Frustrated
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Posted:Jun 8, 2011 5:49 pm
Last Updated:Jul 6, 2015 7:11 pm
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Work blows.  Need a quick release.
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In theory. . .
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Posted:Apr 4, 2011 8:52 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2011 7:30 pm
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There's a theory which goes something like, "Pussy can draw you farther than dynamite can blow you!" I'm inclined to think this to be more than a theory. Why else would there be a greater preponderance of we guys on this site. Not saying it's a bad thing, necessarily...
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Confessions of a Blind Mute!
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Posted:Mar 18, 2010 7:57 pm
Last Updated:Apr 14, 2018 4:36 am
6239 Views
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Folk are funny.
I'm on a run--not too long--but long enough to know that dude and ole girl are on heat! Conversation is general, but the occasional freudian slip let on that there was more to this taxi ride than just transportation.
Now folk get close all the time, but the overly amourous body language tells me that my hyper-sensitive olfactory senses and aural perception are not off the mark. A quick glance in the rear view mirror reveals a bit of areola and the nostrils collect the wafting aroma of impending sex and I politely excused myself from the conversation.
Were it not for the short distance which remained they'd have gotten a free ride and the boot! I'm glad she paid me and not him!
I ain't mad at y'all though.
Just humoured.
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Al Not-So-Sharpton
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Posted:Dec 22, 2009 5:42 pm
Last Updated:Apr 14, 2018 4:41 am
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...and we wonder why folk run away from the established church.
I received an email last week with quoted comments attributed to the activist Rev. Al Sharpton. In that email, Rev. Al is alleged to have blasted Tiger Woods for fucking only white women and not giving black women a share of his wealth for offering sexual favours. What the fuck? Has this man finally lost all of the brain cells his perm has not already burned off?
And then he tries to credit himself, allegedly, by saying that he does not condone extra-marital affairs, but if the World's No. 1 golfer is gonna step out, he should step out with a sister? Somebody help my understanding here, 'cause I seem to have missed something somewhere.
While I think I understand what the learned Rev. Al is getting at, isn't he missing the bigger picture here? If Tiger wants to fuck white women exclusively, is that not his right? When did we earn the right to determine who can sleep with whom?
If my memory serves me correctly, Rev. Al also goes on to castigate brother Tiger for claiming to be black and then choosing not engage in coitus with any sistahs. Who died and made you God? Further, as I recall, Tiger was quicker to cast himself as Korean than he would cast himself as black. He didn't take that position until some years later in his career, so your point, Rev. Al is ill-founded. Point here is I don't have to sleep with black folk because I'm black. Perhaps he can't get it up with black chicks, who knows? Who cares?
If Rev. Al wanted to make some noise (which is what he does mostly) about something substantive, what he should have done was flog Tiger Woods for betraying his , his wife and his marital vows in the first instance and then for disappointing so many of his loyal fans--especially the youth who look to him as a tremendous role model and the complete picture of success, demonstrating, particularly to minority groups, that you can rise to the top against seemingly-insurmountable odds. He could then have finished his salvo with a sound thrashing for Tiger Woods showing the black and minority communities just as many people expect to see us--as the failures that they think we are--incapable of holding court in the upper echelons of Anglo-Saxon America.
Shame on you, Rev. Al. Shame on you.
Who cares what colour women Tiger Woods, or anybody for that matter, fucks? What matters is the integrity and understanding of their relationship and anyone who says different, mind your own business.
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...and yet another.
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Posted:Aug 21, 2009 8:15 pm
Last Updated:Apr 2, 2013 2:56 am
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Bill can blow this.
I am reminded of Florence a few years ago and my being stuck in this 14' square box while that lunatic makes up his mind what it is he is gonna do.
Don't I just love my job?!
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How's your Crack?
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Posted:Jul 29, 2009 8:57 pm
Last Updated:Mar 18, 2010 8:25 pm
1958 Views
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Okay. I got a crack in my windscreen today, and I was both awed and humoured.
I'm driving through town, like many do on the day before a holiday, and sistah must have found the lowest cut pants she could find. Clinging to her man from the back seat of his cycle, old girl was just too happy to not only show off her under draws which had rolled up and crept up over her pants, but additionally what one can only guess was the upper third-had to be all of 4-5 inches-of the crack of her ass!
I'm like, "What the . . ." And the only reaction I could muster was to laugh and drop my head in feigned weakness. She was obviously not concerned about her public image, however uncomplimentary it was. It mattered not that a fair portion of her personal anatomy was on display for all the world to see. And clearly, the management of pride was not an issue.
And while, on the surface, this appears a rather unfortunate case, perhaps we can all take a lesson from this situation. That lesson: worry not of the opinion of others, for it is our opinion of ourselves which holds the truest value.
Enjoy a crack-free Cup Match. Be safe at it.
More time,
A
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Deep in the Woods, almost
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Posted:Jul 27, 2009 6:59 pm
Last Updated:Jan 26, 2020 8:25 am
2871 Views
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I'm driving to work at dark thirty this morning and as I passed south round-about I had two thoughts:
1) Why in the hell would stupid ass plant sunflowers on the round-about? How can anybody see across the other side? That is just plain dumb.
And then I thought:
2) That's a perfect place to try and get a public nut!
How brilliant would that be? To get a hit in the middle of traffic and none of the passing motorists would be any wiser? (Be even better if 5-0 went whizzing by on a run to save Bermuda from some low life scourge.) Life, au naturale. Just as nature intended. I know the gardner would be mad as a hatter when he sees his three of four trees in the middle are mashed down, but the throes of passion could give a hoot about him. Cum on babes, we got a mission to accomplish!
If you hear me in the opposite quarter, don't be too worried, I don't mind sharing. Just holler when you are ready to swap.
