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FWB  

bodybutter8000 53F
46 posts
10/2/2015 9:45 am
FWB


Curious to all the men and women out here in 04j.com land.
How do you personality separate your feelings when you know that you are just seeking a sex/friends only relationship?

thinksmiles1 66M/67F
1352 posts
10/2/2015 12:36 pm

Sometimes you cant't. I once fell for a married Playmate. With a long discussion betwen us. We have come to an understanding. She will remain married and I just a playmate.


SingleItalianGy2 52M
1205 posts
10/2/2015 4:15 pm

Good questions for sure.....but I am not sure how you can detach feelings when you share an intimacy with another person. Obviously there has to be some type of attraction in the first place to get that point....right? In my opinion it is best to communicate and make CLEAR ones intentions, do not sugar coat or beat around the bush. If not communicating clearly it will only lead to jealousy and broken hearts down the line. Some people just cant deal with not being the "one" and those are the ones you have to avoid when seeking a FWB relationship in my eyes.


Leegs2012 51M
96137 posts
10/2/2015 5:04 pm

As I have gotten older I put my feelings aside when looking to play with new women..
However...you have heard of the song "Fooled Around and Fell in Love!" It can still be there!


OttawaMan43sum 53M
2220 posts
10/3/2015 7:28 am

This has been a long-standing dilemma. It's important to be upfront with the other person about the line that you're drawing. But sometimes that person will naturally cross it because they get carried away with their feelings.

Feelings are important to have, but dealing with "I love you" is much harder. That's the part that makes things awkward.


AFTICA22 70M

10/22/2015 6:48 pm

As long as you give and receive the pleasure each of you desire, it's all good


YourPlayToy44 57M
1 post
11/7/2015 3:36 pm

Big question, think it mostly has to do with feeling a need to connect with someone, with less chance of rejection.


RonBone88 61M
2 posts
2/11/2016 7:43 pm

I don't think you can separate your feelings. For the sex to be really good you have to be able to communicate passion to your partner and you cannot really and truly have real passion for someone you don't care about, even if it's just a little. Otherwise you're no better than dogs. Dogs simply fuck. Any dog can do that. Humans have the ability to love and care deeply. Having said all that, being able to care deeply (even love?) your sex partner doesn't mean you have to spend the rest of your life with them in a committed relationship. Let your feelings go. Have passion. Fall in love. Just don't expect that you'll be with that person always. You'll smile though when you think about them though.


AFTICA22 70M

2/15/2016 5:21 pm

Be honest to what you want and look for someone wanting the same if it`s a fwb then look for that, nothing more or nothing less.

Set your own boundaries and make sure the other side know exactly what they are


bodybutter8000 53F
34 posts
3/9/2016 10:03 am

I always hold back especially if its just a fling or a passing romance. Defence mechanism. lol


Erosdude2 56M  
44 posts
4/16/2016 10:01 am

Very interesting question...

As you see, peoples' answers run the gamut depending on their individual attitudes toward sex and intimacy.

I am on your side in believing that sharing one's naked body and one's most private of parts is the most intimate things we as humans can do with each other. It has been said that one is the most vulnerable when having an orgasm, and to witness another losing control of their self and opening up that much, appearing almost vulnerable, their body uncontrollably convulsing and moaning and sighing, and you doing the same, is something you share with few others. So in my mind, there really isn't such a thing as recreational or meaningless sex. There will be different levels of it, but I'll always have a "bond" of some type with everyone that I have ever sexually been with, because we bared all to each other by sharing such experiences..

But lots of others don't look at sex that way. Sure, they may have a "bond" with those that they care a bit more about, but they don't look at sex with everyone as something truly "intimate."

It is all in the way you think about sex. Some of us get our minds involved more, I guess....


CanMaxine 63T
2 posts
4/24/2016 6:20 am

I think the key here is to develop the relationship (friends) before the benefits. My wife and I have some life long friends with occasional benefits and the relationship was in place and solid before the benefits phase emerged - although I think we all knew the benefits were more than likely in the future for us...


WaywardWhimsy 63F
325 posts
8/18/2016 11:45 am

I have the same viewpoint as betrme. Feel whatever you feel, whatever that happens to be. I don't understand why anyone would want to hold back. Because, honestly, if you love someone if feels pretty damn good. But the trick is to have no expectations that the other person *must* love you back.


Devildog4sex 67M

2/26/2017 5:57 am

If you don't want to involve feelings in your sexual relationships, you may as well stick with your toys. Otherwise, the guy will feel like you are faking it; because you probably are...


oneclassyguy21 57M
9 posts
7/26/2018 11:11 am

I think it all depends of one's definition of FWB. On a personnal note, I do need to feel connection and feelings towards the person I am with to experience intimacy. To me it's about managing expectations about relationship evolving towards a commited relationship that I can't or am not willing to offer right now in my life. Makes sense?
Would be a pleasure to talk about it with you bodybutter


lustydusty88 71M
1 post
12/13/2018 9:53 am

I actually joined this site long while ago and let my profile lapse, and joined again for a short one month just recently. I am on a dating site as well but have found
that most ladies on there are only interested in companionship and no sex, but I
still totally enjoy mattress dancing and all that goes with it, and have never jumped into bed on a first meet basis as I do like to get to know a person first and foremost
As far as controlling emotions, the Initial contact with someone will tell you if would work or not, and that is from each individuals Aura. like magnets they either
repel or attract. I would welcome a relationship if it ever developed and would love to be " In Love " again which is a different feeling than just loving someone
I could not jump into bed with someone just for the sake of having sex, easier to rent a hooker which I have never done and that's not on my " TO DO " list..
For myself at least, I have to have some kind of positive feeling if I were to have
a FWB, but much rather have someone to do outside bedroom adventures as well, as much as I Love doing the bed sheet shuffle....So to each his own... good luck on the site here.. Stay safe always....


omarbradley777 61M

9/22/2019 5:44 pm

sex and love are two different things. it's that simple


omarbradley777 61M

9/28/2019 4:34 pm

don't confuse infatuation with love. you want a friend first, then a lover any way. If you just want to get off, why not? Unless you're immature.


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