
(7) a certificate attesting to the completion at the time of application of a written firearms examination, which shall test the knowledge and ability of the applicant regarding--
(A) the safe storage of firearms, particularly in the vicinity of persons who have not attained 18 years of age;
( the safe handling of firearms;
(C) the use of firearms in the home and the risks associated with such use;
(D) the legal responsibilities of firearms owners, including Federal, State, and local laws relating to requirements for the possession and storage of firearms, and relating to reporting requirements with respect to firearms; and
(E) any other subjects, as the Attorney General determines to be appropriate;
You know, it's official. Oklahoma isn't a right wing state, it's run by RINOs! Yep. Those Republicans in name only already insist that to obtain a concealed carry permit, that you take a course and pass a test. If you do have a concealed carry permit, if you're stopped by the cops, you hand the cop your driver's license, your concealed carry permit and THEN your registration and proof of insurance. But you had them your gun permit along with the driver's license, very first thing.
The course covers the proper handling of firearms. I don't know one gun owner here who hasn't taught their to treat guns with respect and reverence and if they touch the guns without permission, they are in deep shit.
However, when aren't taught the proper handling of firearms, well, you end up with scenarios such as what's going on in Pennsylvania right now. If you haven't heard of Jordan Brown, he's an 11 year old in New Castle, PA. Who one day last month took his 's hunting rifle, which his father did NOT keep locked in a gun case, and shot his father's very pregnant girlfriend to death as she laid in bed. Then he put the gun back in his room and went to school. Leaving a 2 year old alone with the dead body of her mother. The girlfriend was two weeks away from delivering and the baby died of oxygen deprivation after the death of its mother. His father had already left for work. Nice , with a father who taught him to be responsible with guns. Especially since the had been telling anyone who would listen for a few months how much he hated the fact his father had a girlfriend and how there was going to be a baby in the house. And how he wanted to kill dad's girlfriend. But there were no signs he would do this. So daddy let him keep his 20 gauge in his room so he could play with it like a toy.
While this who is going to be tried as an adult and should never, ever breathe fresh air again isn't the norm, it drives home the point that guns are not toys and parents need to be responsible when it comes to their and guns. But the people who scare even the NRA while declaring themselves Libertarians don't see it that way.
(  an authorization by the applicant to release to the Attorney General or an authorized representative of the Attorney General any mental health records pertaining to the applicant;
In most states, it is illegal to own a handgun if you've been committed to a mental ward for any reason. Even if you checked yourself in. I personally wouldn't want someone who is a diagnosed schizophrenic who hears voices owning a gun anywhere near me. But the hardcore members of the gun lobby feel this tramples the civil rights of said schizophrenic. Because, like, the voices in their heads have never, ever told them that it is the voice of God and God has never, ever told these people to kill.
(9) the date on which the application was submitted; and
(10) the signature of the applicant.
(b) Regulations Governing Submission- The Attorney General shall promulgate regulations specifying procedures for the submission of applications to the Attorney General under this section, which regulations shall--
(1) provide for submission of the application through a licensed dealer or an office or agency of the Federal Government designated by the Attorney General;
(2) require the applicant to provide a valid identification document (as defined in section 1028(d)(2) of title 18, United States Code) of the applicant, containing a photograph of the applicant, to the licensed dealer or to the office or agency of the Federal Government, as applicable, at the time of submission of the application to that dealer, office, or agency; and
(3) require that a completed application be forwarded to the Attorney General not later than 48 hours after the application is submitted to the licensed dealer or office or agency of the Federal Government, as applicable.
They have to wait 48 hours for the application to be sent for processing? There hasn't been such an affront to gun ownership since the early days of The Brady Bill!
The trouble with this section is, they feel it's creating a federal ID. As if federal IDs don't already exist, in the forms of military IDs, green cards and passports. The very people who scream we make it too easy for terrorists and gangs are screaming because this will make it harder for terrorists and gangs to get guns.
It doesn't say how it will impact people who already have state carry permits. This bill is geared at hang guns and semi-automatic weapons. So while your average run of the mill 12 gauge isn't going to be effected, those semi-automatic hunting rifles that hunters with bad eyesight need to make the kill will be effected. But most of those hunters aren't even responsible enough to track an animal after just wounding it. They just let it go on its way to die of the infection.
My grandfather used to track for the State and County wildlife commissions in NJ. When some asshole let a wounded animal go, even when there were no prohibitions on automatic rifles and people would take those hunting with them, he was still out there at least three times a week during hunting season cleaning up after irresponsible hunters. So I know what I'm talking about here.
(c) Fees-
(1) IN GENERAL- The Attorney General shall charge and collect from each applicant for a license under this title a fee in an amount determined in accordance with paragraph (2).
(2) fee AMOUNT- The amount of the fee collected under this subsection shall be not less than the amount determined by the Attorney General to be necessary to ensure that the total amount of all fees collected under this subsection during a fiscal year is sufficient to cover the costs of carrying out this title during that fiscal year, except that such amount shall not exceed $25.
Now I see the root of the problem! It's not about having to take a course on responsible gun ownership! It's not about having to pass a test when you're functionally illterate! It's not about the government insisting that you be a responsible parent! It's about the money! The federal government is going to gouge gun owners to bail out the deficit $25 at a time! How dare they expect survivalists who want to secede from the union pay a gun tax! Which is how they are looking at this. As a gun tax. Ugh.
SEC. 103. ISSUANCE OF LICENSE.
(a) In General- The Attorney General shall issue a firearm license to an applicant who has submitted an application that meets the requirements of section 102 of this Act, if the Attorney General ascertains that the individual is not prohibited by subsection (g) or (n) of section 922 of title 18, United States Code, from receiving a firearm.
(b) Effect of Issuance to Prohibited Person- A firearm license issued under this section shall be null and void if issued to a person who is prohibited by subsection (g) or (n) of section 922 of title 18, United States Code, from receiving a firearm.
(c) Form of License- A firearm license issued under this section shall be in the form of a tamper-resistant card, and shall include--
(1) the photograph of the licensed individual submitted with the application;
(2) the address of the licensed individual;
(3) the date of birth of the licensed individual;
(4) a license number, unique to each licensed individual;
(5) the expiration date of the license, which shall be the date that is 5 years after the initial anniversary of the date of birth of the licensed individual following the date on which the license is issued (or in the case of a license renewal, following the date on which the license is renewed under section 104);
(6) the signature of the licensed individual provided on the application, or a facsimile of the application; and
(7) centered at the top of the license, capitalized, and in boldface type, the following:
FIREARM LICENSE--NOT VALID FOR ANY OTHER PURPOSE'.
Uh-oh... This is one step closer to a federal identification card, but get this... You can't use it as an ID! You can only use it to buy a gun! Then they have to drag out the old driver's license to buy beer! The horrors! The bastards! An it's tamper-proof, so they can't let their cousins who were convicted of drug dealing and shooting it out with the police, DEA and FBI use the ID to buy guns now that they're out of prison!
And as far as the prohibitions on gun ownership. I can't think of a state where a convicted felon is allowed to own a hand gun or semi-automatic weapon. But most states allow them to own hunting rifles. For very good reason, if you ask me. Do you really want someone who has robbed bank after bank to get out after 25 years and then walk into a bank with a brand new handgun in his or her jacket pocket? There is a reason for this law. Handguns are concealed very easily. A hunting rifle isn't.
