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Blogs > milderweather > My Blog

Sex and the Washing Machine  

milderweather 46M
71 posts
1/20/2009 1:56 pm
Sex and the Washing Machine
I moved recently, into a place that I can call home–a small condo which I share with my roommate. I take a lot of pride in being a homeowner, but even that is a learning experience.

It was Sunday evening I got a phone call from the president of the condo corporation.

“We’ve received a couple complaints and I’ve been asked to follow up,” She said.

I was horrified. I know this is not a new (and therefore not sound proof) building–I don’t even need to place a cup to the wall to hear my next-door neighbour’s conversation, but I take pains to walk softly, to not blare my music, and to treat my neighbours with respect.

“Do you have a washing machine in there?”

I was puzzled, “washing machine?” I clarified.

“Yeah, the people complaining claim you have a washing machine and they called me at 12:30 this afternoon, so I assume they heard the washing machine before that.”

I assured the president that having read the condo corp. by-laws, that I had not transgressed a single one. In fact, I even suggested that the individuals who complained come by so I can give them a tour of the residence and upon the discovery of no such washing machine that we’d have tea.

Satisfied with my answer she hung up. But I was left unsettled. What could I have possibly been doing before 12:30 in the afternoon to give someone the impression I had a washing machine? After all, a washing machine has a very distinct, rhythmic sound created by the agitator, which churns, churns, and churns your close clean. What could possibly make a similar steady, rhythmic sound?

Sex.

No–I don’t personally make sounds like a washing machine, but my place has wood floors–a low friction surface that allows things (like beds on top of area rugs) to slide around.

It just so happened that around 11:30, rousing myself from a deep slumber, and realizing a beautiful woman was occupying the space beside me, animal instinct took over.

So here I am, wondering how many times I can run my “washing machine” before all hell breaks loose. I know rubber under-pads exist to inhibit the slipping of area rugs on wood floors and it seems, that the purchase of one of the mats is inevitable. For the time being, I’m just thankful I didn’t have it on “spin cycle.”
Hrmestud 60M
6047 posts
1/20/2009 3:30 pm

 LOL I was going to say don't use too much bleach but that evokes the subject matter in a former blog of yours Milder


tigger678902 57F  
4545 posts
1/21/2009 2:13 pm

 LMFAO,....and WOW! Can I come over and play laundromat?
Good girls go to heaven,....Bad girls go EVERYWHERE!
I love to travel

Come visit my blog tigger678902


biglady17 62F
85 posts
1/26/2009 3:31 pm

 OMG milder that is too funny.. I am still holding my sides.. Good one hon, and definately made my day.. lol It is times like these when we really appreciate that some of our friends make biig Oopsies too. haha Luvs ya hon.. BigLady!


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