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| Blogs > 4RealSpirit > Musings & Mischief |
The Right One? or How do you KNOW?
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The Right One? or How do you KNOW? How do you know when you've found a soul mate? How do you know when the fires of passion can grow into a deeply satisfying long term relationship? Do you trust your gut? What if your gut has been wrong before? What if you thought you found someone, then their behavior mystifies you? Lately I have been dating some. Not really "putting it out there" mind you, just having lunch or dinner to see if I "clicked" with the other person and wanted to pursue a relationship. Well, to put it simply I have had many first dates! They never seem to turn into a second date!!LOL Was it ME? Was it THEM? I searched my soul for answers, but all I got was a kind of "he's out there, be patient" kind of feeling *SIGH* Then, one day I was hanging out in The South Chatroom, where I go to chat when I'm bored, and a guy came in that I had known personally from years ago. We exchanged info and ended up talking for hours, and I felt really comfortable with him. No sparks, just a comfy friendly feeling. He ended up coming to visit overnight, and by the time we finished in the bedroom, I knew it wasn't "clicking"!!*sigh* Then over the course of the next week I felt truly ignored, like he had gotten laid and that was all he was interested in. So I accepted a lunch date with someone else on a Friday. That didn't go too well either. Both of these guys had nothing really wrong with them, not too many "red flags" or anything, but I just didn't "click" with either of them. THEN... I was in a giddy wired mood and I fired up my cam and went into the chatroom again...right after that so-so date at lunch. I was NOT looking to "hook-up" just was in there being my usual quirky, random self. On cam I was fully dressed, just typing away getting a laugh or two...then BAM! In comes this guy with a tiny picture on his profile, someone I had never seen in there before. We flirted back and forth and he gave me his IM addy and we started chatting on there. He sent me a face pic and I felt an odd familiarity with him, although we had never met before. Something about his smile and his eyes drew me in. Within minutes, we had made a date for that very night! Now, that is NOT like me!It went against every cautionary thing I had tried to use...but I went with it. When he picked me up, I knew almost at once that this was a very special person. Just the way he looked at me, the way he talked to me...basically everything he did was like he a read some book I had written on "how to date me" or at at least my last post about how I like to be kissed! (But he hadn't read that post)!!!! Some alarm bells were going off, but not about him, about the way I was feeling so comfy and telling him things I never talk about with anyone except a few close friends! There was that voice inside my head saying, "this can't be right, it can't be happening so fast" and stuff like that. The connection was intense and immediate...I know now why they call it a "whirlwind romance"...but this was a goddamn TORNADO!!LOL I was totally swept off my feet... BUT... Having been in strange and assorted relationships over the years and knowing that I did not want a repeat performance of those, knowing that I needed to act differently and that I had promised myself that if I found someone I was interested in that I would "take it slow", I found myself doubting. Doubting that this could be real, that I was doing the right thing...Doubting his true intentions, wondering about what he was "hiding", although there was no indication that he was...he volunteered his driver's license and gave me his business card. Everything that he told me checked out later...and I felt so drawn to him. Whenever I would bring up a topic in conversation, there were these really cool parallels between our lives and connections all over the place. We left each other reluctantly at 3 am, him having a 1.5 hour drive ahead of him and work the next day. All we had done was talk talk talk/ share share share and he gave me some of the best kisses I have ever had, and we didn't get any further, sexually. It was the perfect first date!! When I saw him again, the connection grew even stronger and I was getting scared...it was scary to feel like I had known him my whole life and we had only spent a matter of hours together! I had a "list" of things that I wanted to discuss with him, things that brought up caution flags, and he patiently answered all my questions and we talked again for hours. It was amazing! Strange things we have in common, like the color that he painted his kitchen was exactly what I wanted to paint MY kitchen, when I moved out of the housing here and could paint my own place! Other things, too many to bore you with here, fell into place. I read to him from a spiritual book that meant a lot to me and we talked for awhile and we found lots of common ground spiritually...and then the most "clicking" that I had ever experienced in the bedroom!! This was another case where it was almost surreal how he kissed me, touched me and made love to me, it was like he a read a book a wrote on "Spirit's body and how to get her off again & again" LOL It was amazing, satisfying and scary all at once! Then I realized that it was MY heart that was still encased in ice from my last relationship...I was not scared of anything this new man revealed to me...except the intensity of his feelings for me. I could see it in his eyes, I could feel it in his touch! There's some stuff you just can't fake! So, again.... How do you know when you've found the right person? Is it the fireworks when you kiss? Is it that comfortable feeling that you've known him for years? Is it a feeling that your body and his were made for each other and that it transcended "regular" sex and went on up into true lovemaking? What is it? All I know is that I want to explore this and of course will blog from time to time about it. Count on it! |
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