SEC. 105. REVOCATION OF LICENSE.
(a) In General- If an individual to whom a license has been issued under this title subsequently becomes a person who is prohibited by subsection (g) or (n) of section 922 of title 18, United States Code, from receiving a firearm--
(1) the license is revoked; and
(2) the individual shall promptly return the license to the Attorney General.
(b) Administrative Action- Upon receipt by the Attorney General of notice that an individual to whom a license has been issued under this title has become a person described in subsection (a), the Attorney General shall ensure that the individual promptly returns the license to the Attorney General.
OMG! You have to mail back the license if it's revoked! You can't just stop by a state agency and drop it off, or watch the cops cut it up in front of you! You have to use a stamp! The feds aren't just after your $25 for a license, but they're out for the price of a stamp if you've been convicted of a felony offense or end up in a mental ward!
So far, I don't see anything in this bill that is taking away your right to gun ownership, unless you're already prohibited from owning a firearm. With any luck this law will cut back on the number of disreputable gun dealers in the country. Anyone who is prohibited and decides they really NEED a gun and do something stupid like build their own zip gun deserves to have it backfire on them.
The idea of this bill isn't to punish people who are legally entitled to own guns. It is to help keep more illegal guns from reaching the streets. Which I think we can all agree is a good thing.
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Lattice Of Coincidence
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Posted:Feb 27, 2009 9:23 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2009 12:09 am
76233 Views
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A lot o' people don't realize what's really going on. They view life as a bunch o' unconnected incidents 'n things. They don't realize that there's this, like, lattice o' coincidence that lays on top o' everything. Give you an example; show you what I mean: suppose you're thinkin' about a plate o' shrimp. Suddenly someone'll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate o' shrimp out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin' for one, either. It's all part of a cosmic unconsciousness. - Miller in Repo Man
Last week I was feeling morose. Which lately is a normal state of mind for me. But I started thinking about people I used to know.
The first thought I had was about seeing The Cramps at City Gardens in the late 80s. How that was the last time I saw the woman who was my best friend in my late teens and early 20s. So, I looked her up. Seems she's still alive and kicking, something that kind of shocked me. I guess she took her doctor's advice on what to do if she wanted to live past 30. She must be doing well, as I found her address and she's living in Hopewell, NJ, which is not a cheap neighborhood. And she's in a cul de sac.
But that got me thinking about others. And I started researching those I've been out of touch with. It didn't help my morose feelings, as all of them seem to be doing quite well for themselves. I seem to have been the born loser of the group.
So I looked up one, who is doing beyond well. I then looked up her sister and brother. I couldn't find one thing on her sister, but her sister also married young and I couldn't remember her married name for the life of me. Then I looked up her brother. Found him at a social networking site I belong to, but hadn't visited in a while. It's dedicated to people who are into movies and it starts with Flix and ends in Ster.
As I said, I hadn't visited the site for a while. So, as things were beyond quiet for me that day, I settled in to peruse the pages, update my profile, rate movies, take quizzes.
The first quiz I saw as a quiz on The Cramps. I thought it was odd that there would be a Cramps quiz on a movie site, but I thought to myself, "COOL!"
I took the quiz and at the end it said, "R.I.P. Lux Interior".
Wait a minute. R.I.P. Lux Interior? I know! That's the name of their new album! So I went to Google. Wrong.
It would seem Lux Interior, the frontman for The Cramps died February 4th. As they were pioneers in psychobilly, of course they never hit the mainstream. So of course, I didn't exactly see a story on this on the evening news.
Lux Interior, dead from aortic dissection. He wasn't supposed to go that way! He was supposed to die in a fiery plane crash on the way to a show. He was supposed to fall from the stage and break his neck. He wasn't supposed to die from his aorta separating and bleeding! So the death was twice as shocking.
What I also found shocking was his age. He was 62. While his official bio said 60, his family said that was wrong, he was 62. I had no idea he was that old. It started to make me feel old.
At that point, I realized the lattice of coincidence. I started out thinking about a concert 21 years ago. I ended up finding out the frontman for that band had died.
As late as it is, R.I.P. Lux. You will be missed. You and the band were unique and under-appreciated.
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I was gone for HOW long?
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Posted:Feb 19, 2009 9:31 am
Last Updated:Apr 16, 2009 5:37 am
89537 Views
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Wow... Four months. I had no idea I had been gone so long.
There are lots of reasons for it. Including losing my muse. But I hope I'm back now. Well, maybe I'm back. Yeah, well, I doubt it will be four months if I disappear again.
I can't believe I have any watchers left. Thanks for hanging in there, everyone.
So, who missed me? And what's new with you? Have the moods been broken for long? What else is broken around the site I should know about?
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City Gurl Haz Mad Skillz
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Posted:Oct 13, 2008 10:34 pm
Last Updated:Apr 29, 2009 1:40 am
78496 Views
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I've been down at [blog neveragain80]'s farm since Friday. I was supposed to go back to Tulsa last night, but you know, things happen. So I'm here until Wed.
Today has been interesting to say the least. Everyone is gone and I've been sitting here with a cat who is going into heat and as a result, VERY needy. But her constant need for attention is nothing compared to the horses.
They have found some weak spot in the fence to get out and well, it seems to be a mystery spot. When they didn't get out all weekend, I figured it was fixed. But today...
Around noon, the dogs started going nuts. I went out to see what was going on and decided it would be a good time to have a smoke. Imagine my surprise to see the horses across the road on the neighbor's lawn.
I knew all that had to be done was get the leader back into the field and the others would follow. However, it dawned on me that I have no idea where the bridles are and... I wouldn't know how to bridle a if my life depended on it.
So, I had to use my wiles. Which consisted of luring the horses back across the road.
My first stop was the refrigerator. Damn. No apples. Then the cupboard. Damn. No sugar cubes, so I couldn't use the Hansel and Gretel method. This is going to have to take work.
So, I stood in the middle of the driveway, calling the ringleader's name. They all finally decided that the front yard would be acceptable, in leui of grazing on the neighbor's lawn.
I was over the hurdle. So I let them hang out on the front lawn, until they started to make their way up to around the fence. Until the ringleader would let me near him. Until he came when I called his name.
Finally, an hour or so later, he finally came when I called him and I unleashed my secret weapon. Something so tempting, no four legged critters can resist... My fingernails.
I tend to have the magic touch with most animals. The ringleader fell for my charms as soon as I scratched his nose. He was putty in my hands. I opened the gate to the pasture and he follwed me right in. Three of the others followed, all wanting scratches themselves.
That left two, who weren't about to come to someone they didn't know. So I hung out in the pasture, right by the gate and waited for them to realize they were separated from their group.
What I didn't plan on was the four in the pasture deciding to stand at the fence and the gate waiting for the straglers. Did I mention I didn't exactly bring acceptable footwear for being around horses? I was wearing zoris. The four already returned to their prison were stamping their feet. Because you know, three or four acres is so much more fun than over three hundred. Weird, weird animals.