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Suave
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Posted:May 1, 2009 4:53 am
Last Updated:Jul 10, 2010 4:13 am
2257 Views
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Well, if you all don't think Top ain't the coolest dude to hold post then who is? The epitome of grace under fire. No chance anybody from the other side of the aisle, or even the same side for that matter, could have ever been so refined in responding.
I'll wager he'll be one of those immortals, but I ain't tryna put no pressure on him.
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Fine Print
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Posted:Mar 17, 2009 4:33 pm
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2011 4:26 am
2484 Views
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Ha. Apparently, I'm supposed to make one of these blog posts every month and I get some kinda bonus or something?
Like life, I guess I better start reading the fine print.
They'll screw you every time!
More time,
A
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Beach Bars
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Posted:Jan 7, 2009 4:14 pm
Last Updated:Nov 6, 2021 8:33 am
2457 Views
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So,
It seems they wanna "pave paradise to put up a parking lot." Or a beach bar at least. How very unfortunate and short-sighted of the Minister to approve such a plan on one of the few remaining unspoiled beaches in Bermuda.
Gone will be those quiet intimate moments shared between two lovers on the deep, pink sands of Long Bay. That has got to be the softest stuff on the island. (Ever tried running on that beach? It's a bitch!)
Gone will be those au natural moments at Jobson Cove.
Gone will be those late night rendezvous in the car park. One of the best dark spots along South Shore--that part anyway.
Gone will be the tranquility and serenity for which Warwick Long Bay is known world wide.
Gone will be the crashing of the waves--replaced by the creativity of any number of local DJs.
Why? Because some import from another parish sees dollar bills and has managed to convince somebody who grew up in a concrete jungle that it is "a good idea to open another bar on the beach." So freaking what? Some things in life have no fucking price tag. You can't pay enough for quiet these days. Everywhere you go there has to be some kind of God-forsaken noise going on. Is there no refuge? No sanctuary? Must everything be some uncontrollable cacophony of sound?
Don't get me wrong, now. I kinda like the idea of a nearby place to get a refreshment. Tobacco Bay and I are practically on first-name basis. But for crying out loud, I'm tryna get my freak on here and you wanna screw with that--pun intended. Sometimes, some of us just want to sit and be undisturbed.
Just up the stretch there is Horseshoe Bay. You wanna grab a drink? Go up there and get one. Why fuck up ALL of Bermuda? Those of us who enjoy Long Bay are smart enough to bring our own beverages, and we enjoy them quietly. The rest of you can take a hike.
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Does size really matter?
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Posted:Jun 25, 2008 2:03 pm
Last Updated:Jun 7, 2013 7:02 pm
2488 Views
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I love my sisters. They are such multidimensional creatures, to the point where they are virtually incomprehensible, but I love them anyways. Ask them one thing and most likely they will try and give you the answer they think you wanna hear. Until they get pissed off, and then the real deal Holyfield stands up!
I recently found myself on the receiving end of a sister venting about her girlfriend who was dating, by all accounts, an asshole. It happens, right? And the conversation went on about how and why she shouldn't be dating the guy and yada, yada, yada. And after just about all is said and done, "...and his dick is small!"
Okay, two things. First, somebody tell me what the size of the boys dick has to do with his ability to be sensible and capable of being an amenable partner in a relationship.
And two, I suppose after all is said and done, size does really matter. How many of you sistahs talk about if the brother knows how to use what he has it don't make too much difference? Bullshit. Piss somebody off and be part of the cause for a bad break up and suddenly something a brother can't help becomes the reason. WTF? LOL!
I think it is completely hilarious. For me, I don't give a fuck. Big or small, I got what I got and that is all I got to give. And too, I don't think I am an asshole either, so that shouldn't be the topic of any malicious conversations! Could be wrong though. Ha.
So the question, for what it is worth, remains: does size really matter?
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Playerette
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Posted:Mar 12, 2008 7:55 pm
Last Updated:Apr 14, 2018 4:44 am
2140 Views
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She's fuckin with me! In actual fact I think she is a cock teaser. But you have to laugh--take it all in stride.
Its the second time I've replied to her, "The door is open." And she answers, "Whatever."
Keep in mind, now, that the conversation started something like, "You don't know me, do you?"
And she says, "Nope. Tryin to find out."
So what peeps? Who's got games to play? You, Sexy? In the mean time, I'm still enjoying living!
More time,
A.
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Pre-Booty Call Agreement.
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Posted:Mar 9, 2007 9:31 am
Last Updated:Apr 5, 2009 3:27 pm
1949 Views
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A friend of mine sent me this. It's hilarious. Feel free to copy and paste, y'all.
This pre-booty call agreement hereinafter referred to as the "Agreement" is entered into on the _____day of __________, 2007, between ___________________________(your name) and _______________________________________(my name).
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over - unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.
3. No calls before 9 PM - we don't have shit to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only sex allowed.
5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The answer is no, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called the "backup" unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - money is always good.
8. No baby talk - however, dirty talk is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers - it's really none of your damn business.
10. No calling each other "friends with privileges" - we are not friends, just fuck buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK - don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing - I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex - it's over, so get your ass up, get dressed, and go the fuck home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't care.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be: "My roommate's girlfriend/boyfriend............"
17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason is less eye contact the better.
18. NO condoms, NO fucking - Carry your ass home.
19. Bring your own drink - I am not your liquor store.
20. No phone use, please - don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass.
21. If going to a hotel room, we either split the cost, or alternate who's paying - you pay this time, I pay next......
22. Don't bring any of your friends with you - unless they're gonna join the party.
* EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:
The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, it will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. In other words, you will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.
Participating Party
Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________
Participating Party
Signature_______________________________________
Date: ________________
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