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Well I couldn't believe my luck when I first joined, lots of men wanted to meet me... I soon found out why! and it wasn't for my blisteringly funny personality  I did meet one man who I was with for 10 years, we moved in together, but he preferred drink to me, so it was bye bye Jose! I think women have more success on here, because of the sheer number of men, but it depends what you are looking for,,, yes this is a sex site, and if you just want sex, then you've hit the jackpot, but for anything ongoing, you've probably lucked out! ... I wouldn't mind a regular FWB, but weekly not, as you say 6 monthly!! ... but I would prefer a relationship. I met a man 3 years ago,he rings me about 3 times a week, we see each other twice a year if I'm "lucky" and he considers himself "my lover" PAH!! I don't think so!! I do have "one night stands" that want to meet again,.."because I was great" .... but don't want to commit to anything else... errrr that's a NO from me then!
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women have it easier ive met scads here until recently and that is cause of age and circumstances in family if you are looking for forever after a fuck me sight is wrong if you want that go to one of those shitty smarmy sights where there are no dirty pics thing is women on here pretend they wanna meet but they don't ive created profiles for male friends and sent thousands of invites ....so many the site made us wait two days to send more and got a handful of responses
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This site has surpassed my wildest dreams of fulfilling my sexual needs. And like you I wanted ongoing FWB relationships with one or more weekly, not as you put it, 6 monthly. I live in a small to midsize city. Nearly everyone I met from this site was local and we maintained an ongoing relationship of some degree or another. I cut them loose when I began a true relationship, in my case, with another woman. Another thought is your description of a man willing to be somewhat patient with pressure free conversation is exactly the type of man I sought and found here.
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I definitely feel that women have the advantage. As stated above, there are so many men on here that it is difficult for an individual guy to stand out from the masses. Also from what I've heard here and elsewhere that there a a lot of jerks out there that make even harder for the rest of us. I will say, though, that I've met some women online who were dicks (pun intended) too. I haven't researched the numbers to know if it's true but it seems like the majority of people on the site are looking for a single female, the "unicorn". Men, women, and couples are looking for single females which puts them in demand and also gives them the opportunity to be much more selective. Yes there are people who are only looking only for couples or men or women but those are the minority. What I've seen on other more local sites is that there is often single male bashing most events do not allow single males to attend. I understand the need to keep numbers equal and not be overrun by a lot of guys showing up and overwhelming the event, plus to also weed out jerks. It doesn't give a guy a warm fuzzy feeling. These comments are all coming from my male perspective and I don't have experience with what women on here go through. I'm sure women experience their own problems and issues here and it's not all fun times for them either. I'm just putting in my two cents from a male perspective.
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BiggLala, Thinking as you said in "general" I would say men have a higher success rate here on 04j.com than the women. Why I say that is from my experiences is that men will take "any port in a storm" per se for sex. Since being a member I dont know how many profiles I've seen that states the male member is straight., but they will contact me (In my profile I state that I'm bisexual) and ask in one way or another to give or receive sexual contact. Especially those traveling to the OKC area, or staying with family/friends in the area. As for seeking others personally for sex, or my free photography offers. Since I'm in no big hurry and nothing to prove to myself or to anyone, so if after months of chatting off and on. I call it a win to finally meet another member.
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I found when I 1st joined back in '99, yeah, I have been here that long, that I got lotsa results and quite a few meetings, and a good bit of funn too. Then I moved in '05 to STL, and was a member of a large regional swing group, and that supplied my wants & needs without much reason to resort to 04j.com, BUT, I still did find a few in my area that I met, and well.... then I moved to NOLA in '06, and OMG, tween this site & a few others, I was kept very busy indeed, and was introduced to the regional swing groups & clubs too. THEN I got married for my 3rd time in '09, and open marriage, lol, we met in a BDSM club ! We both played for the next 5 years, seperately, never together outside the BDSM club, and in '14 we got divorced. 04j.com as well as CL were my sources for partners during those 5 years. After we split, I moved to DC, where I went to 04j.com & CL again as sources, and CL did better than 04j.com, but both worked for me. Then, in '16 I got on the road, and 04j.com & CL both kept me happy as I crossed the country, and when I got HERE, I found CL was better than 04j.com, and now that it is gone, sigh, 04j.com isnt filling my dance card. But, I am getting a bit to old to play like I did 10 years ago, so am not missing it that much, but would prefer better results than I am getting. So, overall, it has been ok over the last 20 years, but CL was really better while it was available.