Finally three of them went off to bug the horses in the barn. But one stayed by my side and if I stopped scratching him, the next thing I knew there was a leaning his head on my shoulder and making annoyed noises in my ear. Not to mention chewing on my shirt.
So the two of us waited by the gate. And waited. And waited some more for the skittish ones to finally return to the pasture.
I was getting really annoyed. If I reached out to give them scratches, they took off. The one was taking great joy in chasing the dogs. The dogs took off for under the deck. If I made a false move, they took off and then came back to stare at me. I learned this because a fly was buzzing me just as they were about to come in the pasture. They took off when I made a sudden move.
Finally, after what felt like forever, I remembered the name of the one. Well, that confused it, how did this stranger know his name? But his partner in crime decided if I knew his friend's name, perhaps I could be trusted. So, he came into the pasture. The one I was calling finally followed.
I gave my new friend a few more scratches on the neck and head, left the pasture and locked the gate. Which did not make my new friend happy.
I came back in the house to get a cigarette and discovered I had just spent just over an hour getting them all in the gate. But, I was ever so proud of myself, as I did it without a bridle, cattle prod, apple, etc. I didn't get trampled, my feet stepped on, I escaped with just a bit of slobber on my shoulder.
So yeah. I haz mad skillz when it comes to critters. Come to think of it, I'm still proud of myself that I managed to do that. Sure, with a bridle it would have taken five minutes to round them up and get them in the pasture. Hell, it wouldn't have taken much longer once I unleashed the power of my nails had those last two not been so scared of a stranger. But I did it without injury other than a few bug bites, without panicking, without injury to the dogs who insisted on getting underfoot.
Yep. Mad skillz.
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City Gurl Haz Mad Skillz
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Posted:Oct 13, 2008 10:03 pm
Last Updated:Oct 27, 2008 1:39 am
76099 Views
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I've been down at [blog neveragain80]'s farm since Friday. I was supposed to go back to Tulsa last night, but you know, things happen. So I'm here until Wed.
Today has been interesting to say the least. Everyone is gone and I've been sitting here with a cat who is going into heat and as a result, VERY needy. But her constant need for attention is nothing compared to the horses.
They have found some weak spot in the fence to get out and well, it seems to be a mystery spot. When they didn't get out all weekend, I figured it was fixed. But today...
Around noon, the dogs started going nuts. I went out to see what was going on and decided it would be a good time to have a smoke. Imagine my surprise to see the horses across the road on the neighbor's lawn.
I knew all that had to be done was get the leader back into the field and the others would follow. However, it dawned on me that I have no idea where the bridles are and... I wouldn't know how to bridle a if my life depended on it.
So, I had to use my wiles. Which consisted of luring the horses back across the road.
My first stop was the refrigerator. Damn. No apples. Then the cupboard. Damn. No sugar cubes, so I couldn't use the Hansel and Gretel method. This is going to have to take work.
So, I stood in the middle of the driveway, calling the ringleader's name. They all finally decided that the front yard would be acceptable, in leui of grazing on the neighbor's lawn.
I was over the hurdle. So I let them hang out on the front lawn, until they started to make their way up to around the fence. Until the ringleader would let me near him. Until he came when I called his name.
Finally, an hour or so later, he finally came when I called him and I unleashed my secret weapon. Something so tempting, no four legged critters can resist... My fingernails.
I tend to have the magic touch with most animals. The ringleader fell for my charms as soon as I scratched his nose. He was putty in my hands. I opened the gate to the pasture and he follwed me right in. Three of the others followed, all wanting scratches themselves.
That left two, who weren't about to come to someone they didn't know. So I hung out in the pasture, right by the gate and waited for them to realize they were separated from their group.
What I didn't plan on was the four in the pasture deciding to stand at the fence and the gate waiting for the straglers. Did I mention I didn't exactly bring acceptable footwear for being around horses? I was wearing zoris. The four already returned to their prison were stamping their feet. Because you know, three or four acres is so much more fun than over three hundred. Weird, weird animals.
Finally three of them went off to bug the horses in the barn. But one stayed by my side and if I stopped scratching him, the next thing I knew there was a leaning his head on my shoulder and making annoyed noises in my ear. Not to mention chewing on my shirt.
So the two of us waited by the gate. And waited. And waited some more for the skittish ones to finally return to the pasture.
I was getting really annoyed. If I reached out to give them scratches, they took off. The one was taking great joy in chasing the dogs. The dogs took off for under the deck. If I made a false move, they took off and then came back to stare at me. I learned this because a fly was buzzing me just as they were about to come in the pasture. They took off when I made a sudden move.
Finally, after what felt like forever, I remembered the name of the one. Well, that confused it, how did this stranger know his name? But his partner in crime decided if I knew his friend's name, perhaps I could be trusted. So, he came into the pasture. The one I was calling finally followed.
I gave my new friend a few more scratches on the neck and head, left the pasture and locked the gate. Which did not make my new friend happy.
I came back in the house to get a cigarette and discovered I had just spent just over an hour getting them all in the gate. But, I was ever so proud of myself, as I did it without a bridle, cattle prod, apple, etc. I didn't get trampled, my feet stepped on, I escaped with just a bit of slobber on my shoulder.
So yeah. I haz mad skillz when it comes to critters. Come to think of it, I'm still proud of myself that I managed to do that. Sure, with a bridle it would have taken five minutes to round them up and get them in the pasture. Hell, it wouldn't have taken much longer once I unleashed the power of my nails had those last two not been so scared of a stranger. But I did it without injury other than a few bug bites, without panicking, without injury to the dogs who insisted on getting underfoot.
Yep. Mad skillz.
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Demons Walk Among Us
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Posted:Oct 6, 2008 8:05 pm
Last Updated:Nov 11, 2008 11:01 pm
78915 Views
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At least, that's what I was told last night.
A friend of the roomie's was over. They started talking "Star Trek", the various series and the various movies. The talk turned to Jeri Ryan. I had to open my mouth.
"You do know Jeri Ryan is the reason Obama is in the Presidential race, right?" I asked knowing that this friend considers Obama the anti-Christ.
They asked me what I meant and I explained the sex scandal that caused Jack Ryan, her ex-husband to resign from the U.S. Senate race. For those of you who aren't aware, Republican Peter Fitzpatrick held the seat in the Senate. In 2004, he decided to retire and not run for reelection. Jack Ryan won the primary. Then...
All the court papers from his divorce from Jeri Ryan fell into the hands of The Smoking Gun. Mr. Ryan, who was running on an anti-sex platform was outed as a pervert. He would make his wife perform with random strangers in sex clubs all over the world, some with S&M themes. He resigned from the race.
So who stepped into his shoes? Alan Keyes.
Alan Keyes is a bat-shit insane right-winger. He was still bitter about his disastrous bid for President in 2000. He had NOTHING nice to say about the Republican party for years. Then suddenly, he was out of his home in Maryland, declaring residence in Illinois and running for the U.S. Senate.
Not only that, but in spite of his staunch anti-gay agenda, his militant lesbian Maya was dragged out to campaign for her father. Of course, people only hinted at her sexuality, until Keyes did a radio show and said that homosexuality and lesbianism is, "selfish hedonism".
