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| Blogs > rm_Sweatyarse > Not My Blog |
Being alone
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Being alone It was 2 days after Pauline decided to leave me alone... I was glad. Yesterday night i was changing my bed sheet and pillowcase, I saw a photo of My ex-WTB & I kissing... Hahahaha~! i sure looked funny when i kiss. Like an ape with puckering lips. I chucked it back and continued to complete my arduous task. After I'm done, I went to take a crap and a shower. And after I'm done, i did what I always do after showering... message my ex and checking for messages. There were nothing interesting in my SMS inbox, only piling with messages like "Good Night, A****ie." in the Sent folder. I looked at the messages in the Inbox sent by Pauline... hahaha kinda cute. I never took a good look at them when she sent it. It then dawned on me what a heartless person i have been. Ah Lian as she might be, she was a sweet little girl deep inside. (yeah... deep inside...). But sex with her was just about making her cum, then some piston movement, cumming onto her face/ass/in her ass/ tissue papers, then that's about that. i always avoided cuddling her.... It feels empty right after that moment i came.. . Having sex with someone whom you love and having sex with someone who loves you is totally different... Well, i never had sex with the one i love... yet... and i lost the chance. As i turned off the lights and tried to sleep, i turned on the small lamp beside, reached out into my pillow and dug out that photo of my ex-WTB and I (looking like an ape). It then dawned on me how lonely i am really feeling right now. Tears welled up but i suppressed it. "Must be i need a wank!" i thought. But i just couldn't get it up. I was feeling too depressed. First time in my life my little Lup Chiong is disobeying my orders for "Sedia" (Malay word for attention). I sat up on my bed and reminisced about the happier times with Ame******. She's a bit "Cheeena" but she's really sweet and endearing. She too, is a geek, but unlike me, she never (i'd actually prefer to say seldom) browsed for porn or looked for cyber hanky-pankies like me. I suddenly have the urge to call her. Somehow, i suppressed the urge and wanted to see her pictures in my phone instead.. !?!?!? They are all gone!! Damn! Must have been deleted by Pauline! I really wanted to yell out how sorry i am towards my Ex. I tried to bury my head in my pillow and closed my eyes shut to get some sleep... but images of me slapping Pauline's ass appeared in my mind instead.. Beats me why... but i laughed I tossed and turned for several hours... I tucked in to bed at 11, and as i looked at my phone, it's already 4 am.. Then my phone vibrated... Thinking it might be Pauline, i looked at it with a grimace.. But no! It's Am*****! She sent me an SMS She wrote: "I cant sleep. I cant help but think what are you doing right now... maybe having fun with that slut. I am worried about you, but yet i hate u for what you have done." I pressed the dial button immediately... she hanged up. this went on for several times... She sent another SMS "Pls don't call me... I want you to know what it feels to need someone and yet you can't reach that person." I was so upset... I really felt alone. Then here i am, writing my sorrows out during my working hours... feeling sleepy... ...sigh... |
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