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women have it easier ive met scads here until recently and that is cause of age and circumstances in family if you are looking for forever after a fuck me sight is wrong if you want that go to one of those shitty smarmy sights where there are no dirty pics thing is women on here pretend they wanna meet but they don't ive created profiles for male friends and sent thousands of invites ....so many the site made us wait two days to send more and got a handful of responses If you have to write profiles for friends, then they are clearly not up to the job, and the fact that you sent "thousands of invites" (I assume you mean friend requests) isn't helping them either, why would women accept a friend request from someone they've never met?! except the friend collectors who have no intention of meeting anyone anyway!
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Put it this way, I believe I would have had better luck if I had spent all these years in a monastery.  Thoughts from the Garden...
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It's doubly hard for me to actually meet anyone here now. I have health issues (mainly joint problems) which recently caused me to stop driving. I have met women in the past and enjoyed the company but they were all long distance. I've attended blog meets in the past, but again..long distance. I still genuinely think that it is easier for men to have more success here than women. 
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In general .. I believe women have an easier time simply because the man:woman ratio is in our favor. I believe men have a higher success rate in meeting because women seem to be less likely to ghost someone. As for better experience - I don't think that can be generalized by gender. Overall, I've had a successful time here, with several long term FWBs though my success seems to go in waves and I'm currently struggling to get out of a trough. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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Seems that statistically there are more men than women so the answer is fairly obvious. From blogs, emails and conversations with men, they mostly say they have a tough time actually meeting a woman here, even getting a positive response to an email or IM. Sure the ratio of women to men make a difference but I think this is often because they get here assuming it’s a sex/hook up site (Why?!? Maybe because it is advertised as one.🤔) and since they came here assuming the women were all here for mainly sexual encounters like they are. They fail to realize that even if women are interested in nsa sex, they are not interested in having it with just anyone or everybody that contacts them.
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i would say, it's easier for women to get attention, because of the ratio of female to male... but yah...from there, it's actually get harder for women, cus you know, what good is it to get worthless messages day after day...and even if there are few got your attention, and get your conversation going, to determine their quality is not easy task... i had a time we were gonna actually meet, and then he stood me up and ghost after...well...i failed to see the actual quality in him... bottom line is....if you are patient, this site works like intended...but if you don't have that...well...it's not for you...
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I hate to generalize about anything, but I would guess that women find it easier to make an initial connection (solely due to ratios) but find it more difficult to establish a relationship that meets their goals/desires. Case in point, I do very poorly on vanilla dating sites, but get plenty of attention here. When I first joined I was newly out of an LTR and thinking that maybe it would be good to just get my sexual needs met for a while instead of jumping into trying to find "the one". And I did indeed meet a good candidate for that pretty quickly. We had a great sex connection, but I quickly realized that he talked too much about himself and that I wasn't interested in driving 80 minutes round trip to his place for 40 minutes of sex! He was very busy with two jobs and competitive sports, so not really interested in spending 'non-sex' time together. Fair enough and I can't say he deceived me. So I thought I could find better, because of all of the emails flooding my inbox. Eh - not so easy. After that first situation I can think of three more relationships that became ongoing and included some "non-sex" time together. One lasted six months, the next one five months and then the guy totally ghosted, the last one was four years but long distance and so we only saw each other once every couple months. Sorry for the novel, haha!! I think everyone's story is a bit different thus the difficulty in generalizing. Most people would probably think that finding three guys who more or less met was I was looking for, is a success story but they should realize that I've been on the site since 2005!   
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P.S. Also I agree with you that a guy who presents himself nicely here (not too crass) and is interested in what you speak of, a true FWB situation, should be able to do smashingly.
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I think meeting someone is easier for women, but having a successful meeting is easier for men. The former is due to gender ratios, the later due to expectations. I think I've been fairly successful. Initially I met a decent string of local women. They all petered out for a slew of reasons (and really not a rejection of ME, but external factors). With the local pool somewhat depleted, I began to fish in places I visited, and the blogger-babes. THAT has worked quite well!  Is This a Good Idea for Fathers Day My Crotch is on Fire Rain, on HNW [post 3312759] My Private Blog - Tell Me ALL Your Secrets
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I don't have a clue as to who has a better success rate on this, or any other, site. I know I manage to meet people. Considering I'm a standard member and don't have a picture posted, I've still managed to meet a number of people. It hasn't even been that long ago that I met someone. Unfortunately most of the time, that's all it is....a meet. They turn out to NOT be what I'm looking for. As for the last one...he was not only younger than what I'm looking for, but I really don't want to be around someone who's going to try to manipulate me at every turn and guilt me into doing what he wants. If I'm going to take a trip, it damned sure won't be a guilt trip! Pagan  Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!