When asked if that applied to Mary Cheney too, his reply was, "Of course she is. That goes by definition."
That was it. Maya was outed, much to the chagrin of her father. It wasn't until AFTER the election he kicked her out of the house. So much for Christian tolerance.
And yes, he is a supposed Christian and he even went so far as to tell Illinois voters that Jesus Christ would never vote for Barack Obama, because he's pro-choice.
So, there is the background.
Once again, the roomie's friend informed me that Barack Obama is the anti-Christ. I asked why. I was told, it's because the anti-Christ will bring about world peace and Obama wants to withdraw from Iraq, which will get the world peace ball rolling. Then, before I could get out, Iraq isn't the only war in the world right now, I was told he'd give rights to homosexuals. And homosexuals are the worst things on earth and possessed by the most evil of demons.
"Demons?" I ask?
"Don't you believe in demons?" I'm asked.
I said, "I don't believe evil demons cause homosexuality."
I was told, I should believe in demons, they are among us and homosexuals are possessed. OK, I'll play along. So I asked if homosexuals are possessed by worse demons than serial killers. Is a homosexual a worse person than Ted Bundy?
The answer? "Yes."
I was then informed that homosexuals are the reason for most domestic violence calls in the world. That ALL homosexuals and lesbians abuse their partners. I said I didn't believe it. I was told it was true and there were crime statistics to back it up. I asked where I can find these statistics, the FBI page that tracks such things says no such thing.
The subject was changed.
I was the model of self-restraint last night. I didn't mock, I didn't blow up and call her an idiot, I just asked for evidence. I didn't even mind-fuck her with McCain means of Cain and therefore John McCain bears the mark of Cain.
But what I want to know is, does this woman just belong to some weird-ass church? Are these the insane rantings of James Dobson or some right-wing talk show host? Do Christians actually believe demonic possession causes homosexuality when the science is in place to prove it's genetic?
I know there are Christians among you. Are the things that were spouted last night what the fundies actually believe? Are they truly that stupid?
My head is still spinning, let me tell you. Someone make it better.
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What Is A Yankee: A Primer For Southerners
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Posted:Oct 3, 2008 10:54 pm
Last Updated:Nov 6, 2008 11:33 pm
78922 Views
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In the time I've been in Oklahoma, I've heard some weird things. But the oddest is what you all consider a Yankee. I'm referred to as a "Damn Yankee." Which of course, is a Yankee who moves here and refuses to go home. So, I thought I would create this primer and prove once and for all, while I'm a Yankees fan, I am not technically a Yankee.
Mind you, I'm not just hassling Okies here. Natives of Texas and Arkansas don't seem to have a clue either. And of course, let's not forget the English, who have a habit of referring to all Americans as either "Merkins" or "Bloody Yanks." FYI, some of us know what a merkin is and we are NOT amused. (You know, we declared independence over 200 years ago. Get over it, already.)
The term has always referred to someone from New England. What is New England, you ask? Take a look at the map to the left. New England is made up of the following states: Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Rhode Island, Massachusetts and Connecticut.
That is the original and modern meaning of the word Yankee.
Are there Yankees from outside of New England? Well, yes. There are the New York Yankees, the greatest baseball team ever. 26 World Series wins, 39 American League pennants. So don't listen to Boston Red Sox fans. They're just upset their team didn't get the name to go with the region.
Mind you, very few of the New York Yankees were born Yankees. As a matter of fact, Yankee greats Mickey Mantle and Bobby Murcer were from Oklahoma.
Now, during the Civil War, you Southern types decided that anyone north of the Mason-Dixon Line or the Missouri Compromise were Yankees. That included the Great Lakes Region and the Mid-Atlantic region. Basically, anyone who fought on the Union side. But guess what? That was HOW many years ago? Get over it. Some of you who refer to anyone from outside of the south or Lower Midwest seem to think that that definition still applies. It doesn't. It was fleeting. Some of you live places that weren't even states during the Civil War. So once again... Get. Over. It.
After the Civil War, the term reverted to meaning someone from New England.
How did the word get its start?
It started in New York, of course. In the 1600s, Dutch Settlers in New Amsterdam started using it to refer to their English neighbors to the north in Connecticut. That seems to be the story most etymologists accept. There are others, of course.
That Yankee came from the Cherokee word eankke, which means a slave or a coward. Of course, that explanation came from by Thomas Anburey in 1789. Anburey was an officer in... The British Army. That explanation also comes a full 100 years after the term was first recorded. Yeah, the natives and the British Army not being fond of the settlers and having a negative word for them. What a surprise.
In 1819, John Heckewelder wrote a book called, "History, Manners, and Customs of the Indian Nations". In this book he claimed:
Yengees. This name they now exclusively applied to the people of New England...They say they know the Yengees, and can distinguish them by their dress and personal appearance...The proper English they call Saggenash
So even in New England, it remained a derogatory term, as the Dutch settlers intended. However, he came to the conclusion that it derived from the Algonquins trying to pronounce English.
A popular and debunked legend is of course, British. (No, I'm not really singling you guys out. But the legend does seem to be popular over there.) The claim is, Washington didn't allow women in the camps during the Revolutionary War, so the Tories started calling them Yankees, because they yanked their way through the war. Cute, quaint and slightly vulgar explanation that is pure bunk. Yank as a word for masturbation didn't come into usage until the 19th century.
The term came full circle to mean someone from Connecticut when Mark Twain published, "A Connecticut Yankee In King Arthur's Court."
It seems the battle of what determines a Yankee raged into the 20th Century. E.B. White tried to clear it up for everyone.
To foreigners, a Yankee is an American.
To Americans, a Yankee is a Northerner.
To Northerners, a Yankee is an Easterner.
To Easterners, a Yankee is a New Englander.
To New Englanders, a Yankee is a Vermonter.
And in Vermont, a Yankee is somebody who eats pie for breakfast.
E.B. White was from Westchester County, NY and was a transplant to Maine.
However, New Englanders have mostly come to embrace the word. There's "Yankee Magazine", Yankee Candles, on PBS there is, "The New Yankee Workshop". Some New Englanders get really upset when they hear someone refer to someone from oh, say NY or NJ as a Yankee. And refer to someone from Illinois or Michigan as one and you will get a lecture.
So repeat after me. A Yankee is someone from New England. A Yankee is someone from New England. A Yankee is someone from New England. A Yankee is someone from New England. A Yankee is someone from New England. A Yankee is someone from New England. A Yankee is someone from New England. A Yankee is someone from New England. A Yankee is someone from New England.
Are we clear now?
A Yankee is not from the Great Lakes region. A Yankee is not from Delaware. A Yankee is not from Pennsylvania. A Yankee is most definitely NOT from California. (Yes, hearing that from some halfwit was the last straw.) A Yankee is only from NY if they make money playing baseball.
So, any questions?
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Hold Me, I'm Scared
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Posted:Sep 18, 2008 11:19 pm
Last Updated:Oct 5, 2008 9:02 pm
77585 Views
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This has been a topsy-turvy week in the financial markets. The artifical inflation of oil prices thanks to all you assholes with hedge funds crashed, (I hope you all didn't invest all your inheritance in oil,) Lehman Brothers and Merrill Lynch failed, there's a deathwatch over WaMu... A friend of mine works for them in one of their many corporate offices around the country and she told me that this week no one is calling out sick and the rumors of losing their pensions are flying. Yep. It's been a scary week.