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P.S. Also I agree with you that a guy who presents himself nicely here (not too crass) and is interested in what you speak of, a true FWB situation, should be able to do smashingly. It doesn't take much HERE ... to Make it happen... Wry sense of humour? Biting wit? 🤔 Mildly intelligent 🧠 Self depreciating appreciation for this whole space? Yep... naw... what do I know? 😔 ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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I also agree with most that a woman has a better chance because of the ratio of men to women. I joined out of curiosity, even at my age a bit naïve, but soon learned that there was something here of interest to me.. I am a very patient person and live in one of those areas where there is a lot of people and the site "says" there are a lot on here from my area. Not being in a big hurry, as I have learned over the years that "hurry" most likely is more costly. But after several years I had some very good "results" ( not luck) . Can't say that I think it was easier for me or a woman, but with patience and a bit of respect it does work... Good post Girl, thanks Stop by at lonlyforlove2 also see Lunch with Lonly , we get snow tomorrow Check my blog on New Community, "A photo of my big Pecker" also, " My Sunday afternoon with the kids'
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6/16/2019 6:41 pm |
I’m not sure it’s easy for anyone to meet. It’s a needle in the haystack to find and trust someone. I’m sorry to say but we live in scary times. I have found a few nuts. There seem to a lot more bi - men as well. I am an Alpha woman so that makes it difficult. I just hang out here at the blogs. Makes life easier to just be a voyeur!
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WOW ! ! ! You’ve rambled 10 (at last count) questions into one. First, 2 mentions in one ramble. I’m either honored or have gas . . . ahhh . . . never mind . . . it was gas. Second, your question is full of words that can have a variety of meanings. “easier” “better” “success” These things can have meaning that often depend on the gender of the reader. But that is a whole other rabble, err I mean blog. Third, as SAW mentioned, I am generally not fond of generalizations. But I will toss up some word salad anyways. Tres was wise to point out that “men and women have challenges here, just different challenges. Not sure if one side has it harder, because obstacles are there for everyone.” This applies to just about everyting on theses sites. As other women have mentioned, I agree that women generally have an easier time based on the M to F ration. So, in theory, they can choose from the herd of guys seeking their “goods”. Better and success depend on each other to define and are too individual to generalize. When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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for women of course
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Been here since 2003 but not continuously - had a few breaks from the site for various reasons. I had very low expectations of the site when I joined and those have been met - if I think I'm not going to meet anyone and that turns out to be true, then I'm not going to be disappointed. Over the years I've made a few online friends from the chat-rooms and had one regular FWB which lasted for about a year (we met on average once a week) before she decided she wasn't interested any more. I think the site works better for straight women - "free" membership, much more choice given the M/F ratios.
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What I came here for first was curiosity. What I found was a lot of fake or not serious about what they say female profiles. If it weren't for the blogs I would have left and never come back. I met (internetly speaking) many great women in the blogs though none were nearby. I did end up getting to meet a few who I become blogging friends with and they were genuine but not my attraction type. We simply met for lunch or dinner when I was in their areas. I did meet one woman who was real from profile and not blogs. She was amazing but was only needing a couple time fling to get her over a dry period with an attachment. That was fine, I am left with incredible memories which I would never want to forget. I left for several years only to come back and find out that most, almost all, of my lady friends from the blogs had already moved on. Now, I try to not get to caught up here as I find it more of a time waster that keeps me from getting my job done. That's my honest opinion plus...a I think the scammers, the rude and crude guys, and the female teasers only have ruined this site for those who are really seeking for something better.
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I think it is better/easier for women, as long as they have a decent BS detector I can only judge by my own experience here of almost 7 years, and I find myself totally with you on your ideal on here of a couple of strong decent lng term FWB with fairly regular contact I also like to think I am fairly patient when it comes to chat and respect and lack of pressure on women, but I would coutner your assumption that it makes it easier/better for that kind of guy to do well on here. Not my experience, although I have had some experience (and continued friendship) with one of your followers Given the amount of men on here throwing themselves at women (often crudely) it should be easy for patient smart women to separate wheat from chaff and get a meaningful membership on this site
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Great question hun and it's hard to say honestly. You know it can go both ways, as I wasn't in any hurry to find anything here actually but it took me over seven years to find the one I thought was the one, but alas it wasn't. I have been more of a match maker here over the years introducing members to one another and a couple of them got married and still are today. I think if members want to find a long lasting relationship they should take their time and get to know one another, unless your just looking for a quick fuck then I would have to say its much easier for the ladies as it all hinges on them pretty much. I hope you have a great day hun..  Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on.. 
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