But it's not just the financial markets that are in trouble. Oh no. As of this week, social networking sites are in trouble, too. It has nothing to do with the economy crashing around our ears. It is far more insidious than that.
There is a new in town.
One so dastardly, so evil that it shall put the others to shame and run them out of business. It shall even threaten this site. It is already becoming massive and it was launched just the other day. One run by an accidental superstar. No one can explain his fame.
I am talking about HoffSpace.
That's right. The anti-Christ, er, I mean David Hasselhoff has started his own social networking site.
Let me give you a minute for that to sink in. Hasselhoff. Social networking. Just let that sink in.
I can't decide if this was started out of pure ego, or if this man has a genuine desire to connect with his fans. But as the press releases were everywhere and it's all about him, I'd have to say, it's out of pure ego.
But it would seem that people are joining up in droves. They all can't be in Germany, either. The site seems to be growing in leaps and bounds. This scares me, I do admit.
Sadly, "The Hoff" couldn't get HoffSpace as a domain name. So, the domain name is... His name. I tell you this so you can see that yes, it is a real venture.
This is truly a sign of the end of the world.
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The Presidental Race
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Posted:Sep 8, 2008 12:16 pm
Last Updated:Apr 25, 2009 5:36 pm
78981 Views
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I know a few of you have been waiting for me to put my two cents in on this. I'm disappointed, I will admit it. I was all for Hillary. So this year, I just wasn't excited. Until after the conventions and the running mates were named.
Why are the Vice Presidential candidates so important this year? Well, chances are McCain won't make it a full term before his health gives out and Obama seems to want to go the Kennedy route and become a martyr. So, in my opinion, this isn't Obama v. McCain, this is Biden v. Palin.
What can I say about Joe Biden? He enjoys plagiarism, which is great for those going up against copyright law, including the Republican party. Yes, McCain has been using music of liberals without permission or paying royalties. Heh. Biden also likes his racist comments veiled thinly. However, he has years and years in the Senate and actually, if you can get past those two things, which I do grudgingly, he's a much better choice than Palin.
I've really been looking for something nice to say about Sarah Palin. I really have. I just can't. The woman is a nightmare.
Let's start with her former political views. She was a member of the Alaskan Separatist Movement, she wasn't a member... Excuse me, Alaskan Independent Party. Who have asked their members to infiltrate the two major parties. Well, she's addressed them, told them how happy she is to have them in Alaska and what do they want? Alaska to have a vote to secede from the United States. Her husband Todd is a card carrying member of the AIP. Now, there is a reason, especially if Alaska went back to being a territory. I will get to that in a minute.
McCain has heralded Palin for cutting taxes in Alaska. Um, what taxes? There has never been a personal income tax or sales tax on general goods in Alaska. The cigarette tax there was just raised last month and is now the fourth highest in the country. The spirits, wine and beer taxes are the HIGHEST in the country. Which means one thing. Corporate tax cuts. No tax cuts for the working hacks, but for oil companies.
And oil companies are big business in Alaska.
They pay corporate and property taxes to the state. Mind you, in most municipalities, property taxes are paid to the town, township, city, etc. and pay for things like the local police force, schools, keeping country roads in good shape and all of that. They aren't paid to the state in most places. Alaska of course, is different.
Which leads us to why Alaskans might want to go back to being a territory. The ONLY taxes Alaskan citizens pay out of their checks are unemployment, disability, Social Security and federal taxes. People who live in territories get full voting rights, a representative in the US House and well, no federal income taxes. Which would be a very bad thing.
Alaska is the ONLY state that gets more in federal funding than is paid in federal taxes. In other words, they want a free ride.
It's your federal dollars no doubt that have made Palin such a popular governor. She came up with the idea of paying every man, woman and $1,200 a year just for living in Alaska. No state income tax... Where do you think that money is coming from? She has decided to give everyone in her state welfare, while she condemns TANF for the rest of the country and I'm sure in her own state.
Now, let's look at her views on a woman's right to choose. I can hear some of you already. You think pro-choice means we want to rip the zygotes, embryos and fetuses from every pregnant woman on the planet. No. It means THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE.
The Supreme Court decided this in 1973 under a Republican President who was pro women's rights. That should be the end of it. But no. The religious right has gotten into the act.
I want to ask all of you who are far to the right about this abolition of taxes, welfare and forcing women to be punished for a broken condom, the pill not working, or just having a careless moment. If you do away with federal funding and force poor women to give birth, what happens to that baby? Doing away with federal funding and welfare may sound good from the populist point of view, but what it's going to create is a bunch of mothers on the streets with their begging. Or, as I read in the blog of a South African blogger here a few years ago, the will be begging door to door for food and money. And it won't be Halloween and they won't be in costumes.
Don't tell me adoption. Let's face it. There are PLENTY of and babies who need homes in this country. The trouble is, they're all brown and black. The shortage is of white babies. Because it's the white middle class, what's left of it thanks to eight years of Bush and upscale families who can afford abortion.
So pro-life is a policy that screams of white fright in my opinion and is racist. Let's make sure there are plenty of white babies for the people who want them. Who cares if it's inbred?
Yep. Sarah Palin is against abortion in the case of .
I truly feel sorry for her . We have no idea if her really wants this baby. If we are to listen to the hype, her set out to get pregnant at 17. To trap a boy into marriage.
Man, I can't wait for her to write that expose of a book. Let's face it. Study after study has shown that who get pregnant on purpose are doing so because they're not getting any love or attention at home or they're in a home situation they want to escape by any means possible. I wonder which of those two categories her falls into?
Then there are her religious views. The woman goes to a Bible Church who's pastor's views parallel Fred "God Hates Fags" Phelps. About the only differences between the Wasilla Bible Church and the Westboro Baptist Church are in Wasilla, the congregation isn't just Pastor Larry Kroon's family and they haven't started protesting funerals. Yet.
Kroon is an end times fatalist. His sermons are online both in text and audio. The man makes Reverend Wright look like a nice guy. I am serious on this. This man preaches that if we all don't follow his way of God, God will smite the entire world. Yet he preaches against his congregation reading things such as Hal Lindsey and Tim LaHaye. Hal Lindsey is the one who popularized the entire Rapture thing in the 1970s with the book, "The Late, Great, Planet Earth." It came out around the time the Jehovah's Witnesses started screaming they knew the exact date the world would end in 1975. But he doesn't want his congregation to get their religious information on the wrath of God anywhere but from him. Can you say cult?
"So?" I hear a few of you saying, "what does what her pastor believe have to do with what she believes?"
If you were thinking this, you don't deserve to have the right to vote.
The woman believes we should be a theocracy based on her religious beliefs. She is a former Pentecostal who now attends a church which is more severe than that cult. And yes, Pentecostal churches do have cult mentalities.
Palin's social policies are based on her religious beliefs. These people make Richard M. Nixon look like a saint and a great President. But that is another post entirely.
Now let's look at the biggie. Sarah Palin is under investigation and just may be eligible for jail time. She is under investigation for abusing her power to have Alaska's Public Safety Commissioner, Walt Monegan fired.
"Why did she want him fired?" I hear you cry. "Surely he must have done something awful!"
Well, it depends on how you look at it. What did Walt Monegan do that was so fucking dreadful? He and Palin's sister got a divorce. So, he had to be fired. Yeah, makes sense. If you're into graft and dirty politics.
God, there is so much wrong with this woman that I know I'm leaving a few things out. However, what I find scary is how much steam the McCain/Palin ticket is picking up because she's a woman.
I find it incredibly sexist to vote for someone based on gender. Male or female. Look at what they believe in. Look at who they are. Don't just say, "YES! FINALLY A WOMAN IN POWER!"
Because to vote blindly based on that will be to turn us into a country based on religious law. Sorry, but keep your religion out of my personal life.
Dear Goddess, why, oh why couldn't he have picked Kay Bailey Hutchinson?
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Practical Jokes Are Fun... When I'm Not The Victim
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Posted:Sep 1, 2008 6:09 am
Last Updated:Jan 20, 2010 7:04 pm
77571 Views
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Last night, I heard panicked words from the kitchen. "Dad, look out! That really big spider! It's right next to you!"
This was followed by, "Oh fuck!" and the sound of a large man stamping his foot over and over.
I asked what kind of spider it was. I was told it was a brown recluse. Great... So, I went in to look at the carcass that we were all too pussified to clean up. It was an Oklahoma Brown Tarantula from the looks of it. Brown recluse spiders aren't nearly that hairy. Nor are the legs as thick.
As everyone went to sleep one by one, the was reminded that he was to clean the kitchen and oh, be sure to clean up the ginormous dead spider.
This morning, I woke up bright and early having gone to sleep early. I sat down at my computer desk, pulled out the keyboard shelf and started to answer an IM from a friend that was left as I slept. I hit a key and instead of feeling the key, I felt something hard. And fuzzy. I looked down. I screamed. Then I screamed some more.
There was a ginormous spider sitting on the keyboard. It is the one in the picture. (Yes, I know the keyboard needs cleaning.) My screams woke up the roomie's . She and I start trying to figure out what kind of spider this is.
It's not a brown recluse. They have no black and they're not nearly this fuzzy. But the legs look right. It sort of looks like a tarantula. But the legs aren't fuzzy enough. Well, the brown and black patterns, is it a hobo spider? But they don't live in this region.
We were very freaked out and well, some of us are girls when it comes to spiders. We sat and watched it. We tried to prod it into a cardboard box, to take it outside, to release or kill it. It wouldn't move. She asks me, "the website says they like to play dead. Is that what it's doing?"
I tell her that I think so. But I am finding it odd that it didn't move when my finger hit it and it wasn't moving when we tried to prod it into a box.
The roomie wakes up. I tell him to look at my keyboard. Mind you, he's not even awake. He tells us he sees a keyboard. I tell him to look closer. He finally sees it. Mind you, the curtains are drawn and it wasn't exactly full light out yet.
He goes off and gets a piece of paper and a glass to do something with it, as none of us really wanted to clean squashed spider from a keyboard. He announces that it's not only dead, but he recognizes this spider. It was the one he killed last night!
Yep. It wasn't playing dead, it WAS dead. I was told the boy was playing a joke on me.
Yep. The boy is very proud of his spider practical jokes. He's told me the story of killing a big, black spider and putting it on a string and then setting it up so when his father sat at his computer, it would drop on the string in front of him. Last summer when I was first here, I found him doing something to one of the tan spiders that spent their time dangling from the evergreen on the front lawn. He killed it and used it for another stupid spider trick on his father.
I started giggling. The boy got me good. But of course, you can't admit that. I put on my gruff voice, went to try to rouse him from bed again, (it was my turn to try to wake him at that point,) and told him I didn't find his practical joke very funny. (I admit, that was a lie. If I wasn't petrified of spiders, I could see me doing that to someone.) He told me he didn't do it, didn't know what I was talking about, never saw the squished spider last night. But the squished spider had been cleaned up.
Finally, on his way out the door, he admitted that he did it, but lied because, "I didn't want to listen to you bitch."
So I called him a bitch as he was about to shut the door.
I would think about payback, but that would just escalate things. So, I shall let it slide. But it was a good trick. The girl and I sat here for nearly two hours watching a spider, being afraid to get to close to it and... It was dead.
But, perhaps it's because it was dead for so long, I still have no idea what kind of spider this is. Do any of you have an idea?
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Cam Trolls Can Be Fun To Feed
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Posted:Aug 29, 2008 6:26 pm
Last Updated:Sep 9, 2008 1:59 am
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Yeah. This was on IMC here and completely out of the blue. Just his style of speech in the first few lines reminded me of this guy who was a performance artist or something in Manhattan back when I was young. The guy dressed exclusively in period clothes, went around bitching about the modern world, was rumored not even to have electricity in his apartment... Yeah, this guy reminded me of him. But it didn't take me long to realize this guy was doing this to try to piss people off.
Hey, I was bored. So I engaged him. My comments on this conversation are in red. Please note, the conversation did end up turning to religion and well, some things may offend those with deep religious roots. Also, as he was doing the 19th Century Southerner, some comments about people knowing their places with me mocking may be considered offensive.
You have been warned...
Cam Troll: your games do not work
Cam Troll: on me, be gone!!
MissAnnThrope: What the fuck is your problem, other than you're either drunk or on drugs?
Cam Troll: So, madam, you want a verbal duel. Proceed
Cam Troll: you are not used to a man who will not tolerate your games
MissAnnThrope: What games?
MissAnnThrope: You seem to be off your meds.
MissAnnThrope: You seem to think that I bother to keep my cam window up so I can see every page. I don't.
For those of you who have never used IMC, it's not like a normal IM system where something flashes in the bottom tray when you have a message. So unless you keep it full screen, you have no idea if someone is paging you. There are guys who will have long winded conversations with themselves, not realizing no seperate window opens up unless I accept the page. So I have no idea how long this guy was talking to me before I answered.
Cam Troll: You and your being are the games!!
MissAnnThrope: The games are in your head and really, Risperdal will help you with the voices.
Cam Troll: Your 21st Century way of thinking is not constructive
MissAnnThrope: So I should be like you and use 19th century thinking?
MissAnnThrope: Got the slaves out back picking cotton, do you?
MissAnnThrope: And using a cardboard box and string for your internet connection
Cam Troll: You are another female who wants to tell men want to do! Yes, the 18th and 19th centuries were much better. Everyone had the same standards and everyone knew their proper place in society. Chaos reigns supreme in these so called modern days.
MissAnnThrope: Proper place in society? MissAnnThrope: So the blacks were in the fields, the women were barefoot and pregnant and the men were lynching people? The good old days eh?
MissAnnThrope: Right down to the poll tax and women not being allowed to vote.
Please note this man was in North Carolina. So yes, I do make references to the racism that was so rampant in the south in the pre and post civil war days. No matter what this guy says, I still think he was bugging women on cams because his white sheet was at the cleaners.
Cam Troll: Madam, you know what I am talking about ---you are trying to be annoying. Ever since The Civil War and Reconstruction, society has gotten worse due to those damn Yankee bastards ruining my civilization!!
Yep. Even before he mentioned the Civil War, I knew he was on that bend.
MissAnnThrope: I am a Yankee bastard from NJ buddy
MissAnnThrope: Yeah, we damned Yankee bastards did away with slavery. How dare we.
Cam Troll: Before The War, the federal government was not in your daily business--it was far away and remote. Nowadays, if the federal government gives you a dollar, it wants to tell you how to spend the rest of your tax money!! This is an improvement over pre-Civil War days?
Cam Troll: Right now, federal officials are probably monitoring our "chat"---what we say is none of their damned business!!
Someone listens to too much conspiracy internet radio. Alex Jones, Clyde Lewis, Sherry Shriner... A little of that goes a very long way, IMO. But this poor guy can't go for the orgone collector or the tin foil hat, as those are 20th Century constructs.
As far as the fed watching, if they were, I hope they're keeping an eye on this guy.
MissAnnThrope: So you want blacks picking cotton and women barefoot and pregnant and you in charge of the lynchings, eh? You didn't answer me before.
Cam Troll: Back in the day, everyone knew their proper place, including the federal government!! Now government is in all our business and shaking us down for money to waste on stupid projects!!
Cam Troll: Back in the day, everyone knew their proper place, including the federal government!! Now government is in all our business and shaking us down for money to waste on stupid projects!!
Cam Troll: How much liquor do you put in your coffee, Madam? Your way throws nature off balance!!
Yeah. How dare our tax dollars be wasted on fixing collapsing roads, keeping small from having to go begging door to door for just a piece of bread, Medicare for old people... The horrors! OK, so I think all this war spending is misplaced, but that's me.
MissAnnThrope: I don't drink. But I think the barkeep should have flagged you before he did.
MissAnnThrope: It must be a conspiracy.
Cam Troll: Once again, you respond with drivel. You are not up to this battle of words. You stay in Oklahoma and I will still on my plantation in NC!! We can coexist a 1,000 miles apart!! Have a great day, Madam!!
Ah, the modern age. I think is "plantation" is actually the plantation in Jamaica where that weed he's been buying was grown. But I wasn't far off with my comments on slavery, as you can see.
MissAnnThrope: You know, your the one who contacted me first. So you really do need to get back on the meds.
MissAnnThrope: Before you start standing on street corners, preaching about Planet X, Nibiru and Marduke.
Yes, I couldn't resist a veiled comment suggesting he was confusing plantation with planet.
I thought he was gone at this point. But he came back. I think he took his meds while he was gone.
Cam Troll: Madam, you were a good sp
Cam Troll: sport and a worthy oppone
Cam Troll: Truthfully, I don't care
Cam Troll: what you do or think!!
MissAnnThrope: Yeah, I'm a Yankee bitch. What does my opinion count?
Cam Troll: Occasionally, The Devil
Cam Troll: makes me do naughty
MissAnnThrope: That's not the devil. It's not taking your meds and listening to the voices.
Cam Troll: things like verbal duels!
Cam Troll: If I offended you, thenI
Cam Troll: apologize!! As a Southern
Cam Troll: gentleman, I promise I
MissAnnThrope: I just think you're insane.
Cam Troll: Madam, I have told that on numerous occasions and I quite frankly the different personalities that are trying to control me have issues with each other!! You have been talking to *Cam*!! *Cam* is the nice one---*Troll* is a really big asshole and a sexist Southern BASTARD!!
His handle consisted of two men's names. I have replaced his handle with my little handle for him.
MissAnnThrope: Heh. I think he has been emerging... In a big way.
MissAnnThrope: With the populist, ill thought-out, Libertarian spiel... And he'll be the first to complain when roads go to shit and cops aren't paid when taxes are abolished.
Cam Troll: I will depart before *Troll* emerges---even I don"t like him and he is me, too!! Good day!!
Cam Troll: Oh, shit, Madam, *Troll* is coming---I must sign off!!!
But he doesn't sign off. Oh no...
Cam Troll: Madam, before the War my family was conservative Democrats!! After the war, too, somwhere in the 1920s---we had remade ourselves in wealthy folk again---we became Republican!! There are only two parties in Nc--Democratand Republican. We don't like to share power with anyone else!!
Bob Barr is going to be disappointed to hear this. He seems to think the Libertarians are on the ballot in all 50 states.
Cam Troll: By the way, the roads are already shitty!!
Cam Troll: Maybe I should lock myself up in the crypt---the way things are nowadays we will probably have a nuclear war soon anyway!
MissAnnThrope: Conservative Democrats, eh? So you were out burning crosses on lawns.
MissAnnThrope: So since you're here tonight, I take it your white sheet is at the cleaners.
Cam Troll: Nobody likes the United States and we want to tell everone else what to do?
Cam Troll: Madam, once our slaves were freed we came to the realization that slavery was over, so we invented sharecropping---slavery in another form, you see?
MissAnnThrope: Yep. And you guys invented the poll tax and white sheets as a fashion statement and cross burning and lynching.
Cam Troll: Have you not studied our American history? Plus, your family is probably related to my family if you are a true member of OK.
MissAnnThrope: Dude, I already told you I'm not from here, but from the Northeast.
MissAnnThrope: As just south of New England. Well above the Mason-Dixon line.
How many times prior to this did I tell him I was a damn Yankee? At least twice? and he thinks I'm an real Okie? Someone hasn't been paying attention. Or maybe I told Troll and at this point I was talking to Cam. I guess having MPD can be fun...
Cam Troll: Madam, I did not and will not participate in such atrocities--finally, reality sets in and you must accept the times. Madam, that revelation explains much about your predispositions in life, New England was fine when the Puritans and Pilgrims controlled that area!!
MissAnnThrope: Um, yeah. Both sides of my family pretty much got off the Queen Mary in the late 19th or early 20th Century. And they traveled first class and avoided Ellis Island as a result.
MissAnnThrope: Only those that traveled steerage ended up there.
Cam Troll: So you arrived after the Catholics took over a predominantly Protestant part of the country!!
MissAnnThrope: Everyone in my family WAS Catholic. You're really digging a grave here.
MissAnnThrope: AND... Without the Catholics, you wouldn't have Protestant religions.
Yeah. Protestants came before Catholics, obviously. And Jesus wrote the KJV in 30 A.D., it wasn't at all based on the Bishop's Bible and written for political purposes at all. Nope.
Cam Troll: You see we live in the same country,but our heritage is much different!! Madam, i have good Catholic friends--I don't have time to refight the Protestant Reformation!! You are correct on that ONE point!!
MissAnnThrope: Chances are except for the Greek and Russian Orthodox and Egyptian Coptic sects, you'd be bowing to Mecca a few times a day.
Cam Troll: The Catholic Church has had its good points no doubt--I have liked most of your recent Popes!! Muslims are a common threat---well, radical Muslims are!!
MissAnnThrope: I'm glad you made that distinction.
Cam Troll: We actually seem to be agreeing on some issues--that's taking the fun out of this game, isn't it?
Yep. I got him to talk semi-seriously and started taking the fun out of his game. This is where it's probably going to start getting boring for most of you. It's about religion, quite heavily. As most of you know, I have little love for organized religion, so be warned, some of you might find what follows offensive.
MissAnnThrope: Well, I'm not fond the Nazi Pope, if that counts for anything.
Cam Troll: That is humorous--because I actually refer to him as that myslef!! He is more conservative than John Paul II and he wants to return to pre-Vatican II. See, that's too conservative even for me!!
MissAnnThrope: He wants to return to the Inquisition.
Cam Troll: I don"t know if I would agree with that, but he does have a way of pissing off pretty much anyone--Catholic, Muslim, or Protestant!!
Cam Troll: He may be too intellectual for his own good. People would rather have a good pastor than a great theologian.
MissAnnThrope: He's not half the intellectual JPII was.
MissAnnThrope: And his official title before pope was Grand Inquisitor.
Cam Troll: Well, maybe he is more entrenched in dogmatism.
Cam Troll: American Catholics ignore the Pope because they are surrounded by all of these Protestants.
Um, where aren't Catholics surrounded by Protestants, other than South America?
MissAnnThrope: Has nothing to do with that.
Cam Troll: Then what?
MissAnnThrope: Catholics in South America, Latin America, Africa, they're not half as educated. Most are illiterate peasants.
Cam Troll: As a liberal, should you dress that up a little so it sounds politically correct?
MissAnnThrope: Right wingers invented Political Correctness. It's also Republicans for the most part who passed anti-smoking laws.
MissAnnThrope: But no. The less educated a person is, the more likely they are to wrap themselves up in religion.
MissAnnThrope: The peasants however, believe they're going to hell if they use birth control.
Cam Troll: I know what you mean. In the South when you breathe in the air, you breathe in religion whether you like it or not.
MissAnnThrope: Yep. The number of fundie churches around here is scary. And IQ comparisons have shown the more fundamentalist a person is, the lower the IQ.
Studies have actually shown those who belong to fundamentalist movements tend to have lower IQs. I wish I could post a link to the studies and graphs here, but I can't.
Cam Troll: As I said, our heritage is quite different. Down Here you are expected to be a member of a church or syna gogue, eben if you never go.
MissAnnThrope: It would seem Pentecostals, Bible Baptists and Assembly of God are the dumbest out there.
Cam Troll: There are so many denominations because people want a church that makes them feel happy and safe.
MissAnnThrope: Sounds about right.
MissAnnThrope: Yeah, Ted Haggard as my minister would make me feel warm and fuzzy, especially if I had a teenage who was grappling with his sexuality.
Screw the Catholic Priest scandals. Nearly 1000 Protestant ministers have been guilty of sexual abuse towards boys and girls in this country. Most just aren't as famous as Ted Haggard, so he gets used as an example.
Cam Troll: When the Catholic Church was dominant or the Church of England was dominant, everyone participated in the same boring services.
Cam Troll: You are a funny sarcastic woman who gets the point. We share similar attitudes after all.
MissAnnThrope: So it seems. You were comedic gold before you started making sense.
MissAnnThrope: But even back then, there were atheists.
Cam Troll: Now I will have to find someone else to verbally harass--thanks alot!!
MissAnnThrope: Most of the founding fathers were Deists, who believed not in Jesus or the God of Abraham, but the God of Nature.
MissAnnThrope: HA! You WERE just looking to piss off people!
Cam Troll: You are trying to goad me into another theological debate. George Washington was an Episcopalian, John Adams was a Unitarian< James Madison was Presbyterian?
Cam Troll: You were correct--i like to piss off people and bring them out of the their comfort zone.
I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! He screamed of being a frustrated performance artist from the start. Poor boy met his match.
MissAnnThrope: George Washington might have belonged to the congregation, but he had some harsh words for God and organized religion. Unitarians do NOT believe in God as Christians do. And Madison was years later, no?
Cam Troll: I have a mean streak! Washington consistently went to Church; UNitarian are not really Christians---I tried to pull a fast one!!
MissAnnThrope: I know. Unitarians are very witch friendly.
Cam Troll: Unitarian and universalist beliefs are the results of too much thinking---people can not know everything about God!!
MissAnnThrope: Ever look at a picture of a nebula? You can see the female form creating the stars.
MissAnnThrope: That is God. A nebula.
MissAnnThrope: There is no God of Abraham, there is nature and the universe.
Now it's my turn to annoy him and bring him out of his comfort zone. But I am serious. Take a close look at a nebula sometime.
Cam Troll: Now you are trying to annoy me again. When John Calvin could not logically explain a theological principle he said" We cannot know everything about God and who are we to question God?" That philosophy works for me!!
MissAnnThrope: Calvin believed everything we do is predestined. No free will at all.
MissAnnThrope: Which goes against the Bible, which says humanity has free will.
Cam Troll: Basically, yes. I have not come to a predestinarian viewpoint completely---although it would place a nice red bow on the world and explain many things.
MissAnnThrope: But predestination is a cop out.
MissAnnThrope: I was predestined to rob that bank. I was predestined to be part of the lynch mob. I was predestined to be a wife beater, abuser, etc.
Cam Troll: You may find this hard to believe. At one point I was going into ministry because I wanted to save souls and combat Free Will Baptist doctrine, etc. Now I laugh about it, because I am not political enough to survive a congregation---I am too blunt and it makes people uncomfortable!!
MissAnnThrope: Free Will Baptists amuse me. They're far more dogmatic than the Southern Baptist Convention.
Cam Troll: I know I attended a Free Will Baptist High School, From Grades 4-7 I attended Christ the King Catholic School and then the Free Wills. I am Presbyterian, I have a rather mixed background-or f--ed up, if u prefer!!
MissAnnThrope: I can imagine.
MissAnnThrope: But obviously you're not Orthodox Presbyterian. Or you wouldn't be online on a Sunday morning.
Cam Troll: I take the best from each and make my own Presbyterian beliefs. No, PCUSA--the General Assembly is more liberal than I am!!
MissAnnThrope: God forbid we Liberals give you ideas that might make you think about your own beliefs!
Cam Troll: I am much more liberal and tolerant now than I was in college, The crap that I said earlier when I tried to irritate you---I was playing a sterotypical character!!
MissAnnThrope: Which you did quite well.
MissAnnThrope: But I still think your white sheet is at the cleaners.
No one will convince me this guy doesn't believe a good bit about what he was spewing. I really do believe he has that white sheet and it's the whitest in his Klan chapter.
Cam Troll: Thanks, I have learned alot crap over the years and i like to put it to use. This has actually been fun and quite interesting. When we are bored late at night again and things are slow, we will have to solve the world's problems!! Have a good night!! Madam, I must be a better actor than I thought---should I head to Los Angeles??
MissAnnThrope: Eh, if you want to live on the streets, go for it. Actors are a dime a dozen
Cam Troll: Painfully true! Well, I have to go because I have to go to Church at 11:00--looks like I will have plenty to confess as usual!!
MissAnnThrope: Yeah, looking at half naked women on cam.
MissAnnThrope: Imagine if my bra was off. You'd be going to hell for sure.
Sadly, I think he signed off before I got that last line out.
But there you have it. Playing with cam trolls can be fun! I hope anyone who was offended by my comments on religion will understand that I was working to get a rise out of him